fandomhigh | Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

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Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

"Top o' th' mornin' to ye all!" Pinkie greeted the students as they arrived for class. Somepony had spent the evening googling St. Patrick's Day. Somepony also had a series of large, strategically placed shamrocks attached to her, like a festive, awkwardly shaped bikini.

It -- wasn't a good look. If nothing else, that green clashed horribly with her natural pink color.

Eliot was standing by, wearing a few less layers than normal, his hair a windblown mess, glaring down every shamrock that blew his way. "St. Patrick's Day in this country is a travesty." Spending a few years working above an Irish pub in Boston in March had made him a touch jaded, yes. "So we're goin' to Ireland instead."

"We be goin' to a loverly little close called 'Blarney Castle'!" Pinkie explained. "Fer those who don' know th' legend, givin' th' Blarney Stone a wee peck bestows upon ye a blessin', th' Irish gift fer th' gab!"

"Please stop," Eliot muttered. It was worse than when Hardison tried to do -- basically any accent. He led the way through the portal to a cheerful, naturally green landscape, incredibly warm for March, where a weathered stone keep dominated the view. "Some of you may have heard that the locals like to get trashed and go pee all over the Blarney Stone after hours. Honestly, I can't say that ain't true." Eliot pointed to the top corner of the keep. "But the stone's part of the battlements there, and while it ain't as awkward to piss on it as it is to try to kiss it, they'd still have to drag their drunk asses up a narrow, worn down stone staircase with a rope banister to do it. So make of that what you will."

"There's also lots to explore on the grounds," Pinkie said, the absolutely atrocious Irish accent gone with the shamrocks since she went through the portal. "Gardens and stone passages and magic rocks galore! Apparently the Irish really love their magic rocks."

"Or at least the Irish tourists do," Eliot said. "By the way, it ain't March around here, today. This place'd be even more overrun by obnoxious tourists if we showed up on the actual St. Patrick's Day. So enjoy a little bit of last May, explore, buy some tacky shit in the gift shop, try to catch a bus into town to find a pub." He shrugged. "Have fun."

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"Well, they haven't calculated financial aid yet, so I might get more, but I'm also moving in with my roommate, Raven. We're going to look for a place nearby campus, unless I somehow get magically, extremely lucky with the housing lottery and end up being able to choose an apartment that's actually on campus."

Though, as a freshman, how lucky could she possibly get?

"They do a lottery for housing?" Eliot, having never been to college and only really knowing about it from movies and a job in which people had tried -- amateurishly -- to torture him, had absolutely no idea how any of that worked. "Raven's going to the same school, huh? She get a scholarship, too?"

"Yup," Kathy said. "The computer generates a date and time for you to log in and sign up for your preferred housing and depending on where you are, there's more housing available for you to claim. Freshmen generally get lowest priority, though, so who knows? We'll probably have to search off-campus. But it's worth it to get to keep living with Raven."

She was already leaving one best friend behind after she graduated, she'd be damned if she'd leave the other!

"She's not going to Stanford. She didn't want to go to college." Which Kathy absolutely did not get, but would be supportive of anyway. "But Stanford's about an hour away from San Fran and a short flight away from LA, so she's got options for what to do next."

"They let non-students live on campus?" Eliot asked. "Off campus might be a better compromise, too, if she's gonna be travellin' a lot."

Kathy nodded. "On-campus will likely be cheaper, but it could get complicated." She blushed. "I was thinking about asking Mr. Hardison if he'd be able to list Raven in the housing system just so we could live on campus if that's what was easiest. But we're going to have to go out there and explore for sure."

"He could, yeah." Eliot's opinion of Hardison's hacking skills were equivalent to Hardison's of Eliot's fighting skills: it was fucking magic and he could do anything. "We can help out other ways if you need, too. Hell, you keep up the crime fightin' while you're studyin', and I don't mind seein' about setting you up with a salary for that."

Or, you know, a salary for existing in the world. But he figured Kathy would insist on there be some sort of 'work' being done to 'earn' the money.

Of course she would! She didn't want to take advantage!

