fandomhigh | Practical Diplomacy, [Wednesday, January 3, 2017]

Anakin came sweeping into the class, Jedi robes swirling behind him, three minutes after class was due to start. "Well, we're halfway through the week, so I'm assuming many of you are already very tired of introductions," he said, "and that's too bad because doing repetitive things you're secretly sick of is about 80 percent of diplomacy."

He gave the class a rueful smile. "I'm Master Anakin Skywalker, and I'm a Jedi: in my home galaxy, that means I'm something like a priest-diplomat with superpowers. Those of you who are from home know that's not entirely accurate, but diplomacy is also about making yourself understood to different cultures, so it's close enough to be a useful working definition, at least for now. Today is introductions, of course, but also your first lesson. You need to tell us who you are, but in a way that makes it memorable--no pyrotechnics or weapons displays, please, this is a class on diplomacy. There are different ones on weapons and making bad decisions this semester. You can explore those kinds of options there. So, as we go around: who you are, what makes you stand out. And the rest of you, you must find a way to remember everyone, and also look interested in the information you're being given. You are absolutely allowed to take notes because there is a quiz at the end: you must recite back everyone's name in the correct order and with proper pronunciation."

He quirked up an eyebrow. "I'm assuming you've already remembered me."

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Norman was kind of staring, now. This was already not the class he'd thought it would be. Which was basically going to be a statement that would summarize his entire high school career going forward, probably.

"Oh. Um." He ran his hand through his hair. It popped back into place again. "I guess that's good to know."

And then, because he couldn't resist asking, "You were tailed a lot, then?"

Anakin nodded. "I got used to it. Got very good at avoiding ambushes."

You know, as you do.

"Ambushes?"

Welcome to Fandom, Norman.

"Well, most of the ambushes weren't here?"

Very reassuring, Anakin.

Yeah, Norman was super not reassured.

"That's... good?"

Super not reassured.

"I kind of thought this was mostly going to be a class about talking reason with people."

New kid.

Aww, he still had his new kid shine on him and everything!

"We will," Anakin said, nodding. "But also...other stuff."

Like ambushes!

"Like... ambushes."

Norman was now casting furtive little glances toward the door.

"Not today," Anakin said, smiling. "It's not a great way to build trust."

Norman wasn't terribly certain that actually helped. Now he was going to be waiting for one, paranoid.

"And you're not worried that an ambush later will break any trust you've built?"

Or would it just not matter by then?

"Not really," Anakin said.

"Great."

Maybe if Norman sucked up to those little green toothy ghosts he sometimes saw around the place, he could convince them to warn him when Master Skywalker had ambush days in the lesson plan...

"I think this mostly just means I'm going to remember you as the ambush guy."

"That's fair," Anakin said.

Norman made a disgruntled little noise at that somewhere in the back of his throat, and then just kind of sat back and wondered what in the world he'd agreed to get himself into, here.

Practical Diplomacy, [Wednesday, January 3, 2017]

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