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fandomhigh2014-09-02 03:53 am
glacial_queen) wrote in fandomhigh2014-09-02 03:53 am
Entry tags:
Defying Expectations, Tuesday, Per 3
"Morning," Karla said, giving her class a wan smile. It was hard to be convincing when you were on your third straight day of roiling nausea. Not throwing up, just sourceless, endless nausea. "Now that introductions are over, we can start digging into the meat of this class." Bad choice of words there, Karla.
"Destiny is an intimidating topic. Even if you're thrilled about whatever is waiting for you, it can be scary because you're talking about something that can set the tone for your whole life even if it doesn't take up your whole life. Not having a destiny can be just as scary; while you have more freedom to decide what you want, there's more uncertainty, too. Sometimes it's comforting to know what's waiting for you; even if you hate it, it gives you something to work against. Every week, we're going to spend the first part of class just talking about how you're feeling about things." She wrinkled her nose--that actually sounded way more touchy-feely than she'd intended. "I don't mean we're going to sit in a circle and hug our problems out, but sometimes it's just good to talk. Whether you're working towards your destiny, against it, or just figuring out what the Hell you want to do with yourself after high school, this is a chance for you to ask questions, get advice from myself and any other students, or just bitch that your parents are sending you college applications and you're only a sophomore."
Whatever worked for them. Karla wouldn't judge.
"Now trick to handling other people's expectations is to first start managing your own and, to do that, you're going to need to make a couple of decisions. Whether you're going to college, you're taking over the family business, or you're betrothed in order to bring peace to your native land, most of you have something waiting for you after you get home that wasn't necessarily your decision to make. The first step here is to decide whether this is something you're going to accept or something you're going to avoid. I know some of you have already made that decision, but now I'm going to ask you to think about why. Is it something you're looking forward to? Maybe you've heard tons of stories about how much fun college is from your older friends or you've fallen in love with your betrothed. Is it something you've ever really thought about? Maybe you think that 'everyone' goes to college these days or that inheriting your mother's company is a part of your personal identity--you wouldn't know who you'd be without it. If you don't want that destiny, why not? Are you afraid of something? Do you hate the institution your destiny is part of? Does it bother you not to be able to make your own choice? Any and all of these answers are valid, even if they're contradictory. People are complicated and so are their reactions to things. I resented the Hell out of having to be Queen so early, but even if I'd had the choice, I wouldn't have done it any other way. Being a Queen is too much who I am. Very few of us get to have easy answers for things."
"Once you're done questioning why you're on the path you're on, it's time to start talking about the how. And, for that, I have a worksheet for you." She gestured to Kaylin to start handing them outif she was there. "This worksheet looks dumb. And as you start to fill it out, you'll probably feel dumb. It's very, very basic, but sometimes that's what you have to get back to before you can move on to bigger and better things. The problem is that we take for granted so much of what we think, feel, and do without closely examining the reasons behind them, which makes it very hard to come up with ways to address them. Thus, this worksheet, which I'll admit I found useful even while I felt like an idiot filling it in. I nearly printed it out in Comic Sans just to really hammer that home, but I decided I liked you all too much. You're welcome."
Your teacher was a real giver here.
"What the worksheet asks you to do is break down what you're feeling and why into more manageable chunks. Anytime you're confronted with something huge and implacable, the easiest way to handle it is to break it down into smaller pieces until you're faced with something that you can do. Now, I'm not going to ask for these to be handed in. They're for your reference only, though you're free to share them with anyone you like. I'd like you to bring them to class each week because you might need to reference them, but they're not going to be collected and no one's going to judge you on the contents of yours. Please be as honest as possible on them because they're meant to be tools to help you work towards the future, but I can't make you do that, or take it seriously, so..." Karla shrugged. "We're looking at a typical 'You get out what you put in' scenario. Do with that as you will."
"Destiny is an intimidating topic. Even if you're thrilled about whatever is waiting for you, it can be scary because you're talking about something that can set the tone for your whole life even if it doesn't take up your whole life. Not having a destiny can be just as scary; while you have more freedom to decide what you want, there's more uncertainty, too. Sometimes it's comforting to know what's waiting for you; even if you hate it, it gives you something to work against. Every week, we're going to spend the first part of class just talking about how you're feeling about things." She wrinkled her nose--that actually sounded way more touchy-feely than she'd intended. "I don't mean we're going to sit in a circle and hug our problems out, but sometimes it's just good to talk. Whether you're working towards your destiny, against it, or just figuring out what the Hell you want to do with yourself after high school, this is a chance for you to ask questions, get advice from myself and any other students, or just bitch that your parents are sending you college applications and you're only a sophomore."
Whatever worked for them. Karla wouldn't judge.
