Off The Grid: Laying Low for Beginners, Tuesday, Period Two

[uncertain_dume]

"Let me tell you about my day, yesterday."

Yes, the slightly dissheveled man who was standing at the front of the classroom, hair pulled back in a ponytail and an empty blaster holster strapped to his hip, was, in fact, your teacher for this class. If you were here to learn how to avoid notice, you'd come to the right place.

"Yesterday, after being kidnapped by small, sentient rodents who wanted me to read mostly pointless gossip on an island-wide broadcast, I went out to get a sandwich. That's it. Just something to eat so I could have my second meal since arriving on this island. One thing led to another, and before the night was through I was sitting in some icy mountain range in the middle of nowhere, fending off these big angry white things - that I have since been informed are bears - using the contents of an entire hovercart of baradium bisulfate. You don't want to know why. Trust me on this."

It was because, following Eliot's advice to see if they had anywhere safe to store the cargo he'd been hauling on his freighter when Fandom had grabbed him, Kanan had taken one step into the Trooper Station, taken one look at the Troopers, muttered, "Nevermind," and then turned on his heel and walked right back out again. He'd explain the loss of his cargo to Okadiah later, if he ever made it back to Gorse.

"Long story made short, I now have a collection of bear teeth I have no use for, I'm short some cargo that Moonglow is going to be asking after if I ever make it home, and I didn't actually come up with a lesson plan for today."

But in turn, he didn't accidentally blow up half the town with a hovercart full of volatile cargo. And now he had more bear meat in his fridge and freezer than he knew what to do with. He didn't even have milk in his fridge, so.

"Still, not a disaster," he continued. "Because hey, if I've done my job right by the end of this workshop, improvisation is going to be a large part of your takeaway, here. So I might as well start, now. I'm Kanan Jarrus. Yes, this is a class about avoiding notice and keeping out of trouble, and yes, I am perfectly aware that if I wanted to avoid being noticed, teaching a class about avoiding it is more than a little counterproductive. Lesson one, don't get dragged into teaching random classes in strange galaxies when your ship randomly gets pulled into some kind of tear in space. Lesson two, and the one I'm going to put to work today for introductions, is learn how to tell a good story. It's a skill that we'll be working on polishing over the next few weeks, among other things, but today we're going to give it a bit of a warm-up. Introductions."

It was day two. Really, was anybody surprised, at this point?

"I want three things from you. Your name. What you're taking this class for. And what you did, yesterday. And one of those three things has to be a lie. Make it a good one. I'll be trying to see through those lies, but we'll be going through the rest of this class as though I'm taking them at face value, anyway. If, for example, you tell me you're actually a spice trader from the Outer Rim and yesterday you were playing a losing game of sabacc against a disgruntled Wookiee, you're going to have to keep up the act until the summer's end. I am going to ask if you ever won your favorite blaster back from Lowkazza later on. If you tell me your name is Lowkazza... you better answer to that one when somebody calls you by it. Maybe brush up on your Wookiee to really sell it. And if you tell me you're in this class because Lowkazza caught you cheating and you want to keep your arms in their sockets... You get the idea."

As for which of Kanan's three things - his name, what he'd been doing yesterday, or why he was stuck teaching this class - was the lie... well, he wasn't telling. He'd already put in his time, perfecting his act. He was certain his students would somehow find a way to cope.

"And if any of you storytellers has any interest in being my assistant for this class... sure, I could probably use one of those, too."

[OOC: OCD is up and class is ready to go!]

Comments

Sign In!

[uncertain_dume]

Telling a story!

Re: Sign In!

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante

Re: Sign In!

[vrajna_kralis]

Hyacinthe

Lecture!

[uncertain_dume]

Wonder why the hell your teacher was throwing highly volatile mining explosives at wild bears in an Azeroth mountainscape in the first place. Or work on your stories. Or... whatever you do, here. Kanan's never been on this side of a classroom before, he'll probably just roll with it.

Re: Lecture!

[vrajna_kralis]

Truly, this class and the one before it were classes that Hyacinthe could appreciate. It seemed that Delaunay had not been kidding when he had mentioned honing Hyacinthe's potential. Though he resented the implication that he needed assistance running a con.

