The Art of BS, Thursday, March 19, 2015, 4th period

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"First of all, thanks to Kathy for taking over class last week while I was being very busy and important," Josh said. "In possibly related news, Representative Aaron Schock of the great state of Illinois, resigned from Congress on Tuesday. Now one of the great sources of BS of all time is a resignation press release, especially if criminal charges might be pending. Let's take a look at Schock's and try to break it down into real English, all right?"

Was Josh looking a little gleeful about this?

You bet your ass he was.

Comments

Read the press release

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

That vapid pile of nothing!

"And for those of you not keeping up on the news, the 'distractions' he's talking about arethe Ethics Committee probe into a gratis office renovation to make his look like the Downton Abbey set that was way over the gift limit for a Member, his use of private charter planes that he says are to get around his district, concert ticket purchases, trips overseas and other forms of travel. For the record, his district is Peoria, not, you know, Alaska. There are also allegations of him overcharging for reimbursement for gas and mileage during his campaign, which is just super tacky."

Re: Read the press release

[theheadkid.livejournal.com]

Travis read the press release twice and still couldn't really make sense of it.

"There's a lot of words here," he said to no one in particular.

Re: Read the press release

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"Pretty much means 'sorry I was a complete tool' without saying so," Josh said.

Re: Read the press release

[tigerundercover]

"Poor guy," Raven said, shaking her head. "It's just so hard when the world finds out you're an asshole."

Re: Read the press release

[professor-lyman.livejournal.com]

"I'm playing the world's tiniest violin for him right now," Josh said, nodding. "It's so terribly sad."

Re: Read the press release

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Joker -- who was wearing his leg braces, but didn't have his crutches today -- took one look at the press release and snorted. "The bastards are all the same, aren't they? He's a dick. Impeach 'im. No, wait, he quit? Throw him in jail."