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fandomhigh2016-09-13 05:04 am
stickitupmyjinx) wrote in fandomhigh2016-09-13 05:04 am
Entry tags:
Sex Ed, Tuesday, First Period
"Okay, so," Vanessa said at the beginning of today's class, "now that we've covered the basics of how you get knocked up, let's talk about how to avoid that at all costs. If you've ever been to public school, which..." Vanessa paused and surveyed her students. God, it was like teaching a Ren Faire. "...admittedly seems unlikely, and had any kind of sex education there, you've been told that--" Vanessa assumed her best prim smarmy tone: "'The only way to avoid pregnancy or STDs is total abstinence.'" And then she was back to herself. "Ironically, the people telling you this usually believe that in at least one very important case that didn't work, and at least ninety-eight of the time did not follow their own advice. But! It is true! Sort of. The only one hundred percent foolproof way to avoid getting knocked up or having your junk rot off is to not get your naughty bits involved with anyone else in any way, or get involved with anyone else's naughty bits. But that's boring. So let's talk about your other options.
"Now, this is one of those things that's going to vary by universe, so in your home universe I would advise you to seek out the best information you can, which...I'm going to go ahead and assume is not going to be dispensed by the local religious establishment. I could be wrong, and if so, I'm really happy for you, but in my experience someone like a doctor or a midwife or a professional sex worker is going to be way more straight with you. The information I'm going to give you today is about this universe, because it's where we are right now and probably where you'll be having your next sex. Next, because none of these methods is one hundred percent--some of them are, like, ninety-nine point nine if you use them correctly, but that's still not a hundred--I strongly recommend you use at least two--for example, the pill plus a condom, and don't worry, I'll explain what both of those are.
"First off, condoms." Vanessa held up a tin foil packet. "There will be a bowl of these on the desk in my office at all times. Feel free to drop by and take some. The condom is a latex barrier--if you have a latex allergy, there are alternatives--that goes over the penis. This prevents bodily fluids from mingling, preventing both STDs and pregnancy. The condom is the only method of contraception that also guards against diseases, and it is, when used properly, almost foolproof. So use them. And don't ever believe a guy who says his dick is too big for one. His ego is what's too big. I will now demonstrate how to properly put on a condom." Vanessa proceeded to take a purple dildo out of one of her desk drawers and matter-of-factly show the class how to open the packet without tearing the condom, how to put it on the dildo, and how to remove it and discard it after sex, talking them through each step.
"Now, if you're from a universe without condoms and you're thinking about buying a lifetime stock to take home with you, bad news, they expire, and then the latex becomes brittle and they'll break. If you can learn how they're made, though, I just gave you a foolproof way to become a billionaire and a hero. Then there's the diaphragm, which is inserted in the vagina to cover the cervix. It's not quite as effective, because on removal some sperm might get through, but it does have the advantage of being reusable, and being usable in situations where you might not want your partner to know you're using birth control, if you have an opportunity ahead of time to stick it in." Look, she didn't know what kind of situations these girls were heading back to. She wanted them prepared. "Condoms are readily available in any drugstore and, again, for free in my office and probably at the clinic. If you decide you want a diaphragm, you'll have to talk to a health care professional to get it fitted, and they'll show you how to insert and remove it.
"Next, birth control pills, which are a pill that, taken daily, prevents ovulation--which, if you don't know, is the release of the egg--by messing with the chemicals, called hormones, that cause it. It's very important to take these on time every day, as a skipped day could result in ovulation and, you know, pregnancy. For long-term birth control, you should consult a health care professional about what's right for you, but there are hormonal implants that last for a few years, along with IUDs--small devices implanted in the uterus that either release hormones to prevent ovulation or are made of copper, which kills sperm and prevents fertilization. There are also spermicidal gels on the market. Or, if you're absolutely sure you don't want kids, you can always try to talk a doctor into snipping or tying your tubes.
