fandomhigh | Sexual Safety [period 2, Friday]

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sex ed

Sexual Safety [period 2, Friday]

"Good morning!" Irene called, waving from her perch on top of the desk at the front of the room. She had on the desk a box that might look familiar to a couple people in the class. But, probably more distracting were the items on the table she'd set up at the front of the room -- a fishbowl of condoms, a colorful display of 28-day birth control pills, lubricants, spermicide, female condoms, and -- everyone's favorite -- dental dams. While other teachers had opted to take their students outdoors today, Irene unfortunately had props for today, and didn't want to risk them blowing away in the wind or being carried off by errant squirrels. Instead, she'd left the windows of her classroom open, at least, which might hopefully provide a distraction from all the...that. Sorry, kids.

"Welcome to Sexual Safety. For those of you I don't know, my name's Irene Adler -- Ms. Adler's fine if you'd like, and depending on the day I might answer to my given name, but none of that 'professor' business in here, all right?" She flashed them a smile, and plucked up the box. "Due to the sensitive nature of our discussions in here, I'm going to go ahead and apologize preemptively if I embarrass any of you. I'm not one for using euphemisms to tiptoe around sex politely, like we ought to be ashamed of it -- the point of this course is to teach you all how to be safe out there, and we can't do that unless we look at things frankly. So if you ever need to excuse yourself, anything like that, it's no problem, and no questions asked. But -- I know it can be difficult to have questions and not want to vocalize them in front of your peers, necessarily. That's what the box is for. Drop it in here anonymously, and I'll answer it the next class, the best I can."

She replaced the box on her desk, hopping off and wandering over to her table of goodies. "Now, as a necessity, I'm assuming you all know the basics of how sex works. If you don't know -- and I don't just mean heterosexual intercourse, here -- and you need clarification on anything, please do see me after class. I have plenty of resources to help you out there. But we're going to be approaching this class from a standpoint of already understanding how one might contract an STD -- sexually transmitted disease -- or possibly get pregnant."

She gestured to the table. "This is an assortment of the types of things you should be using if you're having sex or planning to. There's a little label next to each item to tell you what it is and what it does. Take a few minutes, explore, and then come back to your seats. It's still the first day, even if we're accelerating things. I'm not skipping the bloody introductions or they'll have my head, I think."

[links in the comments are NSFW, but in a Planned Parenthood/Wikipedia kind of way.]

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"And now that we've gotten up and moved around a bit -- introductions." Irene smiled, folding her hands over her lap. "Your name, your grade in the fall, and something you think is interesting about yourself. And if you have any questions about what you just perused, now's the time to ask them."

"Hey, I'm Cosima," Cosima said, with a tiny wave. She seemed pretty nonplussed by the subject matter. "I'm going to be a junior, and ...something interesting. Um, I have a tattoo of the golden spiral, see?"

She held up her arm to show it off.

"And I guess my big question is, does anybody ever use dental dams?"

"Your parents let you get a tattoo?" Kathy asked, leaning forward to check it out. The golden spiral was cool, okay? "Nice."

Cosima shifted in her seat to give Kathy a better view. "Yeah, they're pretty big on my body, my choice," she explained. "Plus, I think it helped I wanted something meaningful and not, like, the name of my favorite guy in One Direction."

"But how could you pass up having 'Zayne' written in big, sparkly bubble letters somewhere?" Kathy asked, giving Cosima a quick grin. "What made you decide to go with the golden spiral? I mean, besides how awesome it is."

"I liked the idea that it's everywhere and in everything," Cosima said. "It's in the stars, and in the cells of plants, and in every single molecule of our DNA. It's like ... math God."

"And," she added, with a teasing smile, "I'm more of a Harry girl anyhow."

"Oh, you're one of those wonderfully mathy-brained people, aren't you?" Irene asked lightly, tilting her head to admire the tattoo. "That's a lovely tattoo, Cosima."

"To answer your question...." She made a face. "As your sex ed teacher, and a person who's been in the sex industry in one form or another for over ten years -- Jesus, I feel old now -- I have to advise that people are a hell of a lot more diseased than we want to believe when the candles are lit and the wine's been poured. So unless you and your partner have recently been tested -- another romantic experience, yes, but one I urge you all to go through especially if you're monogamous and considering ditching condoms or the like -- dental dams aren't a bad idea, to prevent something like contracting HPV, which she might not even know she has."

"Now," Irene said, holding up one manicured finger, "that being said, there is nothing so mood-killing as pulling one of these out, and as far as your risks go, contracting something through cunnilingus -- which is what these are primarily for -- is pretty low. Use your discretion with new partners, and if things seem off, tell your ladyfriend to get a check-up before mixing your fluids. So I guess that's a very long way of saying -- dental dams are unattractive, I don't personally know many people who especially love using them, but in a class about having safe sex, I have to encourage you to use something. Does that help?"

Edited 2015-05-08 18:06 (UTC)

"That was a way more thorough answer than I expected," Cosima said seriously. "Thanks. And I'll be careful."

