fandomhigh | Sex, Dating and Self-Confidence [Tuesday, Period 2]

Today, Irene was perched on the edge of her desk as usual, the question box posed on her lap. "Good morning," she greeted everyone with a smile as they filed in. "I hope your weekends were as pleasant as they could be -- or, at least, if they weren't, that you have subsequently recovered. We have a few questions in the box this week, so let's get that started before we get moving onto today's topic."

She cleared her throat as she plucked the first question out of the box. "Can we get discounts at Dite's for being your students? The answer to that is no, unless you want to do something extra. If anyone wants to do some sort of extra project and be a teacher's pet, I'll give you a coupon for the store. Deal?"

She didn't really pause to see if that worked for everyone, because she didn't think it was a real question, anyway. But she'd honor it if someone took her up on it! "Onto the next: When and how is the proper time to reveal your feelings to someone you are dating without looking like a fucking idiot?"

Yes, the teacher just used the F word. And...yes, it might've been pretty obvious whose question that was on that basis alone.

The anonymous question box was so anonymous sometimes, you guys.

"There's no right answer to this one," Irene said, looking up from the paper and very carefully not letting her gaze rest anywhere in particular. "But I'd suggest trying to make sure it's a good time for the recipient to hear it, too, at the least. Maybe don't spring a confession on someone who's dealing with personal strife, as it might not get the reception you intended." And maybe don't make your heartfelt confession part of a phone passcode, because then you might get figured out and lose everything and have your heart broken on top of it all.

...hypothetically.

"Our third, final, and to my mind, most serious question," Irene said, plucking the last paper out of the box. "Just a reminder to the class that there's flirty, and there's sexually harass-y. Maybe take a second to think things like 'Am I going to freak someone out by saying this?' and if the answer's 'maybe' then keep your damn mouth shut." There was a bit more to it there than Irene had read, but she wasn't going to quite call anyone out by name, today. "I think this is important," she said, looking up. "And I apologize for not intervening when the incident in question happened, but let's all please remember that this is a safe space, and I want everyone to feel welcome and like they won't be harassed here, in spite of the subject matter. I'm treating you all like adults. Please don't make me regret that."

She thought (hoped) that was enough on the subject, and set the box back next to its home by the condoms. "Now. I want to congratulate you all on a very big achievement," she said, turning back with a bright smile. "We've made it to our last sex ed class! Starting after the break, we'll be looking more at the 'dating' portion of the syllabus, so. Everyone go ahead and give yourselves a round of applause for getting through what I'm sure is going to be the most difficult portion of this class."

She actually clapped, to encourage them to do the same.

"But!" You knew there was a but, right guys? "But today, we still have one more class to get through." She crossed her legs neatly, bracing for the inevitable tidal wave of embarrassment. "Masturbation, and the tools we use to offer ourselves comfort."

….yaaaaaaay!

"So," she said, passing out a handout just in case there was anyone here who didn't know what that term meant, "I'm here to clear some things up for you. We're not going to talk technique, or anything like that, but I want each and every one of you to know: it is perfectly natural to touch yourselves. There is nothing wrong with it. There's nothing evil about it, or sinful, or bad. It's a natural expression of our sexuality, as humans -- and in fact, it goes more primal than that. Most of the great apes masturbate, which you might observe if you ever go to a zoo and find a gorilla in an amorous mood. They're not shy about it."

There were also a number of Youtube videos featuring masturbating primates, but Irene wasn't quite that helpful. They could look that stuff up on their own time.

"Bottom line, ladies and gents and other -- don't feel ashamed of masturbating. Everyone does it. Even if someone says they don't, they're probably lying. And you won't go blind for it," she added, glancing at the more time-displaced members of her class, probably to their chagrin. "You'll just...sleep better that night, honestly."

"Like sex, masturbation is highly personal. Some of you will want to bring toys into the mix. Some of you will be happy with your hand. Some of you will want to rub against things that feel good. None of this is wrong." She paused, smiling, and added, "And some of you will be happy with your imaginations -- and some of you will want an external stimulation."

