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Health- Monday- 3rd period

Health was taking place in a normal classroom, because everyone here might be used to crazy but Claire was from somewhere (mostly) normal and also she had no idea how to work the Danger Shop. And on a table in the back was an array of supplies. She'd get to that.

"Morning, guys, and welcome to Health. I'm... Ms. Temple, I guess," Claire said, and it was probably pretty obvious that was weird, "and in real life, I'm an ER nurse in New York. But for now I'm here, and giving you guys and education. While we're here, we're going to be learning about some basic first aid, along with some nutrition and mental health and drug education. If there's anything you're not comfortable with, just tell me. You don't have to tell me why. But for now, since it's the first week and I know none of you and I know people here are from different places, I want you to tell me who you are and where you come from, and then we're going to get to an activity."

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And then you got to say what you chose and why. Whee!

"The very most important thing for my kit is this flask," Frank said. "You didn't have one laid out there, but no worries, I brought my own. It's filled with life-saving liquor, and the flask itself is bullet-proof and most-spell-proof to protect the liquor. Also, if I'm shot at with a bullet or most spells while it's in my jacket pocket, it can protect me. And preventative medicine is the second best kind of medicine."

"That's... am I being punked?" Claire wondered.

"Anything's possible. But since that term is lost on me, I'm betting I'm not behind it," Frank declared.

"Pretty sure you're not allowed to have liquor in class," Claire told him. This was... really? She was doing this today?

"You'd think that, but I have a note from my Advanced Mixology (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CcH3OjwqMFwOD2VBJ2dUFMRa8IFawhr_PzEY8BsHUjQ/edit#gid=0) class saying that it's okay," Frank said, pulling it out of his inside jacket pocket.

It was a real class! And all he had to do to get the note was bribe HAL 9000 with a great martini! Or possibly just ask for it since HAL was a computer and Frank drank the drink. Probably the second thing, come to think of it.

Jasper didn't really think he could top Frank's explanation so he wasn't even going to try.

"Mine's a lot simpler than his," he said, nodding in Frank's direction. "A lot more boring too. Latex gloves to protect from dirt and blood, bandages and gauze to soak up and stop any blood loss, blanket to keep someone from going into shock or to keep warm if you're out in the cold, cold compresses for sprains, breaks, and ligament tears, scissors to cut bandages if you need them sized differently, tweezers for ticks and other nasty things, and thermometer to check for fever."

Boring. But, it worked.

"Effective," Claire said approvingly. "Good job."

"Sorry, my knowledge of human medicine isn't great," Tali started off ~~in the right place now whoops~~, "so I could be completely off base here."

She gestured to the items she'd laid out in front of her: bandages, tourniquets, and every kind of antiseptic and antibiotic she was able to locate from the available supplies.

"I know it isn't as critical for humans as it is for us, but being able to stop bleeding, keep wounds as localized as possible, and prevent infection are still pretty important things, right?"

Yeah, she was going to take some getting used to, but Claire wasn't showing how new talking to an alien was. "Exactly. You've got the basics here, and we'll learn a little more about that."

"Oh, good," Tali said cheerfully. "Humans are pretty new to us, so I'd like more to go on than secondhand speculation, you know?"

Ringo's little pile of supplies was, well, not so little, really. But she was excited to explain them.

"I thought that these little metal things," they were called finger splints, Ringo, "would be useful for someone who lands wrong and breaks or dislocates a finger. And a sling in case you do the same thing to your whole arm." She frowned slightly. "Most people don't break both arms at the same time, so I didn't think I'd need a second sling."

"And I also got these little scissor things that don't cut, but have little grippy ends?" Forceps. "In case someone takes a bad spill and ends up with gravel or broken glass or something stuck in them. And then the antiseptic spray and bandages for after you get all the bits out." It was less fun if you had to pick the bits out by hand, by the way.

"Those are good," Claire said. "A little specific, but that's all stuff you're going to be learning about and learning how to use here."

Yay! Ringo had done a pretty good job! She grinned. "Thanks." She frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose it wouldn't be that useful if you were running a fever or something, though, would it?"

"Not really," Claire acknowledged. "But that's why you're here, to learn what you'll need, right?"

Ringo nodded firmly. That totally made sense. She was even kind of looking forward to it.

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Health- Monday- 3rd period

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