Kanan Jarrus, The Last Padawan (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
uncertain_dume) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2016-05-10 01:27 am
uncertain_dume) wrote in fandomhigh2016-05-10 01:27 am
Entry tags:
Off The Grid: Laying Low for Beginners, Tuesday, Period Two
"Let me tell you about my day, yesterday."
Yes, the slightly dissheveled man who was standing at the front of the classroom, hair pulled back in a ponytail and an empty blaster holster strapped to his hip, was, in fact, your teacher for this class. If you were here to learn how to avoid notice, you'd come to the right place.
"Yesterday, after being kidnapped by small, sentient rodents who wanted me to read mostly pointless gossip on an island-wide broadcast, I went out to get a sandwich. That's it. Just something to eat so I could have my second meal since arriving on this island. One thing led to another, and before the night was through I was sitting in some icy mountain range in the middle of nowhere, fending off these big angry white things - that I have since been informed are bears - using the contents of an entire hovercart of baradium bisulfate. You don't want to know why. Trust me on this."
It was because, following Eliot's advice to see if they had anywhere safe to store the cargo he'd been hauling on his freighter when Fandom had grabbed him, Kanan had taken one step into the Trooper Station, taken one look at the Troopers, muttered, "Nevermind," and then turned on his heel and walked right back out again. He'd explain the loss of his cargo to Okadiah later, if he ever made it back to Gorse.
"Long story made short, I now have a collection of bear teeth I have no use for, I'm short some cargo that Moonglow is going to be asking after if I ever make it home, and I didn't actually come up with a lesson plan for today."
But in turn, he didn't accidentally blow up half the town with a hovercart full of volatile cargo. And now he had more bear meat in his fridge and freezer than he knew what to do with. He didn't even have milk in his fridge, so.
"Still, not a disaster," he continued. "Because hey, if I've done my job right by the end of this workshop, improvisation is going to be a large part of your takeaway, here. So I might as well start, now. I'm Kanan Jarrus. Yes, this is a class about avoiding notice and keeping out of trouble, and yes, I am perfectly aware that if I wanted to avoid being noticed, teaching a class about avoiding it is more than a little counterproductive. Lesson one, don't get dragged into teaching random classes in strange galaxies when your ship randomly gets pulled into some kind of tear in space. Lesson two, and the one I'm going to put to work today for introductions, is learn how to tell a good story. It's a skill that we'll be working on polishing over the next few weeks, among other things, but today we're going to give it a bit of a warm-up. Introductions."
It was day two. Really, was anybody surprised, at this point?
"I want three things from you. Your name. What you're taking this class for. And what you did, yesterday. And one of those three things has to be a lie. Make it a good one. I'll be trying to see through those lies, but we'll be going through the rest of this class as though I'm taking them at face value, anyway. If, for example, you tell me you're actually a spice trader from the Outer Rim and yesterday you were playing a losing game of sabacc against a disgruntled Wookiee, you're going to have to keep up the act until the summer's end. I am going to ask if you ever won your favorite blaster back from Lowkazza later on. If you tell me your name is Lowkazza... you better answer to that one when somebody calls you by it. Maybe brush up on your Wookiee to really sell it. And if you tell me you're in this class because Lowkazza caught you cheating and you want to keep your arms in their sockets... You get the idea."
As for which of Kanan's three things - his name, what he'd been doing yesterday, or why he was stuck teaching this class - was the lie... well, he wasn't telling. He'd already put in his time, perfecting his act. He was certain his students would somehow find a way to cope.
"And if any of you storytellers has any interest in being my assistant for this class... sure, I could probably use one of those, too."
[OOC: OCD is up and class is ready to go!]
Yes, the slightly dissheveled man who was standing at the front of the classroom, hair pulled back in a ponytail and an empty blaster holster strapped to his hip, was, in fact, your teacher for this class. If you were here to learn how to avoid notice, you'd come to the right place.
"Yesterday, after being kidnapped by small, sentient rodents who wanted me to read mostly pointless gossip on an island-wide broadcast, I went out to get a sandwich. That's it. Just something to eat so I could have my second meal since arriving on this island. One thing led to another, and before the night was through I was sitting in some icy mountain range in the middle of nowhere, fending off these big angry white things - that I have since been informed are bears - using the contents of an entire hovercart of baradium bisulfate. You don't want to know why. Trust me on this."
