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The Ever Changing Facets of Reality, 2nd Period - Monday

Class was done up to look like entrance to a mansion. But a pretty tacky mansion, you know? The sort that could be rented out for filming purposes.

Good lighting setup.

"Welcome, welcome bachelors and bachelorettes," Wade said in his very best host voice. "You'll be competing for the hand of a nebulous individual who has no real personality to speak of, but is here to find love with strangers on television."

"At the end of the class, all but one of you will be handed a rose, and the last person will go back to being tragically single," Vanessa said. "Now, this is the first week, and in school as in reality television, that means you have to introduce yourself to the audience. That's us. We're the audience."

"So, name, age, occupation, hometown, and why you're here for the right reasons and not just to get that sweet, sweet fame. Or, alternately, why you're clearly here to play the villain of the season." Wow, Wade sure knew a lot about this franchise.

"Remember, you're not here to make friends," Vanessa added. "That's very important."

Wade clapped his hands together excitedly. "Now let's get to those limo exits!"

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Wondering what the ever living hell you signed up for.

You really gotta make a good impression to get that rose, kids. Otherwise you've just made a fool of yourself on national television.

Wait to receive a rose based on your first impressions. Which isn't an ideal method of finding love, but why mess with the formula?

It's Hunger Games up in this shit!

Who were harsh, harsh judges.

Did you know they made a terrible rap video for this show?

Edited 2019-09-02 12:56 (UTC)

Prince Sidon

Sidon was....terribly confused, and also terribly cramped inside that limo. But he supposed this was the assignment for the day and he did rather love entrances, so, despite his confusion, he would certainly try his best to give the best introduction he possibly could under these circumstances!

So getting out of the limo had been just as fun and graceful for him as getting into it, but after that bit of awkwardness (which, really, could only be expected), he turned everything on to its full wattage as only Sidon could do.

"Hello!" he said, maybe looking around slightly because he wasn't even terribly sure ~~which camera was his~~ where he was supposed to be sending this greeting, but, once he picked a spot, he was all toothy grin and well-timed sparkles at the end of his fangs. "I am Sidon!" Fist Pump! Biggest sparkle-smile yet! One might have even heard a helpful little ping on that one! "The Zora Prince! I am seventy-seven years old, by last count, and, as the title may suggest, I am a prince! Of Zora's Domain, which is settled in the jeweled Lanayru Mountains of Hyrule! And I am not sure why I'm here, except that I was signed up for this class, because I assure you, I certainly will not be looking for love, as I have already found love, and I have every intention of keeping it! But this still looks like it will be...fun?"

You know it was bad when even Sidon wasn't sure about that.

"You know, the enthusiasm is good," Wade said, indiscriminately checking something off on a clip board. Was it a real list of things? Who really knew? "But you gotta keep the girlfriend a secret until you win the game and the lies are revealed to the country."

"Oh, no," said Sidon, with a disapproving frown and a shake of his head. "I absolutely couldn't! Keep her a secret? When nearly every fiber of my being cries out to sing her praises all across the entire multiverse? I think not, my fellow red friend! A game that would require such a condition for victory is a game I have no desire to win!"

But he still looked a bit thoughtful.

"Though I will be happy to play along as best I can, since that is the assignment."

He was gonna be so, so good at it, too....

Theron Shan

"Theron."

Maybe they'd think he was brooding and mysterious instead of sarcastic and socially avoidant.

Ulysses Zane

"You know, I feel like I can trust you despite all the clear warning signs that you just laid out there," Wade replied with a sage nod. He was really channeling the Bachelor here. "You just might be a shoe-in for a first impression rose."

"Theron, I'm gonna need that again, the cameras weren't rolling." He'd keep saying that until he got the answer he wanted.

Oh good, this school experience was still insisting on making no fucking sense at all. Cool, cool. Ulysses was super fine with it. Super fine.

His limo exit was... not smooth. That was the kindest way to put it. "Uhhh." Sorry, he'd never had to do this for a class before. "I'm Ulysses, and I'm a student, and I'm here to... To, um, to learn?"

Lame, God.

"How to love again after having your heart broken previously?" Wade suggested. Because that was a damn good trope too.

Shuri

"I'm Shuri," Shuri said archly, "and I'm from Wakanda, which would normally make me very exotic and interesting, but we have Prince Sidon on this...show--" look at her going with this insanity like it wasn't that insane. It was her third class with Wade and Vanessa, after all. "--so I'm not even the only member of royalty. I am definitely looking for love because it will make my brother lose his mind."

Big smile. "Oh, I'm sixteen, and I run the engineering department for my nation, and my brother is king."

"And we have our final two! Right here," Wade said, pointing between Sidon and Shuri. "Final four at the very least. Gotta get to hometowns so we get to go to Wakanda. I'm legally allowed to say that now."

Thanks, Disney!

Don't ask, Shuri. Don't ask.

"You couldn't legally say Wakanda before?"

Wade nodded along with it because it made total sense, Shuri!

"But now I'm one of the few properties they're keeping. Sorry not sorry, Cable spin-off."

"Theron. Seventeen. Student. I don't have one." That's what happened when you were the secret love child of a Jedi war hero, you got born on some anonymous planet with no birth record. "Not to make friends."

Clearly, that included you, Wade.

"Oooo! Mysterious," Wade said, totally ignoring the not so subtle hints to leave him alone. "And look at that! We were filming that time. See? Not so hard."

Janet Kim

...You know what, fine.

"I'm Janet, and I'm sixteen, from Toronto. I'm definitely here for the right reasons."

What were the right reasons?

....Ummm. What were the right reasons here? It was a class.

Janet... was wondering what happened if someone didn't get a rose. So she definitely looked interested for the camera.

"Right," Shuri said, looking even more confused.

Shuri wondered what would happen if she feigned a flower allergy.

"Get up there, front runner," Wade said, waving off all that confusing. "I'm rooting for you to win, you crazy kid."

"Oooo, a fellow Canadian. I mean, it's not exactly exotic, but it could be niche," Wade said. "And it's good to hear that you're here for the right reasons. Everyone should just automatically say it."

"Yay," Shuri said. "Oh, to win the affections of a generic white guy, probably."

Shuri was still getting a goddamn rose. Everyone was getting a goddamn rose because they couldn't kick people out of the class each week.

"So, the hybrid Bachelor/ette is busy getting drunk, but here's a rose for making it through this first class. You might have it in you to win the grand prize at the end."

There was no grand prize.

"Janet... you get a rose because you were the first person to show up in this part of the OCD."

What?

"His name's probably Brad. Or Chad. Tadd? Yeah, something like that." It was the perfect name to give T'Challa an aneurysm.

"Oh, I can practically hear him talking about his dad's law firm from here," Shuri said with a shudder. "Delightful. I suppose it could be worse--he could be some horrifying name like Thaddeus Something Something the Fourth and expects us all to call him Skippy with a straight face."

"The prize isn't a fish, right?" Shuri checked. "Because I heard about last summer."

Owen Corley

Illyana Rasputin

"Illyana, sixteen, uh, most recently from New York," she said, clearly confused. "I have no idea what's going on here?"

Illyana was still confused, but whatever. She could stand here looking bored, and be ready to run like hell the moment class was released.

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The Ever Changing Facets of Reality, 2nd Period - Monday

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