fandomhigh | Jack of All Trades, Wednesday, Per 1

"A'ight, so let's get somethin' clear," Hardison said, standing in front of a portal. "I ain't one for the Great Outdoors. If we'd'a been meant to spend a lot of time outside, we ain't never would have invented video games an' the internet." Somewhere, Eliot was hitting his head against the wall and had no idea why. Okay, that's not true, he probably knew exactly why: somewhere, somehow, Hardison was doing something to annoy him. "But not everyone sees these logically, an' there are whole sports an' activities devoted to bein' outside. Where the bugs are."

Look, you guys were getting an outdoor class, but it was going to come with Opinions whether you liked it or not. "Fortunately, some of 'em at least use enough tech to make it easier to forget you're trampin' around in the woods, where the air smells funny, an' there are probably racist, right-wing militias waitin' around to kidnap you." Because that's what happened when you were outside! "One of those activities is Geochachin', which combines the fun of a treasure hunt with useful skills like orienteerin' an' map-readin' an...I dunno, stuff like that. Trail-blazin', maybe?"

Again, entirely not his bag. "Since this is class an' you're supposed to be learnin' stuff, we're goin' old-school today." Look at his disappointment, class. Look at it. "Rather than downloadin' coordinates to your GPS an' sendin' you out to find the exact location of the cache, we're gonna do this like it's 1986." He started handing out packs. Inside those packs were maps, along with compasses, canteens of water, binoculars, pencils and water-resistant pads, and several other ~~moddable~~ useful items. "There are a list of coordinates on your pad. Each coordinate can be found in the area on your map. It's up to you to figure out how to turn the coordinates into points on the map, then to read the map well enough to figure out how to get to those caches. You do it right, there's be a cache filled with goodies an' stuff for y'all to keep. Ready? Any questions?"

Once he'd answered any questions they had, it was off through the portal, which led them to Rock State Park.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

In the Great Outdoors

Raven Darkholme

Ada Miller

Kaylin Neya

Hanna Heller

Edited 2016-03-24 00:31 (UTC)

Garik Loran

Feel free to ask questions before going through the portal.

Once you're at the park, you'll be met by a ranger who goes through a fifteen minute demonstration on how to read maps and use a compass, orienteering, and safety while hiking through the woods. She also passes out handouts on how to recognize typical hazards, like poison ivy and brambles and the like.

At the end of the ranger's lecture, Hardison passes out earbuds. "These go in your ear now an' only come out when we're back on the island," he said, looking unusually serious. "You get into any trouble, you tap it and speak, I'll hear you. They got GPS--" and a bunch of other modifications, including passive monitoring, just to make sure no one got hurt or unconscious without Hardison being aware "--an' if you run into trouble, you get yourself somewhere safe an' stay there. We'll come for you."

The ranger objected. "There's nothing that dangerous--"

"Minors," Hardison said. "Lawsuit."

The park ranger shut up.

You have your maps, coordinates, and compasses! Go forth and find geocaches!

Fifteen caches have been ~~handwavily~~ hidden. Find as many as you'd like. The treasures inside are moddable, with things like candy, gift cards, toys, and the like stashed inside. Take some, leave the rest for your fellow classmates.

Assuming she's still in people-form, which Hardison is not betting on.

Well, she tried turning into a bunny, but her earbud fell out. She was a little afraid if she went bigger instead of smaller, it'd fall in.

So, yes, she's people-shaped, just now. A little grumpy about it, too.

He's sitting at a bench, grumbling about retasking satellites again, and keeping watch on everyone over comms.

The racist militia happened one time!

100% OF THE TIME I HAVE SPENT IN THE WOODS, I HAVE DEALT WITH RACIST MILITIAS!

You know what's happened more often than you dealing with racist militias in the words?

ALMOST EVERYTHING.

Oh, it's real easy for you to be blase 'bout this, since they weren't all about killin' you as much!

They were JUST as into killing me. You did notice the part where they were angrier about the IRS thing more than they were angry about the race thing, right?

Hey, man, don't underestimate what an ignorant racist can be angry about at one time!

I didn't say they WEREN'T a bunch of racist shit heads! People try to kill me all the time for stupid reasons, and you don't see ME refusin' to go outside ever again!

Hey, hold up! I have PLENTY of reasons not to go outside! Like the lack of electricity! Gettin' pneumonia! You hate DJ Roomba!

I don't hate DJ Roomba, it's just got no place on a goddamn camping trip!

Who else was gonna play the tunes for the dance party?

Both of us play actual musical instruments.

Cause Scheherazade is so danceable!

Sure it is.

. . . I used to date a ballet dancer.

'Course you did.

Wait, didn't Kitty used to do ballet? Aww, we did miss out.

Miss out on what?

You got sick the last time we went camping. If we have to camp, it needs to be a warm place. With beds.

*Points to Parker*

You heard the Mastermind!

Jack of All Trades, Wednesday, Per 1

Sign In Week 11

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Listen to the Lecture

Orienteer! Geochache! Whatever!

Talk to the TA

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