fandomhigh | Badass Women You Should Know- Monday- 2nd period

Entry tags:

well behaved women

Badass Women You Should Know- Monday- 2nd period

Today the class was in the classroom, handouts ready on the students' desks when they arrived, and there was Brooke, looking a little old fashioned.

"Good morning, class!" she greeted them, pleasantly. "Today I'd like you to refer to the guides that I left for you for a moment, and then we'll discuss how to find a husband. I'm sure you know how important that is in this day and age, and we're going to discuss which of these ideas would work for you personally. I expect you to try at least a few of these methods before the next class, and I'd like to answer any questions you may have."

Was this some kind of experiment, maybe? Brooke was trying to teach them a lesson about feminism by giving them something this insane?

Nope, it was totally a gremlin bite.

Or was it?

(It was.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Your best face forward!

Astrid Magnussen

Vette

Paris Geller

Breq

Look through the list! Which methods would you use to get a man? How many short vacations can you go in a week?

Vette stared at the teacher, and then squinted at the list, quite happy to throw herself into trying to read that rather than worrying about the way her weekend had gone.

She wasn't talking about her weekend. Don't anybody even ask.

"I... I like that first one?"

Fortunately, she already seemed to have an actual prince who was maybe a little taken with her, for space-only-knew-what-reason. But now she kind of wanted a dog anyway.

"Very good!" Brooke said encouragingly. "And if he gets to know your dog, it'll make it easier for him when you need him to walk it for you!"

No.

"Like... if he's dogsitting while I'm off doing a job somewhere?"

Vette was trying, here. She really was.

While also trying not to look too dubious.

"Why, you're a funny one, aren't you?" Brooke laughed. "Of course, if by 'doing a job' you mean 'taking care of the house and children,' but we all know that's not really work."

~~Help~~

Vette's mouth actually fell open a little at that.

~~The mun, meanwhile, was just wheezing with laughter.~~

"No, I mean... a job, away, like a," she waved a hand around vaguely. "A business trip."

Sure, that was what she did. Business trips.

"Why, silly, men go on the business trips," Brooke told her. "Sometimes for long stretches of time, and you mustn't ask too many questions."

"Why not? Will I not like the answers?"

Because the kind of men who would give her answers she wouldn't like were probably the kind of men Vette was taking her 'business trips' to go screw over in the first place.

"It's simply not the woman's place, when the man is clearly working hard to provide for his family, and asking would be rude," Brooke pointed out.

"But what if I'm asking because I'm showing a genuine interest in his hard work and trying to demonstrate that I appreciate all the effort he's putting in?"

Vette was rolling with this, now. You know, as someone who could actually use a few of these things on jobs in the future...

Brooke blinked.

"I don't understand the question."

Vette blinked back.

"What if... I'm asking," she said carefully, "so that I can gush all over him about what a great job he's doing, or so I can brag about my wonderful man to all of my friends when we get together to darn our men's socks together?"

Or whatever ladies did.

"No one will want to hear the gory details," Brooke told her. "You just tell them he works in insurance, or sales, or advertising. Or if you're really lucky, business! They'll know how wonderful he is."

"Mine," Vette declared, at least halfway because it was literally true and halfway because she was absolutely taking the piss out of the poor gremlin victim, "is a total prince."

"There you go!" Brooke grinned. "Why, you barely need my help!"

Vette looked at the list, and a very sly look crossed her face as she struggled her way through a few more of the items on it.

"Barely," she agreed, "but I think all of these will be a great help."

Her weekend had sucked. She fully intended to take this horrible list and have a great time with it.

Considering Astrid had grown up in a household where the one big rule about dating was Never let a man stay the night (a rule that Ingrid notoriously broke, but who was Astrid to point that out?), she felt herself slide even further down into the deep pit of low regard she was already sitting in with her just by looking at this list, boggling slightly, because, yeah, this was definitely more weirdness or a gremlin bite or something like that, and so much for things just going back to normal after the weekend, huh?

But once she was able to get over her mild sense of horror about it, Astrid was able to consider it from the ridiculous standpoint where it belonged as she read over the list and scoffed quite a bit as she worked her way through it.

#6 was definitely a winner in her book. She could definitely see herself enjoying that pursuit a little more than she probably should.

And she might want to warn Sabine about #21.

By the time she got to the end, she had to ask, "Loose buttons? That's weird. You'd think loose buttons were a good thing; learn to sew on buttons, and then he'll never be able to leave you, because how else will his buttons stay on?"

She even managed to say that with a straight face, too!

"Loose buttons of course means he's irresponsible and doesn't take good care of things," Brooke explained. "Which is fine before you're married, what man doesn't play fast and loose sometimes? But if you haven't been able to change him by the time he's proposing marriage, then obviously you'll want to move on and find someone go takes care of his things. But quickly, because you're wasting your youth and beauty."

"So just youth, then," Astrid snorted wryly. "But that's okay, I'm from Hollywood, there's a plastic surgery clinic around every corner out there. But, fair enough, no loose buttons, at least not right before marriage."

"Oh. My. God."

Of course Paris's hand was up. "What is this?! Granted, I think my grandmother probably tried half of these but what?! I am not tracking down wealthy widowers. I'm 17."

"Exactly why you should!" Brooke insisted. "Why, get him early enough and you'll never have to work a day in your life!"

Ew.

"Ew," Paris said with feeling. "Also #24 is probably the most insulting thing I have ever read."

"Oh, no, it's not uinsting at all! After all, the more attractive girls can't have all of the good men! There are still plenty of options that won't feel like settling," Brooke assured her.

"Right, plus there's #17, where I should be a friend to ugly men," Paris said dryly. "Oh, look at all my options."

"Ugly men can still have money and provide you with the support you need to live!" Brooke said cheerfully. "And they may have attractive friends whose wives might die!"

"You're not secretly teaching us to poison rich men's wives to make them widowers, are you?" Paris checked.

"Of course not!" Brooke said. "A woman's place is in the kitchen, not a jail cell."

Paris blinked. "I'm sorry, our place is where?"

"The kitchen, of course! Also the living room, when it needs cleaning or there are guests to entertain," she added.

"Oh my God, what?"

"Language, dear," Brooke said.

"Is this what it feels like when your brain is going to explode?" Paris muttered.

"This is old fashioned, right?"

Of course Breq could have a hypothetical discussion about marriage, but it was good to know.

"What's the purpose of having a husband?"

Brooke loledck fised. "To support us women and our families, naturally!"

Uhhhh do you really want to, though?

This is all the fault of Fry, with an assist from Elaine, and please, please, for the love of god, let someone attempt to complete this assignment for next week.

I REGRET NOTHING.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Badass Women You Should Know- Monday- 2nd period

Sign In

Re: Sign In

Re: Sign In

Re: Sign In

Re: Sign In

Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Re: Discussion

Talk to Brooke

OOC

Re: OOC