stickitupmyjinx (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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fandomhigh2016-06-13 01:43 am
stickitupmyjinx) wrote in fandomhigh2016-06-13 01:43 am
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Building Healthy Relationships, Monday, Period 4
"Let's talk about boundaries," Vanessa said today. "This may not actually be a concept you're familiar with, because I learned while researching--" Googling. She'd googled. "--for today's class that this has only really been a thing since the 1980s in my culture. So your culture might not even have it! But it's a useful concept, so, let's go. Basically personal boundaries are how far you let other people in--to your world, to your life, to knowledge of who you are. They mark the level of what you're comfortable discussing, the amount of touching you're okay with, what you're okay with another person knowing about you...daily life stuff like surprises and how much you're included in major decisions. It's all part of the umbrella concept. Now, your boundaries are going to differ from person to person--what I'm comfortable with with you guys is different from what I'm comfortable with with, say, my fiancee or my best friend. It's a really good idea to know where your own boundaries are, but sometimes that takes time to figure out, and sometimes you don't discover the line until someone steps across it. That's never fun, but, you know, it happens.
"Sometimes, because those boundaries are different from person to person, someone will overstep your boundaries, or you'll overstep theirs. When someone tells you something makes them uncomfortable, listen to them and respect their boundaries. Remember, just because someone's not comfortable with the same things as you are doesn't mean they're rejecting you. And when someone oversteps your boundaries, tell them. Ideally, in a civil conversation, but, you know, if some stranger grabs your ass in a bar, that's a violation of boundaries where you have my permission to deck the asshole.
"So, again because I know this is all really personal, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. But I want you to think about where your boundaries are, and times that either someone stepped over them, or you overstepped someone else's, and how you handled that. And if you'd like to share with the class and we can talk about it together, great. And if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask."
"Sometimes, because those boundaries are different from person to person, someone will overstep your boundaries, or you'll overstep theirs. When someone tells you something makes them uncomfortable, listen to them and respect their boundaries. Remember, just because someone's not comfortable with the same things as you are doesn't mean they're rejecting you. And when someone oversteps your boundaries, tell them. Ideally, in a civil conversation, but, you know, if some stranger grabs your ass in a bar, that's a violation of boundaries where you have my permission to deck the asshole.
"So, again because I know this is all really personal, if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. But I want you to think about where your boundaries are, and times that either someone stepped over them, or you overstepped someone else's, and how you handled that. And if you'd like to share with the class and we can talk about it together, great. And if anyone has any questions please feel free to ask."
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During the Lecture
Discussion Time
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Which was true. She didn't think she had.
But she totally had. Very much had.
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liedsaid easily. "Ain't like you get much privacy growin' up in a carnival, so pretty much the only boundary is b'tween 'family' an' 'not-family.'"And 'not-family' were to be trusted with anything personal about as far as you could throw them. Ada was... doing better with that. But she had reasons to be wary, and had seventeen years of her family telling her that outsiders couldn't be trusted that she was trying to overcome.
Talk to Vanessa
OOC