fandomhigh | Library, Wednesday

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Library, Wednesday

Something was hinky.

It felt like half the wards in John's apartment had gone off screaming, jolting him awake, before falling silent, reset like nothing had happened. And as far as he could tell when he checked them, nothing had happened, like he'd dreamed it or some shite. Which, given how hungover he was, was a distinct possibility. Three-day-old Chinese food and a bender with bad horror movies was a bloody terrible idea.

Still, the office was sending him a fresh batch of victims to feed to Special Collections, so he hauled his arse out of bed (again) and went in to the library to start the required paperwork. Fucking paperwork. There had to be a spell or some shite to outsource this, didn't there?

The library was open, and the librarian was... John Constantine. We're so sorry.

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If that's your thing.

After talking to the librarian about Dark Nation, Rufus oriented himself regarding the library's filing system and in short order had an armful of books about the practical nature reality, with a side order about fog.

Dark Nation followed him around the stacks and then, when Rufus settled himself at a table, curled up under his chair.

He's in his office, coffee machine running constantly and chain-smoking. Welcome to the Fandom High library, kids.

Was there a little green triangle skulking around the library today? Why yes, yes there was. And was she here trying to figure out which section she would have to look in order to find a book that answered the question, 'What does it mean when you look outside and the island melts for a few seconds before getting better?' You betcha!

Unfortunately, perusing the science section looking for natural Earth phenomena wasn't doing it for her, so here she came, peering through the doorway into the librarian's office, like the ominous little green triangle that she was.

It was fucking creepy, the way it felt like he was being watched, and when John glanced toward the door there wasn't anyone standing there-- at people height. Was that a fucking triangle down there?

"Stop being an ominous little lurker and come in, then," he said, waving her in to the office with his coffee mug. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I," Peridot announced, straightening up and sauntering into John's office, "am Peridot. And I'd like to know what's going on outside, but I'd settle for a functioning understanding of all of the knowledge your species has amassed and made available here in this analog knowledge forest."

... She had grasped that paper was made of trees. And that books weren't digital. Roll with it.

"What's going on outside?" Constantine shrugged. "Pretty sure it's called winter. Why? Is it snowing?"

Look, he'd been hungover when he came to work. He hadn't really been paying attention.

"Though 'knowledge forest' is a pretty good term for this place. It's a multidimensional library connection, for lack of a better term. All the books in time and space, sitting at your fingertips." He squinted at her. "Where did you want to start, love? Localized history, national history, global history, biology, physics... 's a lot of books around here."

There was a long silence there as Peridot's eyes went wide.

"... Is there a book about what snowing is?"

Because... she didn't know, but whatever it was, it was shunting her concerns about the weird flickering aside entirely, because DISCOVERY.

"Lots of 'em," he promised, actually setting down his coffee to head towards the stacks, assuming she'd follow. "What's your reading level at? We got everything from picture books, to the hard science stuff."

"Try me at hard science and I'll work my way down if necessary," Peridot replied, waving a hand dismissively as she followed along. "I've been reading your alphabet since I arrived on the island in your Earth month of May. I'm practically a professional, now."

It helped that she didn't sleep and hadn't had much else to do.

"Right then," he said, grabbing a few options. "Some of these are a bit more general in that they cover all weather, but they've got sections on snow and winter."

There were practically literal stars in Peridot's eyes as she looked up at the selection of books that John had taken down for her. Her mouth formed an 'ooo' shape, and then she reached up, not quite making 'gimme gimme' gestures, but close.

"All weather!? Maybe they'll have something in them about what's going on out there, then! Perfect!"

Constantine kinda blinked at her, but handed the books to her.

"You weren't pulling my leg about 'all of the knowledge,' were you?" he asked, the hints of a smile tugging around the corners of his mouth.

Peridot blinked. And looked at Constantine's leg as she hugged the books to her chest. And then looked back up at him again, puzzled.

"I didn't touch your leg."

So, no. No kidding.

"Literal one, aren't you?" he said. "'S an expression, it means you were exaggerating for effect, or using hyperbole. Telling a tall tale that wasn't quite true, though parts of it were, for example."

"Pulling your leg," Peridot hedged, frowning a little, and then glancing around them. "... Are there books about human expressions here as well?"

She'd taken so many things literally to this point, and she always seemed to end up embarrassing herself as a result.

