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fandomhigh2016-01-11 12:14 am
thisguyright.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2016-01-11 12:14 am
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Practical Phys Ed, Monday, Period 3
"Hey, everyone. Welcome back," Fred greeted. Yes, class was in the shop again. Yes, the shop looked like a gym again. Yes, there was going to be absolutely no reason why this class couldn't be done in a normal gym. "One of the most important things in life is conditioning, and so you're going to find that a lot of our classes involve running. Why? Because running is good for conditioning. Also, running is important for life. It's the solution to and an excuse for being late! Just run, and then look all sweaty and disheveled and everyone will believe you when you claim you tried to be there on time. It's not going to help you in any way, but at least they'll know you tried. It's a moral victory. That you lied about."
"But there are other things to run to, and plenty of things to run away from," Fred stressed. "Monsters, people holding various kinds of tests, the police if you're white so you can get away with it." What? He ran away from the police ALL THE TIME. He got Spider-Man punches to the face more often than he got clean shots from cops. When's the last time you heard from Hypno-Hustler? Okay, he probably retired due to having the dumbest villain theme ever, but you can't prove that. "So. Running. You're going to run today. And then at the end of class, three laps. Look, I don't make the rules about laps at the end of the day. I mean, I do, but you still have to do them."
"Oh, and let's make this interesting. Let's tilt this fake gym," Fred said, making the first paragraph into a lie while he hit some buttons on a remote. "The first length will slope up 2 degrees, the second length will be flat, the third will slope down at 1 degree, and the fourth length will have lights flickering on and off like a rave. Start running!"
"But there are other things to run to, and plenty of things to run away from," Fred stressed. "Monsters, people holding various kinds of tests, the police if you're white so you can get away with it." What? He ran away from the police ALL THE TIME. He got Spider-Man punches to the face more often than he got clean shots from cops. When's the last time you heard from Hypno-Hustler? Okay, he probably retired due to having the dumbest villain theme ever, but you can't prove that. "So. Running. You're going to run today. And then at the end of class, three laps. Look, I don't make the rules about laps at the end of the day. I mean, I do, but you still have to do them."
"Oh, and let's make this interesting. Let's tilt this fake gym," Fred said, making the first paragraph into a lie while he hit some buttons on a remote. "The first length will slope up 2 degrees, the second length will be flat, the third will slope down at 1 degree, and the fourth length will have lights flickering on and off like a rave. Start running!"
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