fandomhigh | So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

The Danger Shop had been programmed into the deck of a classic tall ship, complete with multiple masts and sails, three different deck levels, and way, way too many ropes. There were barrels and crates aplenty for the students to use as desks, so long as they didn't mind said barrels and crates occasionally sliding around as the boat drifted along the swells.

Their teacher showed up a couple minutes late, looking ruffled and disgruntled, and — facial hair aside — not really at all like he should be leading a class called "So You Want to Be a Pirate". He was much too clean, for one, and had all his limbs. He didn't even have a pirate hat on!

"Alright, alright!" he called, as he stumbled backwards through the door. "Fine! I'm here, okay? Call off the damn moose!"

He tripped over a rope, flailed his way through a stumble, and turned to get a full look at his "classroom."

". . . Holy shit. Okay. Sure. This is definitely a thing that's happening."

Such professionalism.

He rubbed a hand over his face and blinked around at the students, then sighed and gathered himself. "Hi. Right. So. Welcome to pirate class. I guess. I'm Duke Crocker. You can call me Duke. The description for this class makes me out to be a pirate, which isn't entirely true? But I'm probably the closest you'll get who's not going to fucking kill any of you, so sure. Why not."

Yeah, he was off to a great start here.

"Um. Okay. So the weirdly gossipy radio station you all have around here makes it sound like introductions are the thing to do the first week, and considering I just got bullied in here by a moose, it's safe to assume I don't have a lesson plan. So introductions it is. Let's go with name, sailing experience, and . . . favorite historical or fictional pirate? Sure. Yeah. That's a plan. I'll . . . go first? I already told you I'm Duke. I grew up in a harbor town, so I've been on boats my whole life, though — not quite ones like this one." He was going to have to look up how to run a damn tall ship, wasn't he. "And as for favorite pirates, I gotta go with Ching Shih. She was a Chinese pirate from the 18th century. Born in poverty, worked as a prostitute, and ended up commanding eighty thousand other pirates in her prime, which is a hell of a success story. They say her first rule of conduct was that anyone giving any orders that didn't come direct from her got beheaded on the spot. Woman did not like insubordination." A beat. "Seriously, you all, pirates will fucking kill you, please don't take to the seas expecting loveable drunks who sing sea shanties. Like, they probably will also get drunk and sing. But, you know. Also there's murder."

He let that hang in the air for a moment, then clapped his hands and pointed to one of the students. "Okay. Now you. Name, sailing experience, favorite pirate. Go."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ah! They were all there on a large sailing vessel, on the open (fake) sea, there had been an incredible story of a truly ruthless and successful pirate, and now there were to be introductions! There were even some people in the class he had not met yet to make the introduction that much more viable, although, feeling terribly proud of this for some reason, the instructor was not one of them!

"Hello!" he started out brightly, somehow managing to not bounce too much from foot to foot in his eagerness. "I am Sidon!" And, of course, he pumped his fist heartily across his chest and flashed his most brilliant, toothy smile, and, no, he would never, ever grow tired of doing that. "The Zora Prince! My sailing experience is a little limited, as I usually don't bother with boats when I'm out to sea," he chuckled a bit, finding that to be terribly clever "but I'm always thrilled to learn new things and I have taken a ship course at this school before ~~I think??~~. It can never hurt for one to improve their skills, after all, especially when those skills are rather new and novel!

"And as for my favorite pirate," if you thought Sidon's grin was big before, oh, boy, just you wait until he finished this doozy, "why, she just so happens to be right here on this fine vessel with us! How could I absolutely, positively choose anyone other than the adventurous, the audacious, the ceaselessly cunning and splendidly radiant thief of my very own heart, none other than the stealthy and sensational Vette! I can hardly see how any other pirate can even begin to compare!"

It was true that Vette was pretty much the only pirate Sidon knew of ~~because I'll be fucked before I try to make sense of the supposed LoZ timeline~~ , but he didn't believe a detail like that should make his statements any less applicable.

Also, it was Sidon in a class with Vette. Completely unashamed and unabashed bouts of adoring praise were gonna happen, might as well just get used to it.

Was Vette turning a very fetching shade of purple? You BET Vette was turning a very fetching shade of purple, laughing softly and burying her face in her hand.

She was muttering something under her breath in Ryl that might or might not have amounted to a simple, "oh no."

That was quite possibly the most fetching shade of purple that Sidon had ever seen, and a reaction like that could only make his radiant smile brighter with pride as he chuckled.

"Ah, yes," he added with a wink, "how could I have failed to mention that, on top of all those marvelous and admirable traits, she is also so wonderfully, charmingly modest as well?"

Hopefully, no one had started to feel a bit seasick, because this was probably not going to help.

"That's . . ." So sweet it was sickening. ". . . very nice, your, uh. Highness." Pun very much intended. "Seriously. Very romantic. I gotta know you understand what a pirate is, though. There anything particularly pirate-y your girl's done? Other than steal your heart?"

And there, in that moment, as Sidon opened his mouth and took a deep breath as if ready to launch into another rousing bout of acolades for his piratical paramour, he realized a bit too late the potential problems with singing the praises of this particular aspect of Vette's perfectly incredible self.

"Well," he said, switching over to a decidedly more diplomatic approach, "the details of her accomplishments in this particular field, I feel, would be much more appropriately disclosed from the source herself, if she so desired to reveal such exploits. They are, after all, her stories to tell. But I can attest to the fact that her strength and fortitude and experience would place her firmly in competition with even some of the most incredible examples you have to offer."

And the cool, steady resolve of dedication to that point was not quite as boisterious as the lovesick fool he'd been just a moment ago, but it was absolutely no less intense.

But the grin surfaced very soon after, unable to be held back for too long as he added, "I assure you, the complete capturing of a Zora heart is but a small fleck of a rupee on the dazzling mountain of her successes, and it will hardly be her last."

The seriousness swept back in again, as if ebbing and flowing with a tine. "Of course, with such a shining example to lead the way, I already have a fantastic model to follow in the concepts of piracy, but I'm sure there is a significant more to learn. That would be where this class comes in, now, wouldn't it? I shall need all the help I can receive, if I'm to ever even begin to dream about keeping up! Proper piracy is hardly the something they typically teach to princes."

Duke couldn't help but chuckle at all that. And briefly affect an exaggerated Irish accent. "Ach, but ya do have the gift for gab, don'tcha, boy-o."

He shook his head, returning to his native Mainer accent. "That's good, you don't want to go accidentally ratting out your shipmates -- or loves. And you especially shouldn't go telling tales on someone who's both." Evi. "After all, 'dead men tell no tales' is a pirate cliche for a reason."

So You Want to Be a Pirate!, Wednesday, period two

Re: Introduce yourselves

Re: Introduce yourselves

Re: Introduce yourselves

Re: Introduce yourselves

Re: Introduce yourselves

Re: Introduce yourselves