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fandomhigh2018-01-31 12:03 am
livingartifact) wrote in fandomhigh2018-01-31 12:03 am
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Earth Zoology, Wednesday
The class met up in front of the Portalocity offices this week, where Jenkins waited to meet them. "Welcome back," he greeted. "So far this semester, we've met a few of Earth's smaller varieties of animal. I thought this week it might be nice for all of you to meet one of the larger ones. Which thanks to the scale of the school's hallways and classrooms, necessitates a field trip. But before we catch our . . . oddly corporate portal, I hope you will indulge me by listening to a short lecture.
"You have likely by now encountered, or at least seen photos and videos of, an Earth animal known as a 'cat'. They are generally identified by their four legs, tail, and superior attitude, and those native to this part of the world tend to be around the size to fit comfortably even in somewhat small laps. They are soft and warm, most often furry, and make a delightful rumbling noise when pleased. As such, despite their frequently cantankerous natures, many humans enjoy keeping them as companion animals. Indeed, they have evolved to be just that, having domesticated themselves — that is, made themselves suitable for human interaction — many thousands of years ago, once they realized that people were excellent at providing both food and scalp massages."
Jenkins held up a hand. "That is, that all describes the domestic cat, which is but one species of cat. There are wild varieties all over the world as well, ranging from the adorably named rusty-spotted cat of Sri Lanka and black-footed cat of southern Africa, neither of which grows to be much larger than cantaloupe melon, to the aptly named 'big cat' breeds, many of which grow to be, well, weight-wise certainly, larger than myself. Today we shall meet the very largest of these species, the tiger." The portal appeared, impeccably timed, behind him, and he held up a hand. "These animals are very lovely, but they are also extremely dangerous. Please be sure to follow any and all instructions given to you by our tour guides. I refuse to take responsibility should anyone's foolishness get them eaten."
"You have likely by now encountered, or at least seen photos and videos of, an Earth animal known as a 'cat'. They are generally identified by their four legs, tail, and superior attitude, and those native to this part of the world tend to be around the size to fit comfortably even in somewhat small laps. They are soft and warm, most often furry, and make a delightful rumbling noise when pleased. As such, despite their frequently cantankerous natures, many humans enjoy keeping them as companion animals. Indeed, they have evolved to be just that, having domesticated themselves — that is, made themselves suitable for human interaction — many thousands of years ago, once they realized that people were excellent at providing both food and scalp massages."
Jenkins held up a hand. "That is, that all describes the domestic cat, which is but one species of cat. There are wild varieties all over the world as well, ranging from the adorably named rusty-spotted cat of Sri Lanka and black-footed cat of southern Africa, neither of which grows to be much larger than cantaloupe melon, to the aptly named 'big cat' breeds, many of which grow to be, well, weight-wise certainly, larger than myself. Today we shall meet the very largest of these species, the tiger." The portal appeared, impeccably timed, behind him, and he held up a hand. "These animals are very lovely, but they are also extremely dangerous. Please be sure to follow any and all instructions given to you by our tour guides. I refuse to take responsibility should anyone's foolishness get them eaten."
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CUTEST. EPISODE. EVER. I want to keep the D&D nerds forever, especially Aurora. . . .
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And I loved Jenkins DMing. :D
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It did a pretty good job of rushing past the usual "ugh, these people are neeeeeeeeeeeeerds" tropes and getting right to the juicy "and that's awesome" bits. It was directed by Lindy Booth (who plays Cassandra), which I feel like maybe helped on that front.
I am a little grumpy that Jeff ends up forgiven, though. I mean, DUDE. "I literally stole someone else's body but it's okay because I'm a sad, pathetic white boy" is a trope I would love to never see again.
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The nerds were great, though.