Edited 2015-05-08 20:34 (UTC)

"I figured if I didn't answer it thoroughly now, someone else would ask," Irene admitted, grinning. "Dental dams are the unromantic mystery of the safe oral-sex world. None of us like them, I have to pretend we all use them, et cetera."

"Jasper," he said when it was his turn to introduce himself. He'd recovered slightly from his surprise and sounded slightly engaged, at least. "Junior in the fall."

As for the interesting fact, Jasper knew he had oh so many but none were going to be shared in the middle of a class session.

"I puked on the White House lawn before." It was a lie but a good one, one that very few people would see through. Besides, didn't most kids puke in embarrassing places at one point or another?

"Were you there for a school trip or something?" Irene guessed, wincing. "I can't imagine your Secret Service was impressed by that."

"Family vacation," he said, shrugging. "Luckily, my parents got me away before anyone could really gawk and stare and point. Still, not my best afternoon."

"I'm Kathy Li, I'll be a senior in the fall, and I'm a gymnast," she said, because she hadn't mastered the art of the casual 'I'm a superhero' reveal the way that, say, Johnny had. "Or maybe I used to be one? I don't know if it still counts if I'm not competing anymore."

"I think that's one you should claim as long as you can do the poses and show off if people call you on it," Irene told her with a wink. "And as long as you feel like a gymnast, really."

"That, I can still do," Kathy said with a grin. "I've actually won bets that way."

It should be noted that Kathy had dressed with care today, going for a look that was casual but that she thought Ms. Adler would approve of anyway.

Oh, it was noted, but Irene felt that not commenting on Kathy's outfit was probably the very best admiration she could demonstrate. Good taste spoke so well for itself.

(She was super-proud of you, Kathy!)

"Keep winning them," Irene told her with a grin. "There's nothing so satisfying as getting money off someone who bet against you."

"Hanna Heller." She gave a little wave and a smile. "I will be a junior in the fall. Interesting about myself..." Hanna was stumped for a moment, partly because she had no particular wish to seem interesting, and partly because the things other people found interesting about her made her uncomfortable. "... I think I would like to be a courier, or someone who travels all over the world for a living, when I leave Fandom."

Irene smiled, gentling a little. "There's lots of jobs that'll let you travel. Is there anything that drew you to the idea of being a courier in particular?"

"I speak several languages--" She stopped herself from listing them all, and smiled back tentatively. "And I grew up in only one place, very isolated. I was able to travel for the first time last year. Morocco, and Spain. I loved it." She bit her lip and added, "Mostly I don't want to stay in the same place. As long as you're going somewhere, new things are happening." And you were safer, and less likely for the CIA to track you down again. "I met lovely people along the way."

She gave some of the props a curious look. "I have read about these, but never seen them. Do you have to use all of them together?" This was much more complicated than kissing.

Irene could relate, more than a little bit. "I used to travel quite a bit in my former profession," she replied, nodding. "Mostly around Europe, of course -- Spain's wonderful, and I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Courier's not a bad way to go, particularly if you've a gift with languages."

As for the more clinical question, though, Irene considered her props with a small grin, and lifted her brows at Hanna. "You absolutely do not need to use them all at once. I promise. That'd be...quite a set up. If you're planning on having sex with boys, at least, a condom'll probably suffice for the time being. That'll protect you from disease and pregnancy. The rest of these are more long-term anti-baby measures, more than anything."

"The music, the food... and we got to ride Vespas." So much fun. And easier than cars. "I want to see Hong Kong someday. And Rio."

She listened, serious expression on her face, and nodded. "It has not come up before. But I do not think I would make a good mother. At least, not yet. So the condom. And-- the rhythm method? I think?"

"The...rhythm method," Irene echoed, frowning a little. "Well, if you're looking for a backup birth control, I'd recommend the pill over the rhythm method. There's something like a seventy-five percent success rate there, because our bodies aren't perfect machines, as opposed to the pill's and condom's respective near-hundred percent effectivity."

She frowned thoughtfully. "I have some things you could read on it all, if you'd like to research more. And my door's always open." Poor thing seemed like she'd perhaps not had the most thorough education in this area.

Not even a little. The bare facts, but Erik had been planning on explaining it more when it was necessary, and then, well.

"Thank you, Ms. Adler. I think I might."

"Miller, Ada Miller. I'm, uh..." --and that was Ada, checking the card she kept in her pockets with information like that. "Junior, I guess. Something I think is interesting about me?" Ada scrunched up her nose for a moment. "Oh! Out of all the cousins, I'm the fastest at Ferris Wheel assembly."

"I'd say the fact that you've assembled a Ferris Wheel at all counts as interesting, luv," Irene told her, lifting her brows. "Do your parents own a carnival or something?"

"My mother? Oh no," Ada said with a wave of her hand. "Marti in charge would be a terrible idea." For more than one reason. "Uncle Chester runs the carnival, and my cousin, Duncan, is Head Scout but will probably take over eventually."

"I'm Gwen Stacy, I'm going to be a senior, and..." Hmm, something interesting. Something that didn't involve the word 'porn party.' "And this is the longest I've gone lately without getting kicked out of a school."

There you go, Gwen!

"I'm Johnny Storm, I'm gonna be a senior, and I'm a superhero," Johnny said.

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