fandomhigh | So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

The Danger Shop had been programmed into the deck of a classic tall ship, complete with multiple masts and sails, three different deck levels, and way, way too many ropes. There were barrels and crates aplenty for the students to use as desks, so long as they didn't mind said barrels and crates occasionally sliding around as the boat drifted along the swells.

Their teacher showed up a couple minutes late, looking ruffled and disgruntled, and — facial hair aside — not really at all like he should be leading a class called "So You Want to Be a Pirate". He was much too clean, for one, and had all his limbs. He didn't even have a pirate hat on!

"Alright, alright!" he called, as he stumbled backwards through the door. "Fine! I'm here, okay? Call off the damn moose!"

He tripped over a rope, flailed his way through a stumble, and turned to get a full look at his "classroom."

". . . Holy shit. Okay. Sure. This is definitely a thing that's happening."

Such professionalism.

He rubbed a hand over his face and blinked around at the students, then sighed and gathered himself. "Hi. Right. So. Welcome to pirate class. I guess. I'm Duke Crocker. You can call me Duke. The description for this class makes me out to be a pirate, which isn't entirely true? But I'm probably the closest you'll get who's not going to fucking kill any of you, so sure. Why not."

Yeah, he was off to a great start here.

"Um. Okay. So the weirdly gossipy radio station you all have around here makes it sound like introductions are the thing to do the first week, and considering I just got bullied in here by a moose, it's safe to assume I don't have a lesson plan. So introductions it is. Let's go with name, sailing experience, and . . . favorite historical or fictional pirate? Sure. Yeah. That's a plan. I'll . . . go first? I already told you I'm Duke. I grew up in a harbor town, so I've been on boats my whole life, though — not quite ones like this one." He was going to have to look up how to run a damn tall ship, wasn't he. "And as for favorite pirates, I gotta go with Ching Shih. She was a Chinese pirate from the 18th century. Born in poverty, worked as a prostitute, and ended up commanding eighty thousand other pirates in her prime, which is a hell of a success story. They say her first rule of conduct was that anyone giving any orders that didn't come direct from her got beheaded on the spot. Woman did not like insubordination." A beat. "Seriously, you all, pirates will fucking kill you, please don't take to the seas expecting loveable drunks who sing sea shanties. Like, they probably will also get drunk and sing. But, you know. Also there's murder."

He let that hang in the air for a moment, then clapped his hands and pointed to one of the students. "Okay. Now you. Name, sailing experience, favorite pirate. Go."

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Evie was bouncing only slightly. This class was almost as fun as ones at the Hall, but so different than Auradon.

"My name is Evie and I'm from..." She straightened up proudly. "I was born on the Isle of the Lost." She looked around to make sure no one was going to yell about anything upsetting and then looked back at the teacher. "I've been on the Lost Revenge but wew weren't allowed to go anywhere on here since we couldn't get out to the open seas due to other things."

She tilted her head. "Well, the most famous pirate back home is Captain James Hook but that's just because he's an evil jerk and tried to kill Peter Pan. His children are smarter than he is. My favorite pirate will probably be Uma because she just takes control."

Duke nodded slowly. He followed . . . maybe half of that.

Lost Revenge was a pretty sweet name for a boat, though.

"Uma, huh? What sorts of things has she taken control of?"

Evie tilted her head as she pondered the best way to answer that question. "Well, she's one of the few girls that make Hook's son and Gaston's youngest son respect her. She has no problems taking control of a situation so it will be interesting to see if she ends up being the next Pirate Captain."

Duke had to grin at that description. "Sounds like she'll make a fine one," he agreed. "You going to be part of her crew?"

"Sweet Evil, don't I wish! She and her crew taught me how to use a sword. Things kind of happened and now I'm not sure where the seaweed will fall at the end of the day -- especially with us being in two different places."

Well, there was an interesting exclamation.

"Right. She's still back at the . . ." What was it? "Isle of the Lost. You got a head start with the sword stuff, though. Maybe you can show your classmates a few tricks."

Assuming they didn't all also already know how to use a sword. Or maybe harpoon in Sidon's case?

"Yes, she is, unfortunately. I think she and her crew would like it here." She smiled. "I love being able to do stuff with the swords so I'm happy to share."

Evie could also dance while she was fighting with blades but she saw no reason to mention that.

Yet.

So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

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