fandomhigh | Defying Expectations, Tuesday, Per 3

An email had gone out to the class the night before informing everyone to dress nicely and to wear something warm as they'd be meeting by the Causeway today.

"Depending on your destiny, odds are good that you're going to be personally responsible for the well-being of others. Some of those people will be easy for you to remember: the vocal, the well-off and powerful, those who serve directly beneath you that you see and interact with frequently. But those aren't the only people who depend on you and sometimes it's very easy for people to slip between the cracks, to go unnoticed and become forgettable. Those people are, of course, usually the ones who need your support and concern the most. It's a sad truth that the people who need help most are usually the ones in the least position to ask for or receive it."

She began passing out maps of Baltimore with several buildings marked off. "Today, however, we're going to be remembering those people and doing our best to assist them. Your next hour is going to be spent volunteering--though I'm sure you can feel free to stay a little longer if you don't have class immediately after this. As a reminder though, today isn't about you and and how good you feel about yourself afterwards. These people aren't learning experiences or character building exercises. You're there to see how you can help make their day better. It's a very different mindset to go in with, which you can feel free to think about for next week's class."

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Yeah, Karla was not surprised to see that Yeul needed a little bit of help for this one. Decisiveness was not one of her particular strengths, it seemed.

Not that Karla could really blame her, mind.

So as the class walked across the Causeway, Karla held back to fall into step with Yeul. "Need some help with the options?" she asked quietly.

Yeul had spent lifetimes upon lifetimes training the urge to help others and make decisions that would impact others out of her nature.

She was thoroughly unequiped to handle this decision and, more, she did not particularly want to handle it in any meaningfully way.

Just as it was not in her nature to make choices, it was also not in her nature to argue or complain, so when Karla fell into step beside her, Yeul went with her conversational opening.

"I suppose that I do," she said. "I would not know where to begin."

Which was true enough.

One day, Karla really should have Yeul and Uncle Saetan sit down and talk to one another. It would be an interesting experience for both of them.

"I guess the first question is whether you'd rather interact with people or not," Karla mused, thinking over the options she'd provided. "Do you like entertaining children? Or having conversations with strangers? Or would you prefer something with less interaction?"

Were those--those were more choices! Not answers!

Yeul contemplated these choices since she rather thought that Karla would not let her get away with a non-answer.

"I don't know," she said, after a few moments. Thinking about it had not really helped. "I supposed that I do not have much practice with children, however, and everyone begins as a stranger."

It was still pretty much a non-answer, admittedly, but she'd tried. A little.

"Let me rephrase," Karla said, not buying that non-answer. "I shouldn't ask which you'd prefer. Because today's not about you or what you'd like best."

Which, honestly, Karla thought might help Yeul decide.

"Where do you think you'll do more good? Do you think you'd be good at entertaining children? At talking to veterans?" She gave Yeul a gentle smile. "I know you try not to make waves or interfere, but this is only an hour of your time. Do you have an idea where you'd be most useful?"

"No," she said, rather helplessly. "If it is only for an hour of my time then, even more, I do not understand the exercise. Will it really help anyone?"

"In the long run? Not really," Karla admitted. "I could spin stories about how even the littlest bit can help. But, honestly, a single hour of your time or mine won't change much in the face of things. But it might help your fellow students. How many of them do you think have seen things like this in their lives? It might stay with them forever. And from there, more good might happen."

"But does it matter?" Yeuls asked slowly. "If they take it with them, what will change? Why should it?"

"I am a Queen," Karla reminded. "One of your fellow students will be as well. I know at least one other will become incredibly important in her world."

La la, not saying names, la la Mara Jade.

"If an hour like this stays with them, as it stayed with me, can you imagine the kind of good they'll be able to do in the future? These are often the overlooked and forgotten. They need to be remembered."

"I have seen and endured good and bad rulers," Yeul replied, glancing up at Karla. "What one generation fixes, another will ruin. It is never a steady progress. What good any one ruler can do in their lifetime can only really be judged after they are gone and their legacy endures."

"I'd rather be a good ruler and teach others to be good rulers as well," Karla said, "rather than simply give up because the next Queen to follow may undo all my good works."

Her hand slipped to her stomach where the possible next Queen of Glacia dozed beneath her heart.

"There's going to be someone who comes along and destroys what I've tried to build. But I'm going to push off that time for as long as possible, and I can best do that by teaching people to keep caring and keep building."

Yeul hesitated.

"It is not a bad thing, to be good," she says, not as an apology, so much as an elaboration. "Nor is it a bad thing to aim to keep the good going long enough. But I can only take the longest view of things. The short term is rarely in my consideration."

"But we've already agreed that, in the long or short run, this will accomplish very little. So you don't really have to give it much thought beyond spending an hour in a way that helps people in the most immediate way possible."

That was, she supposed, the truth. It still left her feeling rather unsettled.

"I don't know how to help people," she said, eventually.

"Then you'll probably be better off skipping either of the options that involves dealing with people directly," Karla said easily. "Does your hip make it hard to stand around and walk for an extended period of time?"

Karla was a Healer, of course she'd noticed. And she didn't think that Yeul would mind being questioned about it so directly. It was a fact of her life and if there was one thing Karla's picked up about the girl, it was that she tended to be very straightforward about those, whether it was her limp or her imminent death.

There was no point in dancing around a fact, that was all.

"Standing is fine," Yeul said, smiling. "And so long as I am not walking for most of a day without a break, walking is alright as well."

They did a lot of walking, on Gran Pulse.

"You can either choose to sort donated jackets for an hour, or help serve and wash up after breakfast. The sorting is probably the easiest option; you can probably sit and other than other volunteers, I doubt you'll be called upon to talk to anyone. Breakfast is more social, but has harder work. Which of those options sounds preferable?"

Karla had helped Yeul narrow it down to two, she wasn't going to just assign the girl a job. She didn't care if Yeul ended up flipping a coin to decide between one or the other, the important thing was that she'd be the one to decide, by whatever metric

That did not seem very important to Yeul, though she did not say so.

She thought about her options, and the way Karla had put them, and suspected that she would have to make her own decision, no matter how little she wanted to do so.

And how, if she refused to decide, that that would also be making a decision.

"I will sort coats," she said, finally. It seemed like the most harmless.

Defying Expectations, Tuesday, Per 3

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