fandomhigh | Library, Monday

Entry tags:

library

Library, Monday

Was it more or less embarrassing that Tip had only really deaged a handful of years this weekend? It made her simultaneously feel really old and really young, for one thing.

Either way, it was far from the worst thing that the island had thrown at her, so Tip figured she couldn't complain. Sure, she'd had to spend a good chunk of her morning fielding questions from her family about why she'd kept texting to ask if she was allowed to go places and do things (usually well after she'd already headed out to go to and do those things), but other than her mom laughing uproariously and J.Lo demanding pictures, her afternoon was looking perfectly calm and quiet.

So she had plenty of time to look up human development books on her library shift. And make-up tips on how to make herself look older.

[open!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"No," Breq said. "I didn't." And she smiled at Tip.

Someday, Tip would get the whole story out of Breq. In the meantime, she wasn't going to pry. "Well, at least things are pretty cool here," she said, checking the books back into the system. "Even if I do sometimes have to get turned back into a ten year old."

"They are, mostly," she agreed. "It's a good place, for now." She paused, then added: "You asked me something, when you were a child."

Tip winced. "Yeeeeeah. Sorry about that."

"It doesn't matter," Breq said. "It is true what I said. I should practice more, but I forget."

Tip shook her head a little. "I really don't mind," she said. "It just means it takes a little more effort to make sure you're comfortable. But, like, if there's someway I can help you practice when you want to, let me know?"

"Remind me when I forget?" Breq looked at Tip. "I need to learn. I need to be able to pass as human when I leave here."

"It's not just something your whole culture does, then," Tip mused thoughtfully. "Unless you're not planning to go home?"

"Oh, I am. But not until I have a good plan," Breq said. "Tip, I'm a spaceship. Or was. I'm the only part that's left. I have to seem human enough when I go back, and that's one reason I think staying here for now is useful."

She paused. "I think most people here wouldn't care, and I'm quite sure you won't, but I prefer it if you didn't tell anyone."

". . . You know, that was not one of my theories," Tip said, blinking a few times as she processed that information. "How did you end up, uh. In this shape?"

"Many ships where I'm from have human bodies connected to them. I had many, but this," she gestured at herself, "is the only one left."

And sadly it didn't have a good voice.

"The rest of me was destroyed. It's a long story. But someone I loved died, and I need to go back for her sake."

Tip grimaced. "I'm so sorry, Breq. That's terrible." She bit her lip once, keeping in mind that Breq had just asked her to do this, even if it felt super weird to audit someone else's emotions. "I, uh. I know you probably won't be discussing what happened to her directly when you go home, if you're trying to keep hidden? But do you want to practice looking sad?"

"No, I just want my expressions and body language to match whatever I'm saying or feeling at the moment. Or rather, what I want people to think I'm feeling. I can make my body to it, but it's not a habit."

Breq looked at Tip. "I intend to practice more. If I forget, or if it seems odd, will you tell me?"

"Yeah. I mean, that's kind of what I meant. When you said the person you love died -- I mean, there's definitely people who would look blank at that just because the emotions were too big, but there's usually going to be at least something. Looking down or away or something at least."

"Is that what you thought? That I felt things I was unable to communicate?" Breq asked. "Where I'm from people would understand what I am. Ancillaries are expressionless. I've even made officers uncomfortable by smiling."

In a way she did feel things she was unable to communicate through expressions and body language, just not for the reason a human would.

"I don't know. Maybe? Or that you come from a really repressed culture. That's why you want to practice, huh? Because not having expressions is a dead giveaway."

"Yes," Breq said. "That's why. It's better to practice in this place, where no one cares about it."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Library, Monday

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB

Re: NFB