fandomhigh | Pony Express: Friendship is Cultural Exchange! Wednesday, period 1

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Pony Express: Friendship is Cultural Exchange! Wednesday, period 1

Pinkie waved the class over excitedly as they gathered outside the Portalocity office for the day's trip. "I have a very special surprise for everypony today!" Pinkie cheered. "I was talking with Twilight about how great it was that you all get to see Equestria but that you don't really get the full feel of it with the Portalocity portals -- plus that whole thing where they dumped us in a fire swamp instead of the town and we almost missed the pie eating contest -- and we came up with the BEST IDEA!"

A shimmering pink glow appeared in the air beside Pinkie, wobbling and nearly winking out for a moment before suddenly exploding into an enormous magical pink bubble. At the center of the bubble appeared Twilight Sparkle, looking a bit different from the last time the class had seen her, way back in September. She had wings now, for one, and was slightly taller. And she wore a crown.

The look of awkward geekish wonder hadn't changed, though.

"Hello there, students!" she greeted, while Pinkie beamed. "Everyone gather around, and I'll teleport us to Equestria. I'm not SUPER sure what the range on this is, so try to stick close."

"If you miss it," Pinkie said, "there'll be a portal from Portalocity in a minute. But it won't be nearly as special!"

Twilight nodded, and when everyone seemed gathered well enough, bent her head down and concentrated, sending pink sparks up from her horn. The pink bubble reappeared around the students, and when it popped again, they were all standing at the base of a rocky cliff.

Standing on all fours, that is.

"It worked!" Pinkie cheered. "Welcome to being PONIES in Equestria, everypony! I'M SO EXCITED!"

"I'm so glad it worked," Twilight said. "But -- Pinkie, this isn't the Crystal Empire. I think those are the Crystal Mountains over there, but it looks like I -- missed."

"Awww, that's alright, Twilight! I'm sure this place will be just as fun!" Pinkie looked over to the nearby village, her bright expression faltering a little. "The . . . especially tiny town where everypony's smiles look -- not -- RIGHT --"

Pinkie scowled. It was a strange expression on her face. One she did not wear easily.

"Now what in the fucking shit is this?!"

It seemed some of Fandom had finally worn off on her, after all these years. . . .

[ooc: this is it, folks, pony class time! There's a pony generator here if you need it for icons!]

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Ponified!

Hanna Heller

Kathy Li

Alex Mack

Cecil Gershwin Palmer

Alana

Eric Bittle

There really will be a Portalocity portal shortly. But come on, getting to turn into a pony for a class period is way more fun!

Fun, but also very startling. Hanna kept swinging her head and realizing she had to be careful with that horn. Also, what was that thing on her flank?

Being a pony was only the first of the surprises in store for Kathy. Upon realizing that she was standing on four legs instead of two had her rearing back in surprise--which was when she realized she had wings to go along with her new equestrian silhouette. Looking back at her wings made her aware that she was wearing something--a bodysuit made out of some stretchy white fabric that covered her face, too?

It was spotting the rainbows by her hooves that finally clued her in. It was her gi. Somehow, Twilight Sparkle had changed her from human-Kathy to pony-Banzai! That had some interesting implications.

Though perhaps not as much as the words that Pinkie was using right now.

Well this was definitely a different experience, Alex was actually finding that turning into a pony wasn't all that bad, it was just taking some getting used to.

Oh! Cecil blinked. It had been a while since he'd found himself in a different body. He took a couple careful steps, getting used to the whole four-footed thing.

Oo, he had the WTNV icon on his side! Nifty! And purple really was his color.

Once she figured out what had happened, Alana couldn't stop hopping around and fluttering her wings. It was a weird experience for sure -- she generally preferred being her usual shape, thanks -- but not one she could complain about.

Pinkie was really very unimpressed with this tiny little village. Sure, everypony was smiling bright and wide, but those were some fake-ass smiles. Smiles shouldn't be fake!

"Well hi there!" said one of the stallions, a white pony with a white mane and a weird sort of Jimmy Stuart voice. He had a pair of solid black bars on his flank that Pinkie scowled at almost as hard as she did at his smile. "Gosh, it's been ages since we've had such a large group of new ponies come through our town! Welcome!"

"Welcome!" called another pony, in exactly the same inflection. She also had the same black bars as her cutie mark.

"Welcome!" said another. And another.

