fandomhigh | Political Campaigning (Thursday, March 2, 4th period)

Angel stood at the front of the classroom. He looked at everyone gathered very, very nervously. Rory and Logan especially.

"Um - so as announced today we have a guest speaker. Doug Sanders. He's here - " Angel shot Doug a glare " - to talk about fund-raising pyramids. And that's it. So, uh, pay close attention. And keep your pencils handy. Really, really handy. Doug?"

Doug bounded to the front of the room. "Hey everyone! First off I want you all to give yourselvs a big round of applause for coming in here today. Go on, clap. Don't be shy." Doug started clapping to lead them all off. Then, with an attitude that suggested he was barely aware of, let alone cared about, whether or not they did as he asked them, he kept on going.

"By showing up today you've said I have what it takes! I'm here to learn! I'm here to master my destiny as a cut-throat - "

Angel, sitting on the side, cleared his throat. Loudly.

" - member of the political system," Doug finished, smoothly. "And in order to do that I have to dig deep. I have to tune out those mental roadblocks and blast my way through those personal growth inhibitors. How many people here like blasting things? Show of hands, fun with blasting? Yeah. We love our video games, right? We love knowing that we're in charge. That with the right tools we can be the ones deciding who lives and who - "

Angel cleared his throat. Again.

" - gets to run this great country through the beauty of the democratic process," Doug said. "But in order to do that we have to rise to the top. We have to gather our resources and put together the time and money to get what we want. At least that's the usual way, right? Well no problem. Let's just give up our lives - "

Angel glared.

"Metaphorically!" Doug hastily added. He put on a smiling face again as he resumed addressing the group. "Let's give up all our energy and free time to the usual workaday world of drudgery and Yes-sir-boss-ism and creativity killers so that way we can get ahead! Sounds like fun, right? Yeah, doesn't sound like much fun to me either. Let me tell you, kids, nobody on their death bed said to themselves 'Gee, I wish I'd spent more time at the office.' That one's true. I know on my death bed I said to myself 'Ow, ow, those teeth are sharp!'"

Doug grinned, pausing for the laughter he clearly felt he was due. Then he launched back into his speech.

"Nobody wants to be a minion-me. We want mastery to be a master-me." Doug paused again so they could all admire his cleverness. He then stepped back towards the blackboard so he could pull a screen down. "And how do we do that? Simple. Utilizing my patented, as seen on TV, multi-level exponential flow cooperative."

The screen down, Doug flicked a switch to turn on a slide:

"Now I know what you're saying: Hey, Doug, speak English!" He laughed, waving down their concerns. "It's okay. Here's how it works. You have something you want to promote. Let's say a political candidate." Doug gave Angel a smug look. "Now what do you do when you have something you like? You tell your friends, right? You tell your families. How many of you have friends and family? Hands up. Uh-huh. And how many of you like cookies? Hands up for cookies. And chocolate? I bet you all love chocolate right? Let's give a big round of applause for chocolate."

As before, Doug led the clapping then moved on without caring if anyone joined him or not. "Now let's say you're eating the best chocolate cookie in the world. Wouldn't you tell someone about it? Wouldn't you call a friend, a family member - maybe even that special guy or girl that you're thinking of taking to the prom? Who here has a special guy or girl? Nahh, just kidding. I won't make you confess. I'm not that evil. But I can see the looks and blushes. Some of you - right? Right? Yeah, I can see.

"Okay, so you'd tell someone? Maybe two someones? Two people isn't that bad, right? I bet everyone in this room knows two people they'd share a cookie with, recommend a movie to, maybe even say 'You'll never guess the crazy guy we had to listen to in class today' am I right?

"Well that's all it is," Doug made a show of wiping his hands clean as though the work day was done. "You get two, then they get two, then they get two, and before you know it you've got an entire army of - "

Angel held up a pencil, pointedly. In all senses of the word.

" - registered voters who are happy to volunteer for your fund-raising efforts," Doug said. He gave another big smile. "Any questions?"

[ooc: ~~Wait for OCD threads!~~ OCD threads are up with people!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Reactions? To Doug? What could possibly be the odds?