"We got those too," he confirmed. "Though expressions can vary by region, so England would have different colloquialisms than America than Canada, so make sure you start with the US, yeah? Not all English is created equal."

American heathens.

He looked at the sheaf of papers still in his hand, then at Peridot, and shrugged. "If you're going to be here constantly, want to get paid for it?"

What was one more form to fill out when he already had to do the damn thing anyway?

"Paid?" Peridot blinked back up at John, wide-eyed. "Money, you mean? To be used in exchange for goods and services?"

That was generally what paid meant on Earth, Peridot, yes.

She squinted.

"Is there a catch?"

"Generally, yeah, unless your species prefers, I dunno, payment in flowers or something," he said with a shrug. "The catch is you show up on a mostly-regular basis, wrangle semi-sentient books, help people even if they're being stupid, and keep them out of Special Collections. It can be harder than it sounds."

"In return, you get paid the same wage as the other library aides, 'less there's something else you need to be paid, and get keys that let you in whenever."

Peridot's eyes went wide all over again at that. Really, she'd do all those things just to be able to get in whenever she wanted to.

"I can do those things! I'm good at those things! I help stupid people all the time at Stark's!"

Peridot was clearly fantastic at customer service.

She'd fit right in with Constantine's customer service ethic. Cosette was the nice one, as it stood right now, and he was fine with that.

"Great, fantastic, you get started on these and I'll be back in a few with keys." Now he could claim he was being proactive in hiring, and maybe the Office Moose would lay off a bit.

Good luck with that, John. The Office Moose was a moose, after all.

"Great!" Peridot was more than a little bit excited, yes. She looked around the library for a place to sit while she read, spotted a table with a few chairs lined up at it, and then scurried off to set herself up for some reading. She had to investigate this 'snow' business. It was doing some weird things outside, after all.

Dark Nation shoved the door open just before Rufus could. Rufus pretended that was the idea in the first place.

"There's a disturbing tendency for the island to slide in and out of existence today," he announced. "I'm using the library to see why. Is it a problem if my dog stays with me?"

Rufus did not particularly care if it was a problem but pretending to cover his bases was a long and practiced tradition.

"Is that what it is? Fuck me, no wonder my alarms keep flipping back and forth from 'Weird' to 'No Weirder Than Normal,'" Constantine groaned. "Whatever, mate, so long as he doesn't bite anyone that doesn't deserve it."

Implied was that if they did deserve it, John wouldn't give two shits, and might give the dog a medal.

"And if anything runs out of Special Collections, I wouldn't recommend he chase it."

"He might try and electrocute it," Rufus admitted, smiling faintly at the permission both verbal and implied. "But I'll make sure he doesn't chase it."

As you did when your dog could shoot lightning bolts at things.

"There's an unusual fog about too. It's... disconcerting him." With a nod to the dog. "And he doesn't usually care about the weather."

"Electrocute is fine, just don't want him getting bit or scratched and getting some magic plague, because that would be just our luck today," John replied. Worries about setting the library on fire? NAH. It'd be fine.

"Fog, huh? Well, grab me before you leave, and we'll do a quick check to make sure it's not acidic or sentient-ly hostile before you go wandering back to the dorms in it." Because these were the things you had to think about when you lived on this damn island.

Rufus thought about telling the librarian that his back up plan had been seeing if he could talk Peridot into standing in it to see if she dissolved.

Rufus was a great friend.

"I'll do that," he said. "Sadly, I lack interesting abilities like that."

Rufus hesitated.

"I can heal some," he said, finally. He had several Cura on him. Along with other things. "If anyone needs that and comes staggering to the library..."

If Constantine knew Peridot was in no danger of lasting damage, he probably would have used her as a canary in the coal mine too. Sorry, Peri.

"Someone comes in bloody and screaming, don't feel you have to wait on my account," he said, waving a hand. "I'll come see what's going on, most likely, but none of the magics or wards I've got running in here will be disturbed by some healing."

"I'll look after it," he said, with simple confidence. Rufus had a high opinion of himself. Even at fourteen, though, it was mostly justified. "Have you heard of people turning hollow before?"

It was something Kathy had said.

"Hollow?" he shook his head. "Can't say that I have, but it gives us somewhere to start, at least."

"I'll add it to my list," he said, smiling faintly. "Thanks."

Basic OCD, since the world isn't ending TODAY.

(And we feel fine)

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Library, Wednesday

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