They all had the same hair styles, too.

"What kinda creepy dystopic dictator bull is this?" Pinkie howled.

"Really now," another voice said, this one from a purple pony with streaks of pink in her mane. She was much more boldly colored than the other ponies, though she had the same black bar cutie mark. "That doesn't sound very happy. I think maybe a trip through our town here might be just what you need!"

And then she whistled, summoning all the ponies around her to burst into song.

There's . . . not much to it. There's a bakery! Everything they make tastes like sawdust.

Also the Resistance Headquarters is in the basement.

Yeah, okay, that song was weird. It reminded Kathy a lot of the creepiest part of A Fold in Space. She idly wondered where the 're-education cells' were. If they didn't bounce balls and jump rope in time, were they sent there?

She's pretty clearly the dystopic dictator of the town. Maybe she can be reasoned with?

Alana trotted over, not sure what she expected but more than willing to give it a go. Her sympathy was with the creepy people.

"Hi," she said. "So ... nice town you have here."

"Isn't it just?" Starlight said. "Why, I bet it's just about the nicest town in all of Equestria!"

"Everybody seems very polite," Alana said, straining for a non-insulting way to put it. "Very ... unified."

"That's because they are!" Starlight gushed. "That's the really wonderful part about having a completely equal society. There's no need for any strife when everypony is exactly the same!"

How very Harrison Bergeron of her!

"But isn't it nice to have people be different, too?" Alana asked. "Like, I'm from a different place than most of my friends, and we don't totally agree about everything, but they're still my friends."

"Well now I know that might seem nice at first. But that's probably because you haven't been on one hundred percent, totally equal footing with anypony before."

"But that's impossible," Alana said, forgetting to be so carefully polite. "Someone's always going to be taller or smarter or prettier. You can't all be exactly the same."

"Well aren't you just clever," Starlight sniped back, forgetting herself briefly in return, before slapping her bright happy grin back in place. "There are some things you can't control for. But that just makes it more important to even out the things you can! That's why everypony here has given up their cutie mark. By giving up their special talents, they've actively worked to become more equal to their neighbors, and promote peace!"

"Gave up their ..." Alana repeated, looking around the oh-so-perfect town and noticing that the ponies' flanks were indeed bare. It felt wrong.

"But doesn't that hurt everybody?" she asked. "Aren't some of the skills things you need, even if they aren't all totally peaceful all the time?"

"We make do," Starlight said. Try one of the muffins from the bakery, Alana. They're awful. "Just because somepony isn't the best at something doesn't mean they can't do it at all."

"... I guess you're right about that," Alana said slowly. It still seemed wrong, but she couldn't come up with a good argument. "I mean, if you're willing for everything to be just okay."

"It seems like a small sacrifice to make for peace," Starlight said. "So . . . would you maybe be interested in joining us, then?"

"No," Alana said, a little too fast. "I -- I graduate in a few months, and then I need to go home. So, I already have plans, you know?"

"Well if you're sure," Starlight said doubtfully. "You're of course free to go as you wish, but nopony ever actually decides to leave."

Because that wasn't foreboding at all.

"Can't Pinkie Pie's friend get us home?" Alana asked, suspicious.

"Well, I'm sure if they got you here, they're probably able to. Assuming they haven't decided to stay themselves."

Spoiler alert: she can't be reasoned with.

There's lots of fun propaganda being pumped in, though!

In sameness, there is peace. Exceptionalism is a lie.
Difference is frustration. To excel is to fail.
Be your best by never being your best.
Conformity will set you free.
Accept your limitations, and happiness will follow.
You're no better than your friends.

There might be actual blue streaks coming out of her mouth.

They were rather nice blue streaks!

"Are you okay?" he asked Pinkie. "You seem a bit upset."

"It's all wrong!" Pinkie stamped her hoof. "Smiles are supposed to be because you're happy, not because -- because -- just because!"

Pinkie's entire sense of self was built on making other ponies smile. Those fake ass smiles were personally offensive to her.

...those are some freaking terrifyingly happy ponies.

ARE THEY THOUGH? ARE THEY REALLY? PINKIE SEES THROUGH THEIR LIES!

Every time I watch it I keep waiting for somepony to describe something as "doupleplusungood".

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Pony Express: Friendship is Cultural Exchange! Wednesday, period 1

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Get portaled!

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Welcome to Our Town!

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