"Now, again, all of these methods prevent pregnancy. The only one that forms a barrier and prevents disease transmission is the condom. Which means we also need to discuss dental dams." Vanessa held up a seemingly innocuous piece of bright green latex. "This is a real one, but saran wrap works, too. Basically you just lay it over the vagina--or the anus, and yes, that's a thing--and go to town. Much like a guy can totally still feel everything through a condom, you can totally go down on someone with one of these between your mouth and their bits, and it will still be barrels of fun! And you should, unless you're in a committed relationship and you both have been tested and are clear of any STDs. Remember, that is the only time you should engage in unprotected sex.
"I have examples of all of these at the front of the room if anyone wants to see them, and I'm open for any questions you might have. I'd also like to hear about what birth control is like in your universes." She had a feeling it was really different.
"Now, this is one of those things that's going to vary by universe, so in your home universe I would advise you to seek out the best information you can, which...I'm going to go ahead and assume is not going to be dispensed by the local religious establishment. I could be wrong, and if so, I'm really happy for you, but in my experience someone like a doctor or a midwife or a professional sex worker is going to be way more straight with you. The information I'm going to give you today is about this universe, because it's where we are right now and probably where you'll be having your next sex. Next, because none of these methods is one hundred percent--some of them are, like, ninety-nine point nine if you use them correctly, but that's still not a hundred--I strongly recommend you use at least two--for example, the pill plus a condom, and don't worry, I'll explain what both of those are.
"First off, condoms." Vanessa held up a tin foil packet. "There will be a bowl of these on the desk in my office at all times. Feel free to drop by and take some. The condom is a latex barrier--if you have a latex allergy, there are alternatives--that goes over the penis. This prevents bodily fluids from mingling, preventing both STDs and pregnancy. The condom is the only method of contraception that also guards against diseases, and it is, when used properly, almost foolproof. So use them. And don't ever believe a guy who says his dick is too big for one. His ego is what's too big. I will now demonstrate how to properly put on a condom." Vanessa proceeded to take a purple dildo out of one of her desk drawers and matter-of-factly show the class how to open the packet without tearing the condom, how to put it on the dildo, and how to remove it and discard it after sex, talking them through each step.
"Now, if you're from a universe without condoms and you're thinking about buying a lifetime stock to take home with you, bad news, they expire, and then the latex becomes brittle and they'll break. If you can learn how they're made, though, I just gave you a foolproof way to become a billionaire and a hero. Then there's the diaphragm, which is inserted in the vagina to cover the cervix. It's not quite as effective, because on removal some sperm might get through, but it does have the advantage of being reusable, and being usable in situations where you might not want your partner to know you're using birth control, if you have an opportunity ahead of time to stick it in." Look, she didn't know what kind of situations these girls were heading back to. She wanted them prepared. "Condoms are readily available in any drugstore and, again, for free in my office and probably at the clinic. If you decide you want a diaphragm, you'll have to talk to a health care professional to get it fitted, and they'll show you how to insert and remove it.
"Next, birth control pills, which are a pill that, taken daily, prevents ovulation--which, if you don't know, is the release of the egg--by messing with the chemicals, called hormones, that cause it. It's very important to take these on time every day, as a skipped day could result in ovulation and, you know, pregnancy. For long-term birth control, you should consult a health care professional about what's right for you, but there are hormonal implants that last for a few years, along with IUDs--small devices implanted in the uterus that either release hormones to prevent ovulation or are made of copper, which kills sperm and prevents fertilization. There are also spermicidal gels on the market. Or, if you're absolutely sure you don't want kids, you can always try to talk a doctor into snipping or tying your tubes.
"Now, again, all of these methods prevent pregnancy. The only one that forms a barrier and prevents disease transmission is the condom. Which means we also need to discuss dental dams." Vanessa held up a seemingly innocuous piece of bright green latex. "This is a real one, but saran wrap works, too. Basically you just lay it over the vagina--or the anus, and yes, that's a thing--and go to town. Much like a guy can totally still feel everything through a condom, you can totally go down on someone with one of these between your mouth and their bits, and it will still be barrels of fun! And you should, unless you're in a committed relationship and you both have been tested and are clear of any STDs. Remember, that is the only time you should engage in unprotected sex.
"I have examples of all of these at the front of the room if anyone wants to see them, and I'm open for any questions you might have. I'd also like to hear about what birth control is like in your universes." She had a feeling it was really different.
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