fandomhigh | Library, Saturday

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Library, Saturday

You know what was really fun when the island started thumping and shaking? Having sensory organs that were highly sensitive to vibrations.

Ahsoka was not a happy little Togruta when she opened the library today.

She also set up the tables in the middle and broke into that stash of library caf in the hopes it would summon people trying to fix this.

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"Kind of. Like . . . imagine how humanity might behave if we manage to make the Earth uninhabitable and have to go out into the universe to find somewhere new," Tip said. "And then throw in a race of giant, ugly, homicidal clone people who's language system is based on punching that starts following humanity around and literally eating whatever new planet they find to live on."

"Cockroaches followed by locusts," Kathy grumbled.

Her view of humanity was not at its most positive.

"Right," Top said, blinking. "And in this case, ine of the cockroaches made friends with one of the native beetles and together they discovered that the locusts were allergic to gnats."

Tip's world was weird.

"And what did the gnats turn out to be?" Kathy asked. "It wasn't the common cold, was it?"

"I don't think getting sick from germs counts as an allergy," Tip pointed out. "It was cats, actually."

"So, the aliens that were chasing the colonizing aliens packed up and went home bec"ause cats?" Kathy asked. "That's...okay then. That's one in the eye for anyone who thinks cats are useless."

". . . I mean. It's possible they died of a horrible allergic reaction in space," Tip said. "But — yeah."

"Huh," Kathy said. Too bad that hadn't worked on exes. "I feel like you should write that down somewhere in the library. Just in case there's ever an invasion of them and some other generation of Fandom folk need to research how to stop them."

"Oh god, I hope they never show up in Fandom." Tip shook her head. "They actually figured out the cat thing before we did. Managed to kill most of them off. We'd have to spot them really early."

Those poor kitties.

"Man, best of luck to them if they came here and tried that," Kathy snorted, imagining what Dante or Anders would do if something hurt Blondie or Lachlan. "They wouldn't have time for their allergies to kick in."

"They can swarm," Tip said. "'Locusts' wasn't far off."

"That's horrifying," Kathy said, though she was thinking of a different species entirely. "...And seems like the kind of thing we'd have to deal with around here."

Tip shuddered. "I prefer the bunnies."

"Agree to never think of this again?" Kathy suggested.

"That sounds like a solid plan to me."

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Library, Saturday

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