The Circle of Life, Monday Third Period

[stickitupmyjinx]

"Hey, kids!" Vanessa said at the beginning of today's class. "Today we're going to talk about pregnancy, and how it sucks and is definitely something you should only do if you're an adult who's one hundred percent sure you want a kid! Did we cover that already? If we did, we're covering it some more, because it's super important!"

"Also, the pregnancy bellies we ordered finally came in while we were stuck in Greece," Wade added, already trying one on. Because that seemed like the thing to do.

"Also that!" Vanessa agreed. "Really excited to be back in the land of the internet and indoor plumbing! But for now, everybody grab a pregnancy belly and strap it on, and experience a little of what a woman experiences when she is nine months pregnant. Like, the weight, yes, but without the bonus of all your organs being displaced or a kid kicking you in the ribs while parked on your bladder." She wasn't going to even talk about the hemorrhoids because as someone who might possibly be pregnant at some point, she tried not to think about the hemorrhoids.

Wade would totally buy her one of those nice pillows for it at least. Which was nice.

"And the heartburn! Linda, from my mommy group on Facebook--" Don't question why he had a mommy group. "--said it's the worst thing ever. Maybe we should have bought the kids some Thai food for that."

"Plus if you're really lucky your boobs might be leaking milk already," Vanessa added, because, fun! "And, oh, what else am I forgetting? Does everyone have their belly on yet?"

"I already have to pee," Wade declared proudly.

"It's working! So what does everybody think of this experience? Fun, right? Definitely not something you want to do again any time soon?"

"Oh! Oh! Homework!" Yes, that was a thing they never did. "Wear it for the rest of the day or longer and then get back to use next week."

"If you wear it all week, you get, I don't know, extra credit? Let's go with that. You get extra credit."

They were awesome teachers.

Comments

Sign In

[stickitupmyjinx]

As you do.

Re: Sign In

[hashtag_chocobro]

Prompto Argentum

Re: Sign In

[midichlorianfail]

Theron Shan

During the Lecture

[stickitupmyjinx]

Did your teacher just mention boobs?

Re: During the Lecture

[hashtag_chocobro]

This class was always back and forth on something Prompto loved and something he hated, and this week was definitely firmly in the hated category.

He was not emotionally ready for this kind of thing, especially not coming off of an awesome vacation.

"I didn't think I'd ever say this," he stated, raising his hand, "but can we go back to the classes where we talk about killing people?"

Try on Your Pregnancy Belly!

[stickitupmyjinx]

Sucks, right? Enjoy it!

Re: Try on Your Pregnancy Belly!

[hashtag_chocobro]

...look. Prompto used to be a fat kid. This whole pregnancy belly thing was going to trigger some pretty emotional PTSD and probably make him pretty obsessed about how his thighs looked leading up into homecoming, thanks for that one, teachers. So he was maybe going to be a little disgruntled about this, and he was absolutely not wearing it anywhere outside of this classroom, and was already planning to use it merely as a cushion for his back when he played video games in his room later.

Re: Try on Your Pregnancy Belly!

[midichlorianfail]

"But I have a contraceptive implant."

Surely being responsible earned him an exemption from this? Or those issues about knowing he'd been an accident that he lied to himself about not having?

Talk to Your Teachers

[stickitupmyjinx]

One of them is wearing a giant belly. It's not Vanessa.

OOC

[stickitupmyjinx]

La!