Having no fourth period class and nothing better to do, Bel showed up for the presentation. He frowned, peering at Doug. And blinked. And blinked again. And looked at Angel, confused.

Callisto, having seated herself behind Belthazor ~~just in case~~ for no reason whatsoever, leaned forward. "Is it just me...?"

His eyes not leaving Doug, Bel leaned back and shook his head. "It's not just you."

Callisto face-palmed. "Parker's going to kill him."

Bel nodded. "What the hell is he thinking? This one's not my fault, I swear."

"My guess is he wasn't. And if I thought it was you'd already be dead," Callisto said in the same tone a person might use to talk about the weather. "If only for the sheer idiocy of this guy's speech."

"Hey, I'm not that easy to kill," Bel said. He may have been pouting. "Then again, this guy could bore me to death."

"Pen, behind the ear and into the brain, you'd never know what hit you," Callisto responded. "And I hear you there, I've met some droning windbags in my time, but this guy takes the cake."

"Ouch," Bel said. "And, um, is this guy talking about what I think he's talking about? Is Angel high?"

"If you think he's talking about what I think he's talking about, then yes," Callisto frowned. "If he is, it wasn't the blood, the stuff in my fridge is clean."

"Er, you want to try to do something about this before someone gets it in their head that he's evil again?" Bel asked.

"That sounds like a very good idea."

Re: During Doug's Speech

demonbelthazor - 2006-03-02 16:07 (UTC) - Expand

psycho-barbie.livejournal.com - 2006-03-02 22:28 (UTC) - Expand

Callisto watched Doug.

Callisto watched Angel.

Callisto frowned.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Blair took notes, and nodded along, taking notes. He didn't understand the deathbed joke, but everything else seemed like a sound idea.

After a second, Parker was bored, and amused that Angel booked this guy.

After the "who lives and who--" *Harrumph* bit, her eyes widened, then she turned to stare at Angel. And facepalmed.

Through the rest of the speech, she was turning her pencil over and over and over, shaking her head and biting her lips.

She looked way too cheerful as she stabbed the pencil into the desk.

Rory, bless her, simply did not have Parker's suspicious nature.

So she tossed a note over.

I don't get it?

Parker looked at her, disbelieving. Then she wrote in:

Pyramid scheme. Con-artist. Vampire?

And tossed it back.

SERIOUSLY??????

Rory might have underlined that a few times.

IS ANGEL OUT OF HIS MIND? HIDE ME.

Seriously. Parker shook her head as Doug made the dying-fangs joke, then wrote: Knowing Wings, he's just been so dense that he makes gold look buoyant. Feel free to hide under the desk. I've got a pencil. And Callisto has her burnination expression on.

Rory slid lower in her seat, and reached into her bag. She flashed her stake at Parker with a quick smile, and wrote back:

At least this guy hasn't tied me up and shoved me in a closet yet. Or stabbed anyone. Or anything. You know, look on the bright side, etc.

Exactly. Parker shot Angel a glare, then wrote down: You are safe. We are all safe. One vamp, room full of murderous people, it's all good. If you want to leave, do. I'm whapping Angel for the stupid as soon as it's over. And making sure he's killing this guy.

[ooc: and must go, back later!]

Nah, I want to talk to Angel too, Rory wrote, glaring over at the souled guy in question.

[*waves*[

Works. The more the thwapping, the more likelihood he'll learn. Like Sean. Baaaad vampire. No cookie!

Parker made a note to get photo of ROry scolding Angel for this bit of stupid for her photo album.

Anders totally skipped out on gym class for this, and by about ten minutes in he was feeling really annoyed. Hell, he could totally wipe the Pyramid court with this guy ~~except for that whole vampire strength and speed thing he doesn't know about~~. And none of this had a damn thing to do with Pyramid in the first place, except for that weird chart with the stick figures that was sort of shaped like a Pyramid court (if a Pyramid court had corners, which would be sacrilege).

Of course, it never had occurred to him that a Political Campaigning class would have much to do with Pyramid logically, anyway.