Political Campaigning (Thursday, March 2, 4th period)

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Angel stood at the front of the classroom. He looked at everyone gathered very, very nervously. Rory and Logan especially.

"Um - so as announced today we have a guest speaker. Doug Sanders. He's here - " Angel shot Doug a glare " - to talk about fund-raising pyramids. And that's it. So, uh, pay close attention. And keep your pencils handy. Really, really handy. Doug?"




Doug bounded to the front of the room. "Hey everyone! First off I want you all to give yourselvs a big round of applause for coming in here today. Go on, clap. Don't be shy." Doug started clapping to lead them all off. Then, with an attitude that suggested he was barely aware of, let alone cared about, whether or not they did as he asked them, he kept on going.

"By showing up today you've said I have what it takes! I'm here to learn! I'm here to master my destiny as a cut-throat - "

Angel, sitting on the side, cleared his throat. Loudly.

" - member of the political system," Doug finished, smoothly. "And in order to do that I have to dig deep. I have to tune out those mental roadblocks and blast my way through those personal growth inhibitors. How many people here like blasting things? Show of hands, fun with blasting? Yeah. We love our video games, right? We love knowing that we're in charge. That with the right tools we can be the ones deciding who lives and who - "

Angel cleared his throat. Again.

" - gets to run this great country through the beauty of the democratic process," Doug said. "But in order to do that we have to rise to the top. We have to gather our resources and put together the time and money to get what we want. At least that's the usual way, right? Well no problem. Let's just give up our lives - "

Angel glared.

"Metaphorically!" Doug hastily added. He put on a smiling face again as he resumed addressing the group. "Let's give up all our energy and free time to the usual workaday world of drudgery and Yes-sir-boss-ism and creativity killers so that way we can get ahead! Sounds like fun, right? Yeah, doesn't sound like much fun to me either. Let me tell you, kids, nobody on their death bed said to themselves 'Gee, I wish I'd spent more time at the office.' That one's true. I know on my death bed I said to myself 'Ow, ow, those teeth are sharp!'"

Doug grinned, pausing for the laughter he clearly felt he was due. Then he launched back into his speech.

"Nobody wants to be a minion-me. We want mastery to be a master-me." Doug paused again so they could all admire his cleverness. He then stepped back towards the blackboard so he could pull a screen down. "And how do we do that? Simple. Utilizing my patented, as seen on TV, multi-level exponential flow cooperative."

The screen down, Doug flicked a switch to turn on a slide:



"Now I know what you're saying: Hey, Doug, speak English!" He laughed, waving down their concerns. "It's okay. Here's how it works. You have something you want to promote. Let's say a political candidate." Doug gave Angel a smug look. "Now what do you do when you have something you like? You tell your friends, right? You tell your families. How many of you have friends and family? Hands up. Uh-huh. And how many of you like cookies? Hands up for cookies. And chocolate? I bet you all love chocolate right? Let's give a big round of applause for chocolate."

As before, Doug led the clapping then moved on without caring if anyone joined him or not. "Now let's say you're eating the best chocolate cookie in the world. Wouldn't you tell someone about it? Wouldn't you call a friend, a family member - maybe even that special guy or girl that you're thinking of taking to the prom? Who here has a special guy or girl? Nahh, just kidding. I won't make you confess. I'm not that evil. But I can see the looks and blushes. Some of you - right? Right? Yeah, I can see.

"Okay, so you'd tell someone? Maybe two someones? Two people isn't that bad, right? I bet everyone in this room knows two people they'd share a cookie with, recommend a movie to, maybe even say 'You'll never guess the crazy guy we had to listen to in class today' am I right?

"Well that's all it is," Doug made a show of wiping his hands clean as though the work day was done. "You get two, then they get two, then they get two, and before you know it you've got an entire army of - "

Angel held up a pencil, pointedly. In all senses of the word.

" - registered voters who are happy to volunteer for your fund-raising efforts," Doug said. He gave another big smile. "Any questions?"


