fandomhigh | Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/01].

A pixelated Summer stood in front of a pixelated kitchen with a bounty of pixelated bananas before her on the counter, with....sort of..a pixelated grin on her face. "Hey, everyone," she started, once she figured anyone who was going to make it all the way up to their mushroom-lifted school, like, what?, was there. Apparently, everything being on tall mushrooms wasn't going to stop her from teaching a class. Getting up here had been a good test of the work she'd been doing on that spaceship.

"So, this class, as you know, was designed to highlight the versitility of the banana, but this week is really highlighting the fact that one of the great things about the banana is that, no matter what the res on your reality may be, it's still pretty easy to pick a banana out as a banana, thanks to its bright color and distinct shape.

"The same," she continued, a bit wryly, "can't be said for other foodstuffs. And while it is tempting to just whip something up with bananas and mushrooms, which seems to be the staple foodstuff in this particular reality, we've all got enough stuff to deal with this week, so we're just going to stick with a classic that exists in mostly basic shapes and colors: banana split sundaes."

Actual food you can enjoy eating! Unless, she supposed, you were lactose-intolerant, which she should have thought about since she was, apparently, last week, but whatever.

"It's pretty easy. Cut your banana lengthwise so it can sit nicely in your little ice cream dish, pick out a few scoops of very obviously ice cream onto it, maybe drizzle with hot fudge, add some nuts and sprinkles, which you can mostly identify as such even without detail, I've even got whipped cream and cherries for you guys. Make it looks much like a sundae as you can, and then that's it. Chill out and enjoy them as long as you want for the rest of class, unless you're eager to get back out there and jump on platforms, I don't know, I won't judge. Any questions?"

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"I don't fucking know!" said Wayne, on the very edge of shouting, which was earning him at least a biiit of a side-eye from the teacher who was really, really hoping she didn't have to break up a fight in her classroom over egg ice cream and tomato-fish pancakes, what??? "All's I fucking know is that you don't make fucking pancakes with tomatoes and fucking shellfish!"

"There's no need to get so mad at me about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Nina protested, getting riled up in response because, being real, Nina was never the calmest of people in the first place.

"I didn't do anything wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't help how we cook back home and we make pancakes with tomatoes and shellfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And we make ice cream with just eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the yelling at me isn't going to change how it works in my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ohhhhhhkay. Summer figured she'd better jump in at this point before things escalated into more than just excessive exclamation marks and frustrated red squiggly lines dancing over people's heads.

Especially once Wayne opened his mouth to make a rebuttal, and Summer swiftly cut him off.

"Wayne," she said, in that firm voice she had to use sometimes with her dad or her grampa, which said a lot about Jerry and Rick, that they were about the same level as a petulant, stubborn sixteen-year-old year old. "Chill out, or go take a walk! You're really going to sit there, all covered in pixels, and still get all butthurt about a world where tomatoes go in pancakes? Like savory pancakes aren't even a thing? It's not even that weird, you were putting sardines in bananas last week. Come on!"

...oh, god, she was being such a teacher right now. It was super gross but also kind of thrilling.

With a grunt, Wayne looked at Nina, then looked at Ms. Smith, and then back at Nina, each glance consisting of a sharp turn of his head in that direction. And then, with a much more subtle shift of his head, glanced toward someone else in the class.

It was impolite to yell at girls, and he was going to be outnumbered on that front, besides. So if his options were to chill or take a walk....he was going to go take that fucking walk.

So, after one more pixelated glare and making a firm point of turning away from the discussion and toward the door, Wayne went ahead and stomped out of the classroom, shoulders squared, thumbs tucked into his belt loops.

He was lactose intolerant, anyway!

And Nina, beacon of maturity that she was, stuck her tongue out at him as he left.

Hmph.

"I wasn't making anything up," she said, half-way between petulant and grumpy herself. "It's not my fault he didn't like the answers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Summer just sort of sighed and shook her head and figured this was all probably the better end to all this, anyway, so the rest of them could just enjoy their ice cream in peace.

But she did pass a sympathetic look over toward Nina, though, because, god, if she hadn't been fifteen and impressionable and kind of a people-pleaser herself at one point.

"I wouldn't worry about it too much," she offered. "You can't help other people's attitudes, especially when they're bad."

But after this week and last, Summer...might be a little worried about what might happen with Wayne next week. He might just riot. Burn the whole place down...

But then she couldn't help tilting her head a little curiously.

"...tomatoes, shellfish, and sugar to make pancakes, though, huh?...really?"

Looks like someone had a new way to torture the staff at Luke's on Sunday now. Mwa ha ha!

"I usually like Wayne," Nina said, a bit plaintively, then shook her head, told herself firmly to worry about it later (she was going to worry about it later, what if he didn't like her any longer?) and focused on the rest of what Summer was saying.

"Yes," she said, nodding firmly. "And you, like, can't forget the sugar!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you forget the sugar, you'll wind up with pizza, and that's delicious, but that's definitely not perfect, fluffy pancakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Retro Recipes: This Sh*t is Bananas; First Period [08/01].

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.

Re: Make your Banana Split Sundaes - RR, 08/01.