fandomhigh | The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

Magnus was basically bouncing about this class because he hadn't gotten to fight anything gelatinous since the very first adventure in the podcast. Oh, Jizz Cave, he sorta missed you.

"Hi and welcome back!"

Cara had questions about Magnus's narrative, questions she was pretty sure she didn't actually want answered. "It's not all robot bar fights in this place," she said. "Sometimes it's even stranger."

His canon also featured a talking elevator that wanted you to go into it's belly. So. Yeah. You made a good choice, Cara.

"Whaaaaaaaaaat?" Magnus said, putting his hands on his cheeks Kevin McCallister style. "Say it ain't so!"

"Hard to believe, I know," Cara said dryly. "Not just that, but there were times when students weren't trusted with anything more dangerous than safety scissors. At all." In case anyone felt being discreet about not keeping things in the weapons locker involved too much effort.

Magnus gave his ax a reassuring pat. And his lance. And his sword. Pats all around to let them know they were safe here. "Which sounds like a bad choice here, but I'm sure lessons were learned by all. Hence this class! Where we bribe the squirrels with alcohol to get all the good dirt on what happened in the past and then inflict it on you."

The brighter students could probably see the flaw in this plan, but Cara didn't care. With her own reassuring rest of a hand on one of her agiels, she continued "Today we bring you the true events of a harmless race interrupted by a truly dangerous foe." A wobbly, wobbly foe.

"I'd venture to say they're probably tasty foes too," Magnus said, tilting his head in deep thought. "Anyway, it's Jello Dragons. Which is pretty cool because the only dragons I've fought before now were in the live shows." He cleared his throat like that had never been said. "Let's kick their asses!"

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The Danger Shop resembled a bright sunny day in the park, scattered about the place were various brightly coloured rickshaws (the squirrels hadn't gotten specific on what kind of race it'd been), many of which looked to have been modded, including one that didn't have wheels anymore but was hovering in place.

There were also various brightly coloured Jello dragons, not so much scattered about the place as rampaging.

You can either improvise something from what you can find here or sprint up to the weapons locker to find a "real" weapon. Have fun, kids!

Ahsoka booked it for the weapons locker which luckily happened to have lightsabers in its simulated weapon collection.

Then, like her master before her on that long ago summer day, she discovered that lightsabers weren't really the greatest of weapons to use on Jello dragons.

"Stomp on them!" Magnus suggested. "Glowing swords so aren't the right jam here."

He said this, looking sadly at his Flaming, Raging, Poisoning Sword of Doom.

Wiping melted Jello dragon off a montral, Ahsoka extinguished her blade and tried stomping. "Jam is one word for it."

Kark, that was a disturbing texture.

"You're doing great," Magnus replied, giving her a sort of gooey thumbs up.

Would Yang prefer real weapons? Of course.

But she had Aura, and there was a rickshaw wheel on the ground, which she quickly snapped in half and grabbed by the hoop, spokes sticking out like a mutant brass-knuckles.

When she went to punch them... Yang couldn't pull her improvised wheels free, barely managing to let go and get out of the way before she got squished. "What ARE these things???"

"Made of dessert," Cara called out cheerfully.

Very helpful, Cara.

Yang gave her an incredulous Look. "You people eat sticky dragons that don't bleed?"

Earth was weird.

It was. Though not usually quite this weird and sure, Cara could clear up the issue, but...

"It's considered a noble feat to bring down a beast and provide for the town."

Cara, no.

Khadgar thought about using his magic, but that hadn't gotten such a good reaction in the beginning, so instead he found a good stick on the ground and began wielding it like a staff, swinging at the dragons.

Then, because he lacked self-preservation, he picked at some of the sticky stuff left on the stick and licked it. "These things taste like fruit."

"Fus-ro-dah one!" Magnus said. Because that made sense to him and because he wanted to see some wicked magic that didn't involve tentacles. Taako.

Unfortunately, that didn't make sense to Khadgar, but he was also nervous about asking for clarification, so he did the first thing that came to mind, and with a snap of magic, one of the dragons let out a terrified bleat as it turned into a sheep and crashed to the ground in a tumble of wool and hooves.

"...oh my god, he's adorable," he said in the soft, awed voice of animal lovers everywhere.

Now Magnus wanted to have a pet sheep. Look what you did, Khadgar!

Hey, sheep really were cute! Everyone should want one!

"It lasts for about a minute and then it'll pop back to being a sticky thing again," he said. "One of my few mostly harmless spells."

"Not as badass as that crown that makes people crazy, but super adorable," Magnus said. God help Khadgar if he learned D&D spells.

"I would really like to visit your world sometime to see how your magic works," Khadgar said, because again, fan of terrible ideas here. "It sounds like you have access to some interesting spells."

Turns out that hitting a Jello dragon with an energy weapon is also not a good idea.

"Eww," Mara said, now covered in blue goo.

The Island Hates You (Yes, You), Thursday Period 2

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