[ooc: Wait for OCD threads! OCD threads are up with people!]

Comments

Sign-in

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

If you're a regular member of the class, please sign in so Angel doesn't have to send you to detention.

Feel free to use a pencil.

Feel free to keep it handy.

Re: Sign-in

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Callisto signed in.

And kept her pencil handy.

Re: Sign-in

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair signed in...and hoped that a pen was just as good.

Re: Sign-in

[fh_jackass]

Logan signed in. With a mechanical pencil.

Re: Sign-in

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker signed in. Glaring.

Re: Sign-in

[courier-gavin.livejournal.com]

Jake signed in, using one of the pencils Parker gave him for christmas.

Re: Sign-in

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

Rory signed in with a crayon, just to be contrary.

(But she had a stake in her bag. She's contrary, but not stupid.)

Re: Sign-in

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth signed in, looking at Angel curiously. She had a large cup of coffee. Glowing in the dark didn't exactly help her sleeping.

During Doug's Speech

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Reactions? To Doug? What could possibly be the odds?

Re: During Doug's Speech

[demonbelthazor]

Having no fourth period class and nothing better to do, Bel showed up for the presentation. He frowned, peering at Doug. And blinked. And blinked again. And looked at Angel, confused.

Re: During Doug's Speech

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Callisto, having seated herself behind Belthazor just in case for no reason whatsoever, leaned forward. "Is it just me...?"

Re: During Doug's Speech

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Callisto watched Doug.

Callisto watched Angel.

Callisto frowned.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Re: During Doug's Speech

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair took notes, and nodded along, taking notes. He didn't understand the deathbed joke, but everything else seemed like a sound idea.

Re: During Doug's Speech

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

After a second, Parker was bored, and amused that Angel booked this guy.

After the "who lives and who--" *Harrumph* bit, her eyes widened, then she turned to stare at Angel. And facepalmed.

Through the rest of the speech, she was turning her pencil over and over and over, shaking her head and biting her lips.

She looked way too cheerful as she stabbed the pencil into the desk.

Re: During Doug's Speech

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Anders totally skipped out on gym class for this, and by about ten minutes in he was feeling really annoyed. Hell, he could totally wipe the Pyramid court with this guy except for that whole vampire strength and speed thing he doesn't know about. And none of this had a damn thing to do with Pyramid in the first place, except for that weird chart with the stick figures that was sort of shaped like a Pyramid court (if a Pyramid court had corners, which would be sacrilege).

Of course, it never had occurred to him that a Political Campaigning class would have much to do with Pyramid logically, anyway.

After the Speech

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Questions? Comments? Help Doug help you to actualize your full potential.

Re: After the Speech

[lovechildblair.livejournal.com]

Blair bounced up and grinned. "Thanks for the speech, man. It was pretty cool. I was just wondering if you think this will work for protests or peace movements or if it would need to modified?"

Re: After the Speech

[notcalledlizzie.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth started to listen, a "WTF?" look on her face.

A couple of minutes in however, she gave up and instead directed most of her attention to packing lists for England.

After class

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

The odds of Angel both being in the classroom and headdesking a lot right now are very, very high.

Re: After class

[fh_jackass]

"Well," Logan said. "That was... he's a vampire, right?"

Re: After class

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"'Pyramid fundraising, Parker. He waived the *fee*, Parker. He wanted to do this for me, Parker.'"

Parker's shaking her head, and just watching Doug. "You are never allowed to surf the web without a pre-programmed Net Nanny again."

Re: After class

[auroryborealis.livejournal.com]

"Are you insane?" Rory asked, her voice squeaking a bit.

Re: After class

[psycho-barbie.livejournal.com]

Callisto crossed her arms and looked at Angel. "You do know you're an idiot, right?"

OOC

[notstakedyet.livejournal.com]

Lesse, don't think I've used this icon yet.

Re: OOC

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

*pats the pretty stupid stupid vampire*