fandomhigh | Speech, Tuesday, September 22, 2015

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Speech, Tuesday, September 22, 2015

"Today we're going to work on our diction," Josh said. "You can have the most amazing speech on paper, but if no one can hear you saying it, it's not going to do a lot of good, right?"

He didn't wait for a response because he was Josh, and let's be real, he very rarely waited for anyone else to talk.

"Everyone stand up. We'll start with easy stuff, then work our way to Gilbert and Sullivan."

Oh, you wish he was kidding.

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Repeat after Josh:

"Bill had a billboard.
Bill also had a board bill.
The board bill bored Bill,
So Bill sold his billboard
And paid his board bill.
Then the board bill
No longer bored Bill,
But though he had no board bill,
Neither did he have his billboard!"

Because Face could be kind of a smartass, he mimicked Josh as closely as he could during the exercise.

Josh is slightly sorry about this one:

"Theophilus Thistler, the thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb."

Face repeated his mimicking Josh trick, though this time after he finished the tongue twister he added "...dirty?"

He'd been reading smutty poetry all Sunday, words like 'thrust' and anything that might have a dirty double meaning a stood out.

"As long as he's not doing it on the subway, sure, whatever he wants," Josh said.

Time to sing!

~~Blame Aaron Sorkin's obsession with G&S~~

'I am the very model of a modern Major-General;
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral;
I know the Kings of England, and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous,
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.'

Kathy was grinning when it was her turn. Only instead of the verse Josh had provided, she sang,

"I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.

Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus's uniform:c
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General."

Josh applauded. "You know Gilbert and Sullivan?"

Kathy beamed up at him. "We--my sister and I--watched a lot of PBS as kids. So I grew up with Danny Kaye and Gilbert and Sullivan movies."

"You're just the nerdiest ever, aren't you?" Josh said, sounding delighted.

He was also the nerdiest ever.

Kathy flushed a little, but nodded. "Pretty much," she said because there was no use denying it. "I even wrote a critical essay on the Mikado last year for my AP English Lit and Composition class about the depiction of East Asian race and culture. I compared it to Madame Butterfly."

Which had also been in heavy rotation growing up.

"Oooh," Josh said, looking impressed. "Do you still have a copy around? I'd love to read it."

"I've got a copy on my laptop," Kathy offered. "It was my capstone project for the class. I can email it to you? Though, uhh, as a warning, I'm not really flattering to either one."

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Speech, Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Exercises!

B's!

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S's!

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