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fandomhigh2018-05-15 12:00 am
livingartifact) wrote in fandomhigh2018-05-15 12:00 am
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Earth Zoology -- Pre-History Edition, Tuesday, Period 2
The class met up in the Danger Shop, as it would every day of the session. Upon entering, the students would find themselves in a completely blank space. Nothing but blank, white light, as far as the eye could see. There were no shadows, no angles; the only thing that told the students there was a floor was the feeling of it beneath their feet. It was an entirely empty canvas, and in the middle of it stood Jenkins, a tall old man wearing a three piece suit and a jaunty bowtie, and a smile.
"Welcome, students," he greeted. "I am Jenkins, and this is Earth Zoology — Pre-history Edition. If you are not in the correct classroom . . . well, I hope you'll stick around anyway. The school has provided you all with a marvelous contraption, capable of replicating fantastic landscapes and creatures. You quite simply cannot experience prehistoric life on this planet like this anywhere else."
He looked around the blank space with a thoughtful, pleased expression, then looked back at the students. "And no, it's not broken, currently. The first week is for introductions, and since I suspect you all might be a touch distracted when we get started with our first lesson, I thought we ought to get those out of the way before I hit 'start'. I see some familiar faces, but most of you I haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting, so if you would be so kind as to let me know your name and what brings you to class today, I think that will suffice."
He gestured to one of the students at random to get them started, and once the pleasantries were dispensed with, pulled a small, blocky remote from his pocket (the Danger Shop's controls had a somewhat flexible interface, and he liked it blocky remotes), and pressed the large red button in the center of it. The blank white expanse around them shivered and reformed into a strange, desolate landscape, full of towering rock formations under a dull, dim sun.
"The Earth itself is believed to be 4.6 billion years old. That is an unthinkably large number for most humanoids to wrap their minds around, and people have come up with any number of metaphors to attempt to explain how large it really is in a way that we can comprehend. A particular favorite is to imagine that the entire history of the Earth to date has occurred within a single 24 hour period — one day. Using this scale, humanity, having appeared approximately 100,000 years ago, occupy less than two minutes of the entire day. Of course, 100,000 years is likewise a difficult time period to wrap one's mind around. Recorded human history only goes back about 5,000 years — give or take the odd universe with much longer lived creatures who can track it better than humans can." Jenkins shot Peridot a small nod and a wink. "To further put things in perspective, most humans have difficulty reliably reporting what they did yesterday, much less four and a half years ago. Now, multiply those four and a half years by a billion and — well, I've managed to seriously digress."
Jenkins gave a rueful chuckle, and began leading the way across the uneven landscape towards the edge of a shallow sea. "For ease of study, scientists have divided the history of the Earth into a number of geological time frames, variously known as eons, eras, periods, or epochs. We stand now in a recreation of the early days of the Archean eon, roughly 3.8 billion years ago. For reference, outside those doors, Fandom exists in the Holocene epoch, which goes about 11.5 thousand years. Most of you would not much like life in the Archean eon; the Earth has only just begun to cool from its fiery formation in a cloud of radioactive dust, allowing small islands and seas to form along its crust. The atmosphere is almost entirely without oxygen, rich instead with carbon dioxide, which is helping to trap the heat of the dim and distant sun. It is in this environment that something truly miraculous occurred, though we do not yet know exactly how." Jenkins crouched down by the edge of the water, trailing his hand through it. "You cannot exactly see them, unless you happen to possess the ability to view the microscopic without tools, but in this water is the very first organic life on Earth."
He stood back up, and a chunk of wavy-patterned rock appeared in his hands. "We know this from the fossilized evidence left behind. I have here a stromatolite, a particular variety of fossil created when cyanobacteria — quite literally 'blue bacteria' — gathered together in layers. We've learned to identify the age of particular rocks and rock formations based on the amount and variety of chemicals they are composed of, and the very oldest of them date from this time period." He held out the rock for those who might want to pass it around.
