fandomhigh | Advanced Journalism (Tuesday, March 21, 2006)

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Advanced Journalism (Tuesday, March 21, 2006)

Rita smiled. "Today, an easy assignment. Invent a shorthand, or use one you've established, and take notes on something unusual you see. And naturally, keep the notes."

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Rory shrieked.

"Tiny snake on me omgwtf!"

Snakey is triumphant! He is a snake on a motherfricking head!

Time to nest! Snakey starts trying to burrow...

Rory flailed a bit. "John? Johnny. This is Rory. Get out of my hair. Please?"

Snakey really doesn't understand this and it's warm in there. So, he stays there and curls up into a snake ball.

Rory held her camera out and took a picture of herself with a snakey on her head, and offered up a wee jellybean snack.

Since snakes have no teeth, Snakey thinks jellybeans are a choking hazard.

So he hisses at the offered snack.

Rory was vaguely hurt.

"Would you like to go spend time with Professor Skeeter?" she asked.

If Snake John could talk, he would tell her that he didn't want to choke on a wee jelly bean but that he was very appreciative of the gesture.

And, of course he wants to go spend time with Professor Scooter.

Rory gently plucked him off her head, and set him down on Rita's desk.

Then she scurried back to her seat and picked up her camera.

SNAKE ON A MOTHERFUCKIN SKEETER DESK.

Johnny totally makes to slither onto her lap.

Rita glanced down at him.

"No," she said warningly.

Yeah right, like she can do worse to him. He's not a pet.

He totally slides into her lap and nestles there.

Rita wrinkled her nose, pulled him from her lap, and set him back on the desk.

"No," she said again.

Johnny slithers right back onto Rita's lap. And, since he's small, slithers BEHIND her.

Rita wondered where he had gone with a sense of impending dread.

Johnny slithers behind her back and ends up on Rita's other hand wherein he wraps around her wrist and clings.

Rita attempted to pull him off her wrist. "No," she said again. "Unless you want to go on the plane again."

John is a snake therefore agile. So, he slithers up Rita's arm and might've possibly disappeared into the sleeve of her clothing...

"OUT OF THERE!" Rita shrieked, flailing.

John is a snake therefore clingy! He totally snuggles down right near Rita's shoulder. Like his new home away from home.

"Out!" Rita said, reaching inside her collar to try to pull him out.

Rory totally took a picture.

John just clings, clings, clings tight.

He totally wraps around her undergarment, oh yes.

Rita's eyes went wide. "Okay, no. No, no, no, no," she said, tugging on the clingy little snake. "Out of there. NOW."

John clings as tightly as he can, tightly to the strap he can find and he just coils his wee little body around that strap.

Rita really, really, really did not want it to come to this.

"If you don't let go, I'll turn you back into a boy WHILE YOU ARE IN THERE."

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