fandomhigh | Practical Diplomacy, Friday, January 4, 2019

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practical diplomacy

Practical Diplomacy, Friday, January 4, 2019

The class would find themselves in the Danger Shop, which had been set up like a diplomatic reception: drinks in the back of a too large, too bright, room with much too long a line; a variety of languages being spoken with various degrees of expertise; waitstaff circulating with varieties of mid-level snacks on tiny skewers (and no, they don't know what they are either); and people standing in pairs, singles, and small groups looking uncomfortable.

"Welcome to a networking opportunity," Anakin said, making a slight face, "otherwise known as roughly 40 percent of your life as a diplomat. Today's assignment is to introduce yourself to three people in this room, including me, exchange business cards--" he passed them out to every student as he continued speaking, "and come away with three ways to remember who they are for the next reception."

He smiled a little evilly. "Because there will be a next reception."

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"No," Vette replied, looking seriously weirded out by the prospect. "Wait, is that why humans wax things?!"

And there went the point, careening right past the both of them now, courtesy of the weirdest throwaway Vette flavour dialogue in the whole MMO.

"Yes," Anakin said. "Wait. Why did you think they did it?"

Vette squinted a little.

"Feels good? Leaves your skin all nice? Smooth, you know?" She paused. "... Because the hair is all gone? That's why? Ew!"

Why were humans so weird!?

"Yeah," Anakin said dryly. "It's peculiar."

"I'm never going to be able to unsee that now," Vette complained. "Just these strips of wax with little hairs stuck to them."

Were the guests who had been talking about the hairdresser looking uncomfortable yet?

"Lots of little hairy strips!"

Pass the appetizers!

"Well, I assume they get thrown out eventually," Anakin said.

"Well, good," Vette decided, looking speculatively over at the sim-guests. "Just so long as nobody's saving them up or anything. I don't know how hair works. Maybe people sell that stuff or something."

Who would even buy it?

Anakin made a face. "What would it get used for? Ew."

"Wigs," Vette said immedaitely. "For Hutts."

Hutts were disgusting and she'd put nothing past them.

Anakin burst out laughing. "The mental image," he chortled. "Worse than the current American president, and that is saying something."

"I should be thankful I don't care one bit about the politics of this world, right?"

She would be horrified and morbidly fascinated to see that particular shade of orange on a human.

"Because let me tell ya, I've already had more than my share of Hutts, thanks."

"Knowing one Hutt is more than enough of anyone's share of Hutts," Anakin muttered.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Vette replied, nodding seriously. If she never had to work for one again, it would still be too soon. "Anyway," she pulled out a card and presented it to him. "That's pretty downer conversation for a party, right? But if you ever want to chat about it more, here's where you can find me."

Smooth! Right?

Taunt would be trying not to laugh at her right now, hands-down.

Anakin snorted. "So your go-to conversation starter is hair removal, then Hutts?" he teased.

"Hey, I go for what's there," Vette chirped. "It worked, didn't it?"

It was possible the other people within earshot did not agree.

"Probably just the once," Anakin said.

"It only needed to work the once," Vette pointed out. "Just so long as the next thing I pick works, too."

"So your plan for networking is winging it?" Anakin asked, arching up an eyebrow.

"My plan for networking is assessing the situation and approaching each one with a response tailored to what that situation calls for," Vette replied, demonstrating, quite primly, that she was nothing if not gifted at, yes, winging it.

Anakin laughed. "So, winging it."

"Absolutely winging it."

Vette couldn't deny it forever.

"But I intend to be good at it."

"I'll teach you how," Anakin said. "I'm a huge fan of winging it."

Which was why he'd made such amazing choices! Or soemthing!

"Great! I look forward to learning," Vette informed him. "I will be so diplomatic, you'll see."

You could tell what kind of diplomat she was aiming for just by taking note of the fact that one of her other classes this semester was about Civil Disobedience.

So.

Anakin snorted. "There are a lot of different ways to be diplomatic. I did it with a lightsaber."

Not diplomacy, Anakin. At all.

"I don't have a lightsaber," Vette noted. "But twenty credits says I can do it with two blasters, instead."

Practical Diplomacy, Friday, January 4, 2019

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