"Now, I don't want you all to worry; our other classes will deal with Earth life of a much larger, more complex variety. But I thought it appropriate to begin our class this summer where Earth life itself began. If nothing else, it may perhaps grant you all a bit of . . . perspective."
"Welcome, students," he greeted. "I am Jenkins, and this is Earth Zoology — Pre-history Edition. If you are not in the correct classroom . . . well, I hope you'll stick around anyway. The school has provided you all with a marvelous contraption, capable of replicating fantastic landscapes and creatures. You quite simply cannot experience prehistoric life on this planet like this anywhere else."
He looked around the blank space with a thoughtful, pleased expression, then looked back at the students. "And no, it's not broken, currently. The first week is for introductions, and since I suspect you all might be a touch distracted when we get started with our first lesson, I thought we ought to get those out of the way before I hit 'start'. I see some familiar faces, but most of you I haven't yet had the pleasure of meeting, so if you would be so kind as to let me know your name and what brings you to class today, I think that will suffice."
He gestured to one of the students at random to get them started, and once the pleasantries were dispensed with, pulled a small, blocky remote from his pocket (the Danger Shop's controls had a somewhat flexible interface, and he liked it blocky remotes), and pressed the large red button in the center of it. The blank white expanse around them shivered and reformed into a strange, desolate landscape, full of towering rock formations under a dull, dim sun.
"The Earth itself is believed to be 4.6 billion years old. That is an unthinkably large number for most humanoids to wrap their minds around, and people have come up with any number of metaphors to attempt to explain how large it really is in a way that we can comprehend. A particular favorite is to imagine that the entire history of the Earth to date has occurred within a single 24 hour period — one day. Using this scale, humanity, having appeared approximately 100,000 years ago, occupy less than two minutes of the entire day. Of course, 100,000 years is likewise a difficult time period to wrap one's mind around. Recorded human history only goes back about 5,000 years — give or take the odd universe with much longer lived creatures who can track it better than humans can." Jenkins shot Peridot a small nod and a wink. "To further put things in perspective, most humans have difficulty reliably reporting what they did yesterday, much less four and a half years ago. Now, multiply those four and a half years by a billion and — well, I've managed to seriously digress."
Jenkins gave a rueful chuckle, and began leading the way across the uneven landscape towards the edge of a shallow sea. "For ease of study, scientists have divided the history of the Earth into a number of geological time frames, variously known as eons, eras, periods, or epochs. We stand now in a recreation of the early days of the Archean eon, roughly 3.8 billion years ago. For reference, outside those doors, Fandom exists in the Holocene epoch, which goes about 11.5 thousand years. Most of you would not much like life in the Archean eon; the Earth has only just begun to cool from its fiery formation in a cloud of radioactive dust, allowing small islands and seas to form along its crust. The atmosphere is almost entirely without oxygen, rich instead with carbon dioxide, which is helping to trap the heat of the dim and distant sun. It is in this environment that something truly miraculous occurred, though we do not yet know exactly how." Jenkins crouched down by the edge of the water, trailing his hand through it. "You cannot exactly see them, unless you happen to possess the ability to view the microscopic without tools, but in this water is the very first organic life on Earth."
He stood back up, and a chunk of wavy-patterned rock appeared in his hands. "We know this from the fossilized evidence left behind. I have here a stromatolite, a particular variety of fossil created when cyanobacteria — quite literally 'blue bacteria' — gathered together in layers. We've learned to identify the age of particular rocks and rock formations based on the amount and variety of chemicals they are composed of, and the very oldest of them date from this time period." He held out the rock for those who might want to pass it around.
"Now, I don't want you all to worry; our other classes will deal with Earth life of a much larger, more complex variety. But I thought it appropriate to begin our class this summer where Earth life itself began. If nothing else, it may perhaps grant you all a bit of . . . perspective."
Re: Introduce yourself
And his dad had mostly alternated between ignoring Jenkins' existence and actively wishing him dead, so.