"Would that mean that I'd actually be working for Leverage?" Kathy asked, looking excited. "Subcontracting for, if nothing else?"

A way for her to continue to be Banzai, even while taking classes? That would be very hard to say no to.

"Don't see why not. We're apparently going to end up with all sorts of interns and things." Or, you know, children. However you wanted to name them. "You're doin' good work. Someone oughta make sure you can afford to eat while you're at it."

She'd be able to afford a hell of a lot more than that. Leverage paid incredible wages.

The first time she got a paycheck, Kathy would be calling Eliot in a panic to ask if she was getting paid quarterly. And then probably get on the phone with Hardison to figure out what the hell he was doing with tax withholding.

"Eating would be nice," Kathy said wistfully, thinking of how many calories she consumed in a day. "As is being able to pay for rent. The Bay Area's even more expensive to live in than LA. By like a third, I think."

"Around the college it'll be a little cheaper," Eliot predicted. "Just because they know who they're rentin' to. But maybe not by a whole lot."

"That's why I was originally thinking of renting on campus," Kathy said. "Or heck, even getting a dorm and just pretending that Raven went to school there. This way, room and board pays for everything." Kathy bit her lip, thinking. "But I don't want her to feel trapped on-campus, either. So, yeah, if I could work for Leverage as Banzai, that might just make everything a million times easier."

Kathy would happily give up living on campus to get to stick with Raven. A million times over, even.

Eliot nodded and stuck out his right hand for a shake. "Alright then. You're hired."

What? They could pay her before she even left and she'd have some nice savings built up.

Kathy blinked, dazed. She hadn't expected this to happen quite so fast. "Don't you have to check with Parker?"

And, sure, Hardison, but Parker was obviously in charge.

Parker was in charge of planning jobs. She wasn't the CEO or head of HR or anything. Besides: "I known Parker awhile now. Don't think she's gonna object." Well. "She might assign you to practice jumping off more roofs."

Actually, the narrative would like to pause a second and savor the idea of Parker as head of HR. Mmm yeah, that was the stuff.

"I could handle that," Kathy assured him, bouncing now in excitement. "I'd even use harnesses and gear, rather than just bouncing my way down if she wanted! And I can write reports and things back, so you can keep track of how I'm performing out in the Bay Area."

Because Eliot would definitely want status reports to make sure Kathy was doing her job. Ayup.

Eliot would critique the hell out of those status reports and send them back marked up with further ideas for defense and patrolling.

And completely missing any errors she might make in spelling, grammar, or formatting.

"See? You're the best employee we've got already."

Pfft, that suggested she made errors in grammar, spelling, or formatting. Though the ideas for defense and patrols would be poured over and memorized, and maps and candid aerial shots would be sent back for better refinement.

"I might also be your only employee," Kathy said with a smile. "But I'm not going to let that stand in the way of a good compliment."

Everyone made errors in grammar, spelling, and formatting. Not because they were dumb. Just because they were human.

"Well, word gets out, and I'm sure we'll get all sorts of superheros applying. They'll have a hell of a standard to live to, though."

That's why rereading and revision were important! If Eliot thought that Kathy wasn't going to approach this as an assignment and hand in her best work each time, he clearly hadn't met her.

"Well, in summers, maybe I'll come back and show them how it's done," Kathy told him, her face hurting from smiling so much. "I love this place too much to just abandon it completely. It's where I first learned who I was. And to like it."

"You should!" Eliot loved that idea. "Come teach a superhero workshop. You'd be fantastic."

"Oh my gosh, I could!" Kathy went starry-eyed. "I hadn't even thought about it that way, but I could! Or--Or--we could even teach a class together."

"I don't really know anything about bein' a superhero, darlin'."

"No, but you know a million other things," Kathy pointed out, because Eliot was amazing and no one could tell her otherwise. "Urban survival. Reconnaissance. Self-defense. Do you honestly think I'd be even a quarter of the superhero I am if it weren't for you?"

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Oh the Humanity!: Friendship is International Adventure, Thursday, period 1

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