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Practical Philosophy, Thursday

"This weekend, I hear many of you experienced prospective futures," Ender said, his mouth quirking. "I feel like I have to assure you all, if you haven't been through this already, that none of these are fixed or even certain."

They'd moved to the edge of the pond, as he'd told Sidon he would do. Though this week, it probably wasn't as necessary as it had been. Ah well.

"They can be useful lessons in what to do or to avoid," he continued. "Something you shouldn't do, or someone you shouldn't push out of your life, no matter how tempting it might seem at the time." Not that he'd had any experience with this or no. "Of course, they can also be ridiculous twists of fate. Or a place you'd like to wind up. Whatever the case, there's always something to learn, I feel."

He looked into the group.

"What was your weekend like? Were you older, or yourself, or not present at all? Do you feel it means something, can you find any instruction on it, or did you experience it as a load of nonsense?" A pause. "I wouldn't fault anyone who did."

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Older.

Norman Babcock

Prince Sidon

Nina

Shuri

Keyleth

Juillenne Milone (and Camden)

Lana Beniko

Get settled, eat a sandwich, eye that pond.

Norman was going to take a sandwich, naturally, and definitely eye that pond, though somewhat thoughtfully. He hadn't changed over the weekend, and had really only been aware of anything happening over it because of the radio.

The joys of being a serious introvert, he supposed?

And even though Sidon truly did appreciate the slight relocation, this was absolutely a week where the call of the water had been delightfully satiated and he wanted nothing more than to be as much a part of the group as possible. So he would be simply trying to make it a little less obvious that sitting was not particularly natural to him as he settled in, while already contemplating the sort of things he might wish to contribute to the discussion.

Nina was kind of over the whole, like, water thing at this point but she did like this class so by the time he was done she was a lot more interested in considering his questions than in anything else.

She wasn't eating a sandwich though, out of fear that they'd be, like, soggy.

Lana got a sandwich and settled, but she was contemplating the weekend more than paying attention to the food.

About the weekend. Or about anything else at all.

Sidon was very thoughtful before he felt he'd finally collected his ideas in a way that he felt would communicate them best, and he smiled a little bit at the others before he spoke, especially...certain people. Norman. Nina.

"The Zora race," he began, "is one that lives for hundreds of years. Twenty years, then, is such a small sliver of time for us that I barely felt any different over the weekend, with the exception of having achieved another growth spurt and the...knowledge of how much can actually happen in twenty years, especially with those who age at a much more human-standard rate. I..." He, who found himself always so eloquent and found words so easy, paused again, as this was harder than he expected. "Because we live longer than any race on Hyrule, we are always aware of this...discrepncy in time, that those we may love or care for will age at an almost startling rate compared to ourselves, but...that awareness does not always lend itself to being actually prepared to see it, to witness it. It's all a bit...strange, really. To think that, if it were twenty years after the twenty, there would be fewer familiar faces still. And twenty years after that, hardly any. And twenty years after that..."

It wasn't like he hadn't thought of all this before; he most certainly had, especially in light of his discussion with Vette about it, brief as it may have been. But the weekend made it all the more present in his mind.

To be a Zora engaged in the world was to be a creature that found love and loss as natural as the ebb and flow of the tides.

Norman listened to Sidon speak, and smiled faintly, a little wryly. He hadn't changed over the weekend, no, but being able to see ghosts kind of gave a little perspective, from the other end of things.

"It can be hard," he admitted, "I mean... knowing that we really don't have much time. Maybe a hundred years if we're lucky, you know? But that's what makes it important to fit as much living as we can in, while we can do it. That's a regret I hear often... not enough living, while they were still alive. But in the end, nobody knows how long they're going to really have. Not even Zora, right? So you have to make memories worth taking with you."

Taking with you through the rest of your life, or beyond it. He'd leave that up to individual interpretation.

