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fandomhigh2016-08-08 06:16 am
captainskullpoopl) wrote in fandomhigh2016-08-08 06:16 am
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Relationships for Dummies, Monday - 2nd Period
Today, Vanessa was dressed rather patriotically: her t-shirt had ‘USA’ across the chest and she was holding a tiny American flag in one hand. Also, she looked rather smug. “So, you’re going to have arguments in relationships,” she said. “Over serious things and over trivial things like who should do the dishes. And you should definitely settle them like adults. And not settle them using your countries’ Olympic teams as proxies like we do.”
"Canada is a winter sport team!" Deadpool snapped, looking extra surly about his poor country's prospects vs that of the US. "You cheated me."
“Oh, like it’s my fault you were missing presumed dead during Sochi and didn’t get to reap the spoils,” Vanessa responded.
He threw his hands up in the air, not like he just didn't care, but more that he totally cared way too much about sports people forgot about move of the time. "In my defense, I'd been stabbed and burned alive. Which I think is equal to living through the Olympics for most people living at the locations."
Poor, poor Brazil. First the World Cup, now this.
“Remember, we’re not arguing,” Vanessa said brightly. “We’re setting a good example for the kids!” And then she waved her tiny flag. “Anyway, the point is that America rules and Canada drools, at least until November when I may be considering the benefits of Wade’s citizenship, but also, again: try not to resolve things through fighting. Unless you just really love makeup sex.”
Deadpool already had a hand up for a high-five over the potential to move to Canada in November, which Vanessa met without having to look at him. "Which we do. But you still need to work through your squabbles with talking. Or getting really good at going down on--"
“Wade!”
"...elevators?" he finished lamely.
“Or escalators!” Vanessa waved her flag again. “Go Team USA! Keep Wade doing the dishes all month!”
"Canada is a winter sport team!" Deadpool snapped, looking extra surly about his poor country's prospects vs that of the US. "You cheated me."
“Oh, like it’s my fault you were missing presumed dead during Sochi and didn’t get to reap the spoils,” Vanessa responded.
He threw his hands up in the air, not like he just didn't care, but more that he totally cared way too much about sports people forgot about move of the time. "In my defense, I'd been stabbed and burned alive. Which I think is equal to living through the Olympics for most people living at the locations."
Poor, poor Brazil. First the World Cup, now this.
“Remember, we’re not arguing,” Vanessa said brightly. “We’re setting a good example for the kids!” And then she waved her tiny flag. “Anyway, the point is that America rules and Canada drools, at least until November when I may be considering the benefits of Wade’s citizenship, but also, again: try not to resolve things through fighting. Unless you just really love makeup sex.”
Deadpool already had a hand up for a high-five over the potential to move to Canada in November, which Vanessa met without having to look at him. "Which we do. But you still need to work through your squabbles with talking. Or getting really good at going down on--"
“Wade!”
"...elevators?" he finished lamely.
“Or escalators!” Vanessa waved her flag again. “Go Team USA! Keep Wade doing the dishes all month!”
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