Awww, yeah, guys, we're talking about porn today.

Irene walked over to where she'd set up the television, probably inspiring either wild hopes or great trepidation, depending on the student. "So, today we're going to talk a little about pornography -- which, for those of you who don't know the term, means sex depicted for the enjoyment of a third party. Most of you are probably familiar with the idea of porn videos, but there's also literature, and -- well. There's a whole internet out there, kids. We're going to talk about the movies today."

She cued up the DVD player, and a sexy saxophone started up, along with a pretty rhythmic beat. A young lady was alone in her home, and answered the door to find a strapping young man holding a pizza box.

"I have a pizza here, with…." He paused, dramatically -- he was quite a good actor, this fellow -- "extra sausage?"

"That's for me," the girl on the screen simpered, "but I don't have any way to pay you!"

As the young man started to peel off his shirt and the music picked up more, Irene paused it. "We're not watching more," she said, which was probably either a huge relief, or else very disappointing. "A lot of time, in pornography, things are depicted incredibly unrealistically. You've seen the level of acting -- usually things start with some sort of wildly unrealistic premise -- a pizza delivery man who will take oral sex as compensation, for example. Or two young ladies who find that they don't know how to kiss quite as well as they'd like, so they practice and...well. One thing leads to another."

She gave the class a conspiratorial grin. "But the lack of realism in pornography doesn't start and end with the acting or the scenarios brought forth -- the sex itself shouldn't be trusted. We're not going to watch more of that in class, but in your free time, I'd encourage you to explore...but do it with a grain of salt. Gents, please -- I beg you, please -- do not take your cues from pornstars. There's usually a lack of female attention in these sorts of films, unless it's lesbian porn, and even then that's not realistic. Ladies? Please do not feel like you have to enjoy something that you saw in a porno, or that you're weird because you're not having theatrical orgasms like the young ladies of the industry. These are actors -- not very good ones when they're using their voices and not their bodies, but actors all the same."

Irene turned the television off, so no one would be too distracted, and turned to the class. "I'd like you to discuss, today -- what can we learn from pornography? Why is it so over-the-top and inaccurate? Would filming actual couples having actual, messy, fun sex be more effective? There's a market for that -- that's what the 'amateur' tab is, if you've poked around and don't know -- but it's certainly not the majority. Please, by all means, don't feel like you have to share your preferences, but I'd like to know what you think about why the porn industry is what it is, and what you think about the expectations it breeds in people."

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"What else would they be showing?" Eleanor asked. "You're upset that some people are screaming, which is how some women do orgasm, and implying that they ought to show 'real' orgasms instead. What is it that they should be showing, and how is screaming not indicative of a real type of orgasm?"

Edited 2014-10-01 02:23 (UTC)

"No," Kathy sighed. She was obviously failing to make her point and she was caught somewhere between being upset and and frustrated by it. "I'm not upset that some people are shown screaming, I'm upset that--from what I've learned about porn in general--that that's how all women are shown to orgasm. I'm upset that the man's orgasm is considered so important that it must be shown, whereas no one requires proof that the woman in the movie is actually enjoying herself."

Irritated, she ran her hand through her hair, trying to figure out how to articulate her point. "People can like getting facials. People can have screaming orgasms. I am not denying that either of these things exist. The problem comes in when that's all they show and that's what people come to expect as normal. If porn is how people are learning about sex, then they're getting a distorted view of what reality is like. And considering something like forty percent of women can't orgasm by vaginal intercourse alone, what they are seeing is a distortion. That is my problem. Does that make sense?"

Edited 2014-10-01 02:52 (UTC)

"You've never seen porn."

Kathy was not the only frustrated person here.