"Now trick to handling other people's expectations is to first start managing your own and, to do that, you're going to need to make a couple of decisions. Whether you're going to college, you're taking over the family business, or you're betrothed in order to bring peace to your native land, most of you have something waiting for you after you get home that wasn't necessarily your decision to make. The first step here is to decide whether this is something you're going to accept or something you're going to avoid. I know some of you have already made that decision, but now I'm going to ask you to think about why. Is it something you're looking forward to? Maybe you've heard tons of stories about how much fun college is from your older friends or you've fallen in love with your betrothed. Is it something you've ever really thought about? Maybe you think that 'everyone' goes to college these days or that inheriting your mother's company is a part of your personal identity--you wouldn't know who you'd be without it. If you don't want that destiny, why not? Are you afraid of something? Do you hate the institution your destiny is part of? Does it bother you not to be able to make your own choice? Any and all of these answers are valid, even if they're contradictory. People are complicated and so are their reactions to things. I resented the Hell out of having to be Queen so early, but even if I'd had the choice, I wouldn't have done it any other way. Being a Queen is too much who I am. Very few of us get to have easy answers for things."
"Once you're done questioning why you're on the path you're on, it's time to start talking about the how. And, for that, I have a worksheet for you." She gestured to Kaylin to start handing them out
Your teacher was a real giver here.
"What the worksheet asks you to do is break down what you're feeling and why into more manageable chunks. Anytime you're confronted with something huge and implacable, the easiest way to handle it is to break it down into smaller pieces until you're faced with something that you can do. Now, I'm not going to ask for these to be handed in. They're for your reference only, though you're free to share them with anyone you like. I'd like you to bring them to class each week because you might need to reference them, but they're not going to be collected and no one's going to judge you on the contents of yours. Please be as honest as possible on them because they're meant to be tools to help you work towards the future, but I can't make you do that, or take it seriously, so..." Karla shrugged. "We're looking at a typical 'You get out what you put in' scenario. Do with that as you will."
Re: Example Worksheets
Choose one Do you intend to: Accept, Deny, Unsure, No destiny
Fill out as many of these as you like.
Concern -- Possible Solution:
1. My dad is going to kill me if I don't. -- Okay, dad probably WON'T kill me. He'll just be disappointed.
2. Dad will be disappointed. -- Apologize. Explain all the reasons I don't think I'm fit--make it about what's best for company, not about what I want. Move to a different world. Don't answer the phone for rest of my life.
3. Company won't have an heir -- Suggest dad starts grooming new replacement. Volunteer to help dad interview candidates. Have son and make HIM heir. Stay involved with company in other, smaller ways. Lure up and coming CEOs from other companies to dad's.
4. I'll be bad at it -- Start interning during summers. Follow dad around and pay attention to what he does. Talk to CFO, VPs, secretaries (NEVER UNDERESTIMATE SECRETARIES). Tell dad I'm not going to be ready for years & have him suggest ways to get me prepared. Spend time with different branches of company. Find out who I can trust NOW.
5. I'll hate it -- More interning probably. Find out for sure. Figure out what parts (if any) I'll hate vs what parts (if any) I like.
6. Dad might cut off my trust fund -- Learn how the fund is set up. Play the stock market. Get another job. Learn to economize. STOP BUYING $200 PAIRS OF JEANS AND ONLY WEARING THEM TWICE.
7. If I don't do this, what will I do? -- See rest of worksheet
If you have already refused your destiny or have no destiny that you can think of, think of what you might WANT to do instead and fill out this section.
Options (What might I want to do?):
-Consort
-Activist
-Live off my trust fund for years
Fill out as many of these as you like.
Concern -- Possible Solution:
Trust fund baby
See #6 above.
Activist
1. Not a huge fan of public-speaking -- Take classes on getting good at it? Learn tips to not freak out beforehand. Hire speechwriters.
2. Potential for violence -- Learn to fight. Figure out best ways to avoid violence. Rely on Healing factor(?)
3. Get stuck wearing blue spandex -- Maybe they'll keep the leather? Refuse a costume. Keep refusing.
Consort
1. Not Blood -- Nothing I can do about that. Learn to deal with the things they'll say. Learn to make subtle remarks in return (backhanded compliments)? Learn Protocol. Learn to fight and show dominance in other ways.
2. Different world -- Be better about keeping in touch with people I want to keep in touch with. Spend time in that world to adjust to customs. Bring a few keepsakes as touchstones. Open up Portalocity Frequent Portaler account.
Re: Example Worksheets
Choose one Do you intend to: No destiny
If you have already refused your destiny or have no destiny that you can think of, think of what you might WANT to do instead and fill out this section.
Options (What might I want to do?):
-Soldier
-First Circle
-Teacher
-Musician
Fill out as many of these as you like.
Concern -- Possible Solution:
Soldier
1. I'm tired of fighting -- DON'T.
etc.