Still, he was inclined to sit back and enjoy the man's tale, wishing he had a cup of ale to offer when he was done.

Re: Lecture!

[cracksmostly]

Merrill was not so much wondering about what her teacher had been doing in the mountains (she didn't have a clue what baradium bisulfate was anyway) as worrying about why the bears had been so angry.

And frowning. This seemed like the kind of class Anders would have found useful for the same reasons she did, and she hadn't seen him since they'd spoken last week. This was probably -- well, definitely -- a bad sign, especially since she was sure she'd spotted Cassandra at the picnic.

Introductions!

[uncertain_dume]

Two truths and a lie style! Your name, why you're taking this class, and what you were doing yesterday, and one of those things needs to be a lie. A believable one, preferably.

Students, feel free to critique the stories of your peers. Call it a learning experience.

Just be aware that, whatever your lie, you're going to be stuck with it for the rest of the semester. Make it one you think you can keep track of.

Re: Introductions!

[rebelseekspizza]

"I'm Dante, I was bored, and yesterday I banged two blondes in the back of a convertible," Dante said casually, and smirked at Rambling New Teacher Guy. "Cheers."

Okay, so it was more like he was playing A Truth, A Lie And Half A Lie, but who was keeping track, really?

Re: Introductions!

[vrajna_kralis]

"What is a convertible?" Hyacinthe asked, more because Dante was as pretty as a D'Angeline than because he wanted to know what a convertible was.

He did want to know, of course, but really, it was the pretty that made him speak up.

Re: Introductions!

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan crossed his arms over his chest and smirked, letting the two boys have their conversation. Maybe he was supposed to care enough to stop them from... apparently arranging hook-ups in class? But this was introductions day, and now that they'd exchanged addresses, he could let them do whatever they wanted to do in their own time.

Kanan was a great teacher, okay?

"Well, Dante, I hope we can do something about that boredom while we're here. You strike me as the kind of student who gets bored often, after all." Or who, at least, used glib replies like that one on a regular basis, regardless of how true they were. "Looks like you and your new friend are already making it worth your time. Don't worry, I won't ask later if you decided to show him your convertible."

Frankly, he didn't want to know anyway.

Re: Introductions!

[boneyard_girl]

Ada was just going to snicker and throw a wadded-up ball of paper at the back of Dante's head. Because terrible.

Re: Introductions!

[vrajna_kralis]

"My name is Hyacinthe," he said in a golden tenor when it was his turn. "And I am taking this class to help me avoid a jealous husband or--" He pretended to count on his fingers "--three back home. And a jealous wife, though I believe she wishes to indulge as well and I cannot countenance hers."

He smiled, both at the joke and the idea that a D'Angeline could ever be unpleasant to look upon this sentence just for you, Shannon!.

"Does this class give me the skills to avoid jealous spouses now and in the future, I shall consider myself well-pleased. As for what I did yesterday?" He gave an eloquent shrug. "A bit of this, a bit of that, received directions to my dorm from a moose, and moved in."

Re: Introductions!

[uncertain_dume]

Even if Kanan had known what a moose was, after the week he'd been having, he probably wouldn't have doubted that one right away. And there didn't seem to be anything odd about the boy's name, but then, Kanan was used to the kind of variety that an entire galaxy of names could offer.

Either way, he grinned a little. If this kid didn't have jealous husbands (and one wife) after him now, it wasn't hard to picture him having that problem down the road. His little demonstration with Dante had proven that much. Good on him. Pick the easy lie to keep track of.

"Well, Hyacinthe, I hope the moving in went as smoothly as can be expected after having to get your directions from a... moose? They're notoriously stubborn, after all." Yeah. Still didn't know what a moose was. "And if the class gives you any insight at all about dealing with those husbands... and that wife, hey, I'll have done my job. In the meantime, try not to rack up too many more husbands while you're on the island, hm?"

Re: Introductions!

[boneyard_girl]

Ada was doing her best not to giggle at the melodramatics, really, she was. But he was acting just like a cousin and, well, he was cute. Which is why she was trying not to laugh. Last thing any cousin needed was a bigger ego.

