Anakin Skywalker (
sith_happened) wrote in
fandomhigh2019-03-15 10:40 am
Entry tags:
Practical Diplomacy, Friday, March 15, 2019
"A great deal of mental energy in diplomacy is devoted to managing personalities and their professional interests to stop conflicts before they begin," Anakin said, rolling his eyes, "because people, by and large, are petty and kind of dumb."
Thanks for that optimistic appraisal, Anakin.
"Today you'll have to set this table," he said, gesturing to it, "with the complete compliment of dishes, glasses, and silverware for a diplomatic function." He rolled his eyes again. "Which is a complete waste of energy and silverware, but sometimes the trappings really matter." He then took the students through a formal place setting with obvious knowledge but complete impatience for the entire thing.
Obi-Wan had despaired of teaching him this part.
"To make your lives easier for this exercise, we'll say that you will be joined at this table with only seven other people," Anakin said, holding up namecards. "Let me tell you about them, and then you decide where they sit in order to have the most interesting evening that will not involve someone dumping their water glass on someone else."
Your guests were:
1&2) A very talkative ex-head of state and his husband. The husband was a gardening enthusiast, and they had both traveled extensively throughout the galaxy. The husband had a shellfish allergy.
3) A female shellfish industry CEO who hated flowers.
4&5) Missionaries from a nearby planet who were looking to convert the local population to their religion. News stories recently talked about their sect's foray into fish sacrifice, which had greatly impressed the locals, but one of their main religious tenets spoke against same-gender partnerships.
6) A diplomat from an allied planet. Charming, smooth to talk to--had a tendency to get handsy if he drank too much.
7) A cultural attache from a non-allied planet. Clearly a spy, but no one says so. Hates you personally. His views on fish are unknown.
"Tell me who sits where and why," he said.
Thanks for that optimistic appraisal, Anakin.
"Today you'll have to set this table," he said, gesturing to it, "with the complete compliment of dishes, glasses, and silverware for a diplomatic function." He rolled his eyes again. "Which is a complete waste of energy and silverware, but sometimes the trappings really matter." He then took the students through a formal place setting with obvious knowledge but complete impatience for the entire thing.
Obi-Wan had despaired of teaching him this part.
"To make your lives easier for this exercise, we'll say that you will be joined at this table with only seven other people," Anakin said, holding up namecards. "Let me tell you about them, and then you decide where they sit in order to have the most interesting evening that will not involve someone dumping their water glass on someone else."
Your guests were:
1&2) A very talkative ex-head of state and his husband. The husband was a gardening enthusiast, and they had both traveled extensively throughout the galaxy. The husband had a shellfish allergy.
3) A female shellfish industry CEO who hated flowers.
4&5) Missionaries from a nearby planet who were looking to convert the local population to their religion. News stories recently talked about their sect's foray into fish sacrifice, which had greatly impressed the locals, but one of their main religious tenets spoke against same-gender partnerships.
6) A diplomat from an allied planet. Charming, smooth to talk to--had a tendency to get handsy if he drank too much.
7) A cultural attache from a non-allied planet. Clearly a spy, but no one says so. Hates you personally. His views on fish are unknown.
"Tell me who sits where and why," he said.

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