It was because, following Eliot's advice to see if they had anywhere safe to store the cargo he'd been hauling on his freighter when Fandom had grabbed him, Kanan had taken one step into the Trooper Station, taken one look at the Troopers, muttered, "Nevermind," and then turned on his heel and walked right back out again. He'd explain the loss of his cargo to Okadiah later, if he ever made it back to Gorse.
"Long story made short, I now have a collection of bear teeth I have no use for, I'm short some cargo that Moonglow is going to be asking after if I ever make it home, and I didn't actually come up with a lesson plan for today."
But in turn, he didn't accidentally blow up half the town with a hovercart full of volatile cargo. And now he had more bear meat in his fridge and freezer than he knew what to do with. He didn't even have milk in his fridge, so.
"Still, not a disaster," he continued. "Because hey, if I've done my job right by the end of this workshop, improvisation is going to be a large part of your takeaway, here. So I might as well start, now. I'm Kanan Jarrus. Yes, this is a class about avoiding notice and keeping out of trouble, and yes, I am perfectly aware that if I wanted to avoid being noticed, teaching a class about avoiding it is more than a little counterproductive. Lesson one, don't get dragged into teaching random classes in strange galaxies when your ship randomly gets pulled into some kind of tear in space. Lesson two, and the one I'm going to put to work today for introductions, is learn how to tell a good story. It's a skill that we'll be working on polishing over the next few weeks, among other things, but today we're going to give it a bit of a warm-up. Introductions."
It was day two. Really, was anybody surprised, at this point?
"I want three things from you. Your name. What you're taking this class for. And what you did, yesterday. And one of those three things has to be a lie. Make it a good one. I'll be trying to see through those lies, but we'll be going through the rest of this class as though I'm taking them at face value, anyway. If, for example, you tell me you're actually a spice trader from the Outer Rim and yesterday you were playing a losing game of sabacc against a disgruntled Wookiee, you're going to have to keep up the act until the summer's end. I am going to ask if you ever won your favorite blaster back from Lowkazza later on. If you tell me your name is Lowkazza... you better answer to that one when somebody calls you by it. Maybe brush up on your Wookiee to really sell it. And if you tell me you're in this class because Lowkazza caught you cheating and you want to keep your arms in their sockets... You get the idea."
As for which of Kanan's three things - his name, what he'd been doing yesterday, or why he was stuck teaching this class - was the lie... well, he wasn't telling. He'd already put in his time, perfecting his act. He was certain his students would somehow find a way to cope.
"And if any of you storytellers has any interest in being my assistant for this class... sure, I could probably use one of those, too."
[OOC: OCD is up and class is ready to go!]
Re: Introductions!
Kanan was a great teacher, okay?
"Well, Dante, I hope we can do something about that boredom while we're here. You strike me as the kind of student who gets bored often, after all." Or who, at least, used glib replies like that one on a regular basis, regardless of how true they were. "Looks like you and your new friend are already making it worth your time. Don't worry, I won't ask later if you decided to show him your convertible."
Frankly, he didn't want to know anyway.
Re: Introductions!
"Oh, I don't have a convertible," he said easily. "Half the time those are just penis cars for old guys anyway. I got a motorcycle."
He gave Kanan a thumbs-up and a grin, 'cause he could.
Re: Introductions!
He'd stick with fast ships. Uh. Even if the Escape was currently in a different galaxy entirely. And ow, that made his heart hurt a little, right there.
"Well, at least we know you have better taste than old men with self-esteem issues, then," he decided, making up his mind to figure out what a motorcycle was, later. "Good job."
Re: Introductions!
Re: Introductions!
"Oh, come on. Give me a little more credit than that. Six or seven years at least," he countered, lightly. "So, goatees are a sign of denial or something in this galaxy, are they? I might have to shave, after all."
That wouldn't be happening. Goatees also happened to be a useful way of breaking up facial features on a face that was still too recognizable for his liking.
Re: Introductions!
Students got hit on. Authority figures got snarked at. That was the way Dante rolled.
Re: Introductions!
There was no way in hell he wanted to be one of the kids again. He hadn't even liked being called 'kid' when he had been one.
Re: Introductions!
Re: Introductions!
It would be easy, since he had no idea what either of those things were.