Re: Introductions!

[snipsnspecks]

"My name's Ahsoka, and I'm here because my brother thinks he's funny." A lie within a lie there. "Yesterday I took Master Skywalker's flight class."

Re: Introductions!

[uncertain_dume]

It was the 'Master Skywalker' part that punched Kanan in the guts, a little. Aside from his conversation with Obi-Wan on Saturday, he hadn't heard anybody use the word 'Master' that way since...

Since a long time ago.

Kanan had gotten good at tamping reactions to that sort of thing down, at least, over the years, and he gave a nod, then. There was something vaguely familiar about her, like a face he'd seen in passing, a lifetime ago. And most faces he'd seen in passing that long ago...

Something to mull over another time, he supposed. He gave the Togruta girl a smile that belied the uneasy feeling in the pit of his guts.

"Well, Ahsoka," he said, "I've heard some amazing things about his abilities as a pilot. Hopefully that class will serve you well. Hopefully this one will, too, for that matter. Wouldn't want your brother to think he had the upper hand, after all."

Re: Introductions!

[vrajna_kralis]

...This girl wasn't human. At first, he'd thought that she just wore some kind of weird cultural facepaint and some kind of headdress, but the more he looked at her (and her features were pretty enough, so of course he was looking!), the more he realized that, no, that was the hue of her skin and her headdress was attached to her head. Because it was part of it. Or something.

So sorry, Ahsoka. But even on this island of marvels, Hyacinthe was shocked to see you.

Re: Introductions!

[boneyard_girl]

"Ada Miller, of 'th Miller Family Carnival," she said, sweeping a carnie-bow with a bright grin. "I took th' class because it sounds fun, an' yesterday I had a class on 'Healthy Relationships.'"

Truth, a lie, and another truth. Uncle Chester had signed her up for the class, as a reminder to always be cautious around Townies, but Ada wasn't complaining. She did think it sounded fun.

Re: Introductions!

[uncertain_dume]

"Well, hey there, Ada," Kanan replied, giving her a smirk and a smuggler's nod in turn. He'd worn a lot of hats over the years. Some of them were almost of a similar stripe, in many regards.

He was no stranger to the carnie mindset.

"Only a place like this one would have a class about relationships, I suppose," he mused as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So, you figure the class will be fun, hm? Looking forward to picking up anything in particular?"

Not that he still didn't have a syllabus or anything. There had been bears, okay? They were like Wampas, but without the horns.

Re: Introductions!

[omgnochecksyet]

"Eric Bittle, I'm here because I'm trying to learn different ways to not end up stuffed in lockers because people think it's funny, and yesterday I took my sibling out to pick up some new clothes." Well, yesterday he'd made plans to do so. Look, his life was not nearly as exciting as some of his classmates.

Re: Introductions!

[giveherahand]

"I'm Mara Jade," she began in a crisp Imperial accent, "and last semester I took a course about lying, so this seemed like the logical follow-up." She gave Kanan a bright smile. "I think the moose in the office delights in putting me in strange classes. I'm a dancer from Imperial Center, and yesterday I practiced a new routine for most of the afternoon. It wasn't nearly as interesting as your day."

Re: Introductions!

[cracksmostly]

These two-truths-and-a-lie introductions were going to be what gave Merrill her start in trolling people, honestly.

"I'm Merrill, and -- well, there's a lot of people at home I need to be able to avoid just because they don't like who I am. And yesterday, what did I do yesterday? I can't really -- oh! I went across the causeway and explored that city over there, and I didn't get lost once!"

Okay, that was probably not a believable lie, at least not if you were aware that she still took, at minimum, five wrong turns a day on her way around campus. But she seemed so excited about the prospect!

Talk to Kanan!

[uncertain_dume]

Who is at least mostly certain he got most of the Shardtooth bits out of his hair.

OOC!

[uncertain_dume]

But no really, I need a TA. If anybody is interested, I am now accepting volunteers!

Re: OOC!

[that_oldsaying]

Can, can I help? I can help! Papa says I'm good at helping!