fandomhigh | Self Defense, Thursday, Period One

This week around, the Danger Shop had been set up to resemble Fandom. Hey, the sim was in the system, might as well make as much use of it as possible, right?

Atton himself came stomping in more or less on time. "Okay," he yelled, "I had an entire conversation with my mirror this morning that was about as embarrassing as it was traumatizing, which means the island is being a--" ...string of mean Twi'lekki words, apparently, "--and I don't want to deal with it because all of my defense mechanisms are built on a network of carefully constructed lies."

Beat.

"Ugh."

He slapped a blaster onto a table of other blasters.

"So, instead of starting off with the fighting moves I had planned, today, we're shooting things. Silently. Grab one, grab a friend, work on your reflexes."

He pointed at Sparkle. "You, come see me after class, I have something for you. Don't ask questions. That's good advice for everyone here today, actually."

He smashed his fist down on a red button and not entirely realistic-looking monsters suddenly spawned all over town. There.

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Yeah, right, good luck with that Sparkle.

"Help me," Minako hissed, grabbing his elbow before he could get away. "I cannot pair up with any of the guys in this class because I am totally going to blurt out that they're hot and we should make-out and while you're hot you're my best friend so at least I don't have to worry about making a total idiot of myself."

"And it helps that we both know I'm more queer than a three-dollar bill and not really interested anyway?" Yes, Sparkle. That. "I was actually trying to sneak off before anybody could ask to be my partner, because being around people means I'll probably start blurting out things I'm not emotionally stable enough to share with other people, but if you promise not to ask too many questions it might not be so bad. I suck at fighting things, though. I mean I've used blasters and guns a few times but if we're looking at the odds, I'm gonna get tagged by those pixel things a lot before the period is through."

UGH.

"Is there such a thing as a three-dollar bill? If there's not, we should make one. We'll call it 'the Sparklenote' and it's good for a DDR session where the only talking we have to do is trash-talking," Minako promised. "--and if it helps, I'm going to get tagged, too. The only guns I've ever used are at the arcade."

"That helps a little bit," Sparkle decided, smirking faintly. "Maybe I'll get to look like I know what I'm doing with one of these things for a change. Atton showed me how to use them once, when it was raining sharks."

...

"This place is so messed up."

"Fucked up, Sparkle. You can swear in front of me, you know, I'm not five. And this place is fucked up," Minako stated cheerfully. "Can I pretend the monsters are the things making us tell the truth? It might improve my aim."

"I don't always fucking swear, you know," Sparkle snarked, shooting Minako a grin. "But yeah, the place is fucked up. And sure, we can pretend whatever makes you happy. Just so long as we don't have to act it out, because shit, we'd suck at that."

A lot.

"Dun dun dun dun! Dun dun dun!" Minako, singing the ~~Mission Impossible~~ Assignment Improbable theme probably wasn't part of the assignment, nor was skipping. "We should find the high ground, right? That's what they do in movies."

"If everyone did even half of the things people do the way they do it in movies, the whole human race would be extinct by now," Sparkle snorted. "But since I really have no idea what else to do, since I pretend to be way more competent about a lot of things than I really am, sure, let's go with that."

He was going to burn the island down.

"Um, isn't that, like, all teenagers? Or most of us, anyway. I can't talk, since I do the opposite and play dumber than I actually am." UGH. Minako groaned and hid her face in her hands. "Ignore me. Really."

"See, that's what you get for pairing off," Sparkle said, smirking. "I can't ignore you, because that's way too interesting. Even though I was already pretty sure you weren't that dumb."

This was going well.

"Anyway, sure, it's most teenagers, but for a lot of them it's just ego. Ego is way different from false bravado. So, why do you play stupid, anyway? Should I shut up?"

"I don't like academics, and if people realize that I'm not just a jock airhead, they're going to expect me to apply myself, and it's just not that important to me. I've got other priorities." It came out before Minako could stop it, and she made a face, deliberately biting down on the inside of her cheek. It hurt, but it made her stop talking for a few seconds so she could at least direct the flow of her words.

"And I would say you totally need to shut up but I want to poke at that false bravado thing even though I won't -- ARGH! You totally do not need to answer that."

"What? About the false bravado thing? It's nothing that isn't obvious anyway to people who pay attention long enough to know it's all just a diversion so people can't figure out how fucked up I really am."

And now it was Sparkle biting the inside of his cheek before he could go off on a rant about being a scared little boy or something.

"My wrist thing says that one of those monsters is around that corner, to the left. Should we go after it?"

"I just figure that your brand of fucked-up is yours, and if you ever actually want to talk about it, you will, but it's private unless you decide otherwise," Minako said with a shrug, heading off to the left. Shoot all the things, yeeeeeesssss. "Do I wish you would? Yeah, because I'm your friend, and I worry. But, as you've deduced, not a total airhead to push where I shouldn't be pushing."

"Which, FYI, even if I know how fucked-up you are, I'm not leaving you as an Evil Carnie or anything. I'd probably just hug-bomb you more."

Self Defense, Thursday, Period One

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