"No, but the amazing thing about the internet are there are whole sites that look at the statistics of porn!" Kathy shot back. "There's also a quarterly academic journal that examines pornography and UCLA has classes about porn. It's considered part of media and cultural studies, especially as it intersects with feminism. My lack of porn-watching is why I'm sticking to generalities about porn, which is exactly what I said to Eleanor a minute ago."

She rolled her eyes. "So unless you plan to set up some kind of movie viewing so that we can all watch it and study it together, you wanna maybe stop harping on that?"

Edited 2014-10-01 03:10 (UTC)

"I would cut my own arm off right here if it would get you shut up," Gwen shot back.

And this was how there was gonna be a porn common room. Suck on it, Kathy.

And she'd be there with bells on. Or at least a notebook, where she could take notes.

"Nobody's stopping you," Kathy snapped. "Feel free."

Edited 2014-10-01 03:21 (UTC)

"Sort of," Eleanor said, squinting her eyes. "But what sort of confirmation are you expecting, of a woman having an orgasm? I didn't think there was some sort of ... indicator, the way that there is with a man."

No vats of fluid, at least.

Edited 2014-10-01 03:33 (UTC)

Well, technically, there were porn movies that suggested otherwise. But that was a little beyond the realm of this discussion.

"It's less that I think women should have to show off their orgasms? And more that I don't think men's should be a major focal point. It's a one-sided spectacle, and the one-sideness bugs me."

Edited 2014-10-01 03:39 (UTC)

"So, I'd ask if the only pornography you've ever seen was mass-produced garbage from a terrible studio, but you've already answered that. And not to... oh, I don't know, completely negate your point, but there are entire videos out there that are, like, twenty minutes worth of just women orgasming. Like, real women, really cumming. I... think they're compiled from webcam footage, which now that I think about it is probably illegal, but they're amazing. And a lot of times they only show the woman from the neck up."

Edited 2014-10-01 04:15 (UTC)

"So, your point to me is that there are some videos, probably made illegally from webcam shots rather than a major porn studio or whatever, totally shows women orgasming, and that negates my entire point?"

Kathy wasn't sure she was buying his argument here.

Edited 2014-10-01 04:21 (UTC)

"I..." Joker sighed. "Okay, look -- will all of the vast number of reasons there are to be upset at pornography, this just seems like a really weird one to be obsessing over. I mean, you don't like cumshots? Don't watch those videos. Or don't read those fanfics." He gave her a shrug. "It's not going to be something you're going to have to deal with in person. Do you know why? Because when you get to that point, you're going to make sure the guy -- guy? I think you said there's a guy -- You're going to make sure he wraps that shit up. Right? Problem solved."

Kathy groaned, putting her head in her hands. "Okay, I'm gonna say this really slow. I'm. Not. Complaining. About. What. I. Don't. Like."

Maybe she should write it down on a piece of paper and just hold it in the air.

"This isn't about me or my preferences. My whole entire point is that the sex shown in porn is unrealistic and that people who learn about sex primarily THROUGH porn are going to end up thinking a lot of things are the norm that actually aren't. Like that all girls scream while coming and then like it in the face. Yes, this is true for some girls and huzzah for them. But that standard porn tropes give a distorted view of what sex is usually like for real people."

She was at a loss to make it any clearer than that.

"And there isn't a guy," she added in a mumble. "There's a crush on a guy, but that doesn't mean anything."

Edited 2014-10-01 17:47 (UTC)

"And my point is, there's a huge variety of porn out there, and 'standard porn tropes' only apply to a fraction of it. And I'm not sure how you do want people to learn about sex -- I mean, romance novels and fanfic are going to give you 'distorted views' that are just as unrealistic and unhealthy in whole different ways. And classes like this one are going to give you a healthier view, but it's still not realistic."

He frowned. "Look, I don't mean to be so... I don't know, whatever. I just can't help feeling like this whole argument is happening because you were reading 'Barry Plodder and the Wizard's Magic Staff Part 93' and lost the mood because of an explosion of jism."

Sex, Dating and Self-Confidence [Tuesday, Period 2]

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