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Conspiracy Theories - Period 2, Wednesday

So, it was raining maple syrup. That was a thing that was happening.

Awesome.

That would be why the teacher was looking a bit sticky and annoyed at the front of the class. You could actually tell he was annoyed because he wasn't wearing his armor for once. Because it was covered in maple syrup.

"Welcome to class." You brave souls who went out in this weather. "You can call me Washington, I'll apparently be your teacher for Conspiracy Theories."

Again. Awesome.

"If anyone has a theory about the weather, I'd love to hear it." He shook his head, making a face at being sticky as he moved. "Tell me your names and what you want to learn here while the rain hopefully dies down before it kills off the local plants and wildlife."

Wash was a giant buzzkillington about these things.

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And talk about the government being out to get you. It's fun!

"I'm Lottie Grote," Lottie said. She'd brought an umbrella, so other than her shoes, she was relatively syrup free. "And clearly the weather is a result of a Canadian plot to conquer the United States, usin their well known love of all things sugary." This was fun! "Or maybe a small child made an ill-considered wish on the paw of a beaver."

"I thought Canadians were know for their politeness." He was ignoring the beaver paw part for the sake of his sanity.

"Well sure," Lottie said. "That's why they're tryin to win the Americans over with syrup rain instead of using force."

"I think rain of maple syrup would ruin the ecosystem enough to be considered an act of war," Wash replied dryly.

"Politeness isn't the same as carefully thinkin things through," Lottie pointed out. "Perhaps it won't last long enough to do that much damage. Perhaps its GENETICALLY MODIFIED syrup that will make us all grow big and green!"

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Jasper had taken one step out of the yurt this morning before retreating and grabbing an umbrella. He was fortunately clean but his umbrella was never going to be the same.

"Jasper," he said once his turn came around. "I've got nothing specific in mind that I wanna learn. Figured anything would be interesting enough to hold my attention. Better than having to read Hemingway."

Wash... really could not fault that logic. "Fair enough. Just as long as you're not about to make a tin foil hat."

"Tin foil's not really in my budget." So no, he wouldn't be making any hats.

"Try to keep it that way. Even things out in class." Yes, he was eyeing Little as he said that.

"I'm Face," he said. "And I'm here because I'd like to solve the tragic murder of a former child star from my galaxy."

Face, no.

"Really?" Someone who was seriously interested in the subject? This might restore his faith in the education system.

Spoilers: it would not restore his faith in anything.

Face the not-so-murdered former child star nodded solemnly. "There's just too many questions about it."

No, no there weren't.

"Then you can present it to the class," Wash replied. "See if they can help you make headway on it."

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"I'm Anders," Anders said, resisting the urge to touch his maple-scented hair. "And I'm interested in everything about conspiracy theories, I suppose. I have a few of my own and I'd like to discuss some others."

The government actually wasout to get him,you see.

He should start a club! It would be paranoid and there would be snacks.

Wash glanced over at Face for a moment. "If you want to share, we can have some time in a future class for you to talk about it."

"Our church at home imprisons people with powers for life with no cause," Anders said -- which certainly would have earned a strong disagreement from Cassandra, were she there. "I'd love to talk about it."

"That does seem... wrong. Yes." And like a think the government or military would do if threatened.

Sadly.

"Where are you from exactly?"

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"I'm Johnny Storm," Johnny said. "And I'm mostly up for anything about monsters. There' a really good chance I'll fight whatever it is at some point, so it can't hurt to know something about them."

"You'll have to fight monsters?" Said the space marine.

"Usually they're giant monsters," Johnny said. "But a lot of the time they're not. I'm guessing we'll be focused on those instead of, like, big dragons or something."

"I'm Kathy Li," she said. "I'm actually more interested in the way people think about conspiracy theories than I am in the theories themselves."

Let's get meta up in here.

Hey, that was more like it!

"Always an interesting subject to look into. Understanding why people believe in outlandish things."

Like alien abduction and Bigfoot and basic human decency!

"I'm Blue Sargent and I'm interested in why people believe in psychic phenomena." Blue would be over here with Face in the 'stirring shit' corner.

In her defense, she hadn't signed up for this class. She was pretty sure one of her aunts was to thank for that.

Edited 2015-07-02 02:10 (UTC)

Rude, Blue!

"Psychic phenomenon." Feel the force of Washington's judgement. Which was rude for a guy teaching conspiracy theories.

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