fandomhigh | Continue Trying Not to Die, Tuesday, July 25, 2017

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try not to die

Continue Trying Not to Die, Tuesday, July 25, 2017

"So last week was too hot and the week before was too cold," Anakin said. "So I've picked the geographic center of the United States today. Welcome to Belle Fourche, South Dakota, where it's going to be 93 degrees today--or 34, depending on which thermometer you can understand. We'll...find something to do."

Oh, you poor children.

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Show Anakin your amazing purchase!

Pinkie showed off four "Where the HECK is Wall Drug?" bumper stickers.

The fifth was . . . somewhere. Possibly in an embarrassing spot on Anakin's vehicle or person. Or maybe not. I mean, it wasn't like a small pink girl could sneak up and plaster a bumper sticker on the back of a renown jedi, was it?

Not without getting a super cranky Jedi glare, that was for certain.

"Those are definitely something," Anakin said with a tiny smile. "Have fun?"

Wall Drug seemed like her sort of place.

"That was way better than the last couple weeks!" Pinkie said. "Where d'ya suppose one could get a pet jackalope?"

"I don't know," Anakin said, frowning thoughtfully. "Maybe ask the people running the store?"

"Good idea!"

Pinkie was going to come back with so much jackalope swag.

Merrill was just cuddling the prairie dog plush by the time she showed up. Coming in close to last didn't even bother her any more by now.

"I take it you found something you liked," Anakin said.

"It's adorable," Merrill said earnestly. "I think I'll call it Fluffy."

Her naming-things game was strong. Really.

Ahsoka tossed Anakin a small tub of moustache wax. Because of course she did.

"This is for Obi-Wan," Anakin decided.

"Aren't you interested in growing your own?" Ahsoka asked, oh so innocently, like she hadn't been there for that one campaign that lasted long enough result in dire Skywalker facial hair.

Anakin made a face. "You know why I'm not."

Because he looked like a douche when he did.

Hopefully Anakin enjoyed the brass ornament extolling the amazing things to see in... Wisconsin?

What? Nowhere in the rules did it say the purchase had to be South-Dakota-themed.

"That's...quite a thing," Anakin said, looking at the ornament.

"This tacky enough?" Jyn said, holding out her purchase.

She was wondering how she was going to bring up "Oh, by the way, do you have any thoughts on where I could find an Imperial kyber refinery planet? No reason." in conversation.

"...wow, that kind of impressively terrible," Anakin said.

"Only the best for you," Jyn said.

She gathered up her courage and decided to try to get a feel for if Anakin was as dangerous as Hannibal had led her to believe -- which contradicted what her mother had told her about Jedi. "So," she said, "what do you get out of teaching this class other than tacky souvenirs and watching us suffer?"

"I'm also teaching you to think on your feet and adapt to your surroundings," Anakin said. "I've been in Fandom for more than a decade and have heard a lot about different timelines and universes. Many students are going back to very dangerous situations. My classes are intended to get them prepared."

That sounded reasonable enough. Still....

"Riding jackalopes and frying donuts?" Jyn said skeptically. "How's that going to help me with what I have to face when I go home?"

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Kaylin smiled cheerfully at him and held out the taffy. "I found the tacky!"

Anakin smiled back. Taffy...tacky...close enough. "Thank you. You're last today, but it doesn't seem to bother you."

"Have you ever heard Lakota?" Kaylin asked. "It's not as bad as Leontine, but it's tricky."

She sighed, then grinned. "There are no swears in Lakota. But! There are some good insults!"

"I always need some more insults," Anakin said. "Huttese has some excellent ones."

Her eyes lit up. "Really? Would you teach me some?"

Ah, the way to Kaylin's heart and brain!

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