fandomhigh | The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

Magnus was basically bouncing about this class because he hadn't gotten to fight anything gelatinous since the very first adventure in the podcast. Oh, Jizz Cave, he sorta missed you.

"Hi and welcome back!"

Cara had questions about Magnus's narrative, questions she was pretty sure she didn't actually want answered. "It's not all robot bar fights in this place," she said. "Sometimes it's even stranger."

His canon also featured a talking elevator that wanted you to go into it's belly. So. Yeah. You made a good choice, Cara.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Magnus said, putting his hands on his cheeks Kevin McCallister style. "Say it ain't so!"

"Hard to believe, I know," Cara said dryly. "Not just that, but there were times when students weren't trusted with anything more dangerous than safety scissors. At all." In case anyone felt being discreet about not keeping things in the weapons locker involved too much effort.

Magnus gave his ax a reassuring pat. And his lance. And his sword. Pats all around to let them know they were safe here. "Which sounds like a bad choice here, but I'm sure lessons were learned by all. Hence this class! Where we bribe the squirrels with alcohol to get all the good dirt on what happened in the past and then inflict it on you."

The brighter students could probably see the flaw in this plan, but Cara didn't care. With her own reassuring rest of a hand on one of her agiels, she continued "Today we bring you the true events of a harmless race interrupted by a truly dangerous foe." A wobbly, wobbly foe.

"I'd venture to say they're probably tasty foes too," Magnus said, tilting his head in deep thought. "Anyway, it's Jello Dragons. Which is pretty cool because the only dragons I've fought before now were in the live shows." He cleared his throat like that had never been said. "Let's kick their asses!"