"Not even Zora," Sidon agreed softly, with a faint, almost appreciative smile, to hear that from Norman, who understood that better than almost anyone here, "that's correct. So we really must make the most of what we have while we have it, and be incredibly grateful for what we have, because the future is so preciously unknown! All we truly have is the here and now."

Norman gave a little nod at that.

"And... it'll hurt. A lot of things are going to hurt. It can be just as hard for people to go as it is for people to be left behind. But..." He shrugged. "If you outlive the rest of us by hundreds of years, that's hundreds of years of memories to share when it's your turn to join us, maybe."

"I do rather enjoy telling stories," Sidon noted, a bit wistfully,his grin toothy and sharp, as he pumped a fist across his chest. "And I have every intention of making the ones I'll have the privilege to collect over the centuries well worth the wait!"

"Something for us all to look forward to," Norman offered. "Stories. Memories. And a whole lot of living."

Nina wasn't... really sure what to make of that smile, really, and Sidon's words left her unsettled too.

It sounded awful to be left behind, over and over, simply because the people you loved didn't live that long. And that wasn't even accounting for them dying early. And she wasn't stupid. It was slowly becoming more and more obvious that, no matter what the future was, for some reason, like, she was never around for them.

So... so she didn't know what to say to Sidon's words, though she listened to them and offered him a glance back, so he'd know she heard.

"How does that make you feel?" Ender asked, his voice going gentle.

He had an inkling of what the answer would be, but anything that made Sidon sound like this deserved some space to breathe.

Sidon looked at Ender, his head tilted slightly, to denote that he had heard the question, but it might take him a moment to really think about what the answer might truly be. With a topic such as this, one which he rarely talked about despite it being ever-present in his mind, he wanted to actually take his time and sort through it as well as he could.

"I feel," he finally offered, "as though a summary of those emotions is rather difficult, as there exists a great many of them, and quite a few of them feel a bit contradictory, so I suppose the most accurate word would simply be...unbalanced. I feel quite...sad, that I should only have such a small amount of time with some, but incredibly grateful and honored that I should be a part of those lives. I feel frustrated when it seems as though others don't use what little they have well...and pride and excitement and hope for those that seize every adventure and live each second as though it may be their last, as we never know! Perhaps it may be! And we'll want to make that last moment as spectacular and memorable as wel can!"

He flashed an excited grin at that, his fists balled up with the eagerness of his words, but, like that ebb and flow, it receeded a little again with his conclusion. Just a little, though.

"I suppose sometimes it seems terribly unfair, as well," he admitted, "that I should have so much life and others have so little. But that is why what I think I admire most in a person is the ability to squeeze as much life out of what time they have, however long that may be. Whether we live to be fifty or a hundred or five hundred and fifty, we mustn't ever let it go to waste!"

"I think we can all agree with that," Ender said, mouth curving. "Though now I wonder how you define 'using life well'..."

And that toothy grin sparked right back up to full wattage, this time with an eager laugh. "Oh, well, that's easy!" he declared. "Using life well means pursuing adventures! It means experiencing new and thrilling thing and sharing them with people you love! It means protecting the weak, supporting the strong, and turning even the darkest moments brighter whenever you can! It's bringing happiness and joy to people who need it, but also to people who have plenty, but it never hurts to have more! It's never backing down from a challenge and always giving one-hundred-and-ten percent! And taking every moment you have and cherishing it as though it may be your very last!"

Ender listened while Sidon spoke, nodding along easily.

He waited until Sidon was done - and then reached for a bottle of water.

"Don't you think that's a very limited conception of what makes life valuable?"

And Sidon had to think about that question a little, though most of it was making sure he'd heard it correctly, as he found it so befuddling that he was almost certain he'd misheard it somehow. To him, it didn't make a whole lot of sense.

"How could it be," he asked, "when it encompasses so much?"

To him, even going to the common room for a bite to eat was an adventure. The net he'd cast was...generous, to say the least.

"Would it encompass a woman who goes to the same job, 9-to-5, for thirty years so she can pay the bills for her family?" Ender said. "Or the man who declines a call for an exciting foreign job placement because she needs to stay home to care for her ailing mother?"

"Ahhh, yes," said Sidon, gaining his smile again, albeit a soft one. "I understand what you mean now, and, yes, of course it encompasses all of that. It would be rather foolish to believe that adventures are all excitement and fun; some of the best adventures involve the most grueling and heartbreaking trials...as those are usually the ones with the greatest rewards! So, allow me to pose a question to you in return: does this woman who must grind away so much of her time and energy in a stable, steady occupation find joy in seeing her family taken care of because of her hard work and sacrifice? Is she able, even if it may feel like a dreadful slog, still able to find some enjoyment in the work she does, even if that enjoyment is just the satisfaction of knowing her children are cared for? If not, then, it may sound harsh, but no, this vision does not encompass her, and I cannot feel bad for it, because one who cannot even appreciate the reason for which they do what they do are beyond help, and I shall not waste my time with those who refuse to see beyond their own misery.

"And as for the other example," he added, a bit more softly, "that is not an easy decision to make, to weigh out the advantages of an opportunity with the ability to spend more time with a love one. I believe that is still living life well. There shall always be more opportunities ahead, albeit likely different ones, but, going back to the original point of this discussion, our time here is limited, and unpredictable. Remaining to care for a faltering loved one falls firmly in the category of cherishing what moments we have while we still have them."

Nina, honestly, didn't really like to think about the future too hard, but this class sort of meant she was supposed to and the teacher was, like, kind of comforting even though he asked the hard questions.

So maybe she was a little more okay thinking about things she didn't want to, here, and saying them. Especially after Sidon was brave enough to say his bit.

"It's nice to know that, like, nothing's... set in stone, when it comes to the future things," she admitted. "But it's also, like, I haven't existed for any of them. Which makes me a little... worried???????"

Scared? Anxious?

"I can imagine," Ender said. "Do you think it's a warning?"

Nina considered that. It wasn't like the work she did for Lady Teresa and Lord Shin was the safest line of work...

But it also wasn't like she'd just be willing to give it up.

"If it is," she said, "then, like, it's not a very good one?????????? I could be killed crossing a street, you know??????????"

Ender laughed softly. "Good point," he said. "And for all we know, it's just the island withholding some greater or lesser destiny from you. It wouldn't be the first time."

Edited 2019-05-25 11:40 (UTC)

"I wasn't here," Shuri said, frowning. "I just assumed I was back in Wakanda and didn't make the trip, but that was probably not a conclusion I should have jumped to."

"It's probably the one that's easiest on your peace of mind," Ender said wryly.

"I didn't think this class was supposed to be easy," Shuri teased back.

"It wasn't," Ender agreed, "Which is why sometimes it's worthwhile to examine if you're inclined to instinctively take the easy path in circumstances like this."

"I... didn't realize anything strange had gone on at all," Juillenne admitted. "I spent the weekend out in the Preserve."

More accurately, she'd spent the weekend trying to row away from the island. It hadn't worked.

"And was it peaceful out in the Preserve?" Ender said. "It's usually nice this time of year."

"I was an older version of myself," Lana said. "I don't remember much, but some of the things were good and some weren't. I suppose that's to be expected." She was still processing a lot of it.

"Sounds like life," Ender said, "In a carefully curated and vague sense."

She didn't need to elaborate if she had to, but he had to ask-- "Was there anything that surprised you?"

"A few things," Lana said. "I don't remember much about them, though. I think...I was working with people I hadn't expected to, and some bad things had happened, but..."

She sighed. "I imagine it's better not knowing my entire future, but it's still maddening."

"You 'imagine' it's better - you prefer knowledge?" Ender asked.

"I always prefer knowledge," Lana said firmly. "But knowing everything that was going to happen to me for the next twenty years, even if it's only a possibility, could be stifling."

That's why he's here.

Moderately amused to be doing this right after switching to Ender's 20-years-later icons permanently.

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