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defying expectations

Defying Expectations, Tuesday Period 3

Karla had gotten to the island early today so she could hunt down the moose in the office and clear up a few things. Little things like: how had she become a teacher? Where was her class? When was her class? What was her class? Did the school normally just inform random people that they were teaching now?

She'd gotten a shrug to her first question, a copy of her class roster for her second, third, and fourth, and an eyeroll for her last. She hadn't even known moose could roll their eyes. But the roster had the really relevant information, like what the Hell her class was even supposed to be about, so overall the visit was a win. A few hours in the Perk had been enough to cobble together something to get her through her first class, which, if memory served, was all introductions anyway.

At least with the time difference between Kaeleer and Fandom, she'd have two more weeks to put together the rest of the class--and break the news to her Court that she was now teaching on the island.

Good times.

"Welcome to Defying Expectations: Staying Yourself in the Face of Destiny," she greeted the class when the bell rang. "Or, err," she checked the roster again. "Staying Yourself in Spite of Destiny. Whatever, close enough. We'll be calling it Defying Expectations for the rest of the semester anyway." She debated informing the class that she'd just found out she was teaching this semester on Saturday, but in the end decided not to undermine herself quite so immediately. "I'm Karla, Fandom alum, and this is actually a topic I struggled a great deal with when I was attending classes here. I'm a Queen, which means something a little different in my world than it likely does in most of yours, but the bottom line was that I knew that after I graduated, I was going to have to go home and rule my entire Territory." Which was an abbreviated version of things, skipping over pesky details like the murder of her parents and a civil war, but that wasn't really relevant to the topic at hand. "At a time when most kids were thinking about what college to apply to or what occupation they wanted to enter, I was trying to figure out how I was going to rule over an entire nation of people. It was intimidating as Hell, to say the least."

Still was, most days.

"One of things that always scared me the most was thinking about the ways I would have to change when I left Fandom. I would have to go from being 'Karla', the person I am, to 'the Queen', a person who was a mystery to me. I was afraid I'd lose myself, that everything that made me who I was would get subsumed by this faceless entity that existed only to rule and to govern." She shrugged. "Obviously, it didn't happen, but it was a very real fear of mine that manifested in nightmares and some really unhealthy behaviors. Now, I can't promise that at the end of this class, you'll walk out of here completely confident in whatever future you've got ahead of you--and, considering this place, could be anything from the next king or queen of a kingdom to the chosen one destined to save humanity. This is more about learning strategies that can help you find and keep your footing, as well as compromises you can make that won't leave you feeling out of touch with who you are."

With a smile she added, "But all of that starts next week. This week is the time-honored introductions week, which you will all be heartily sick of by Friday. So, name, class, and what you've got ahead of you after your graduation. Don't worry if it's not some huge and life-changing destiny. Expectations exist all around us, from society to parents to peer pressure and all that good stuff. If you want to, feel free to add if you're feeling unsettled by whatever comes next. Do your parents want you to be a lawyer, but your dream is to dance? Are you next in line for the throne but you're actually an anarchist? Share whatever comes to mind and whatever you feel comfortable with. Also, Kaylin? The great moose in the office has declared you to be my TA. So thank you for being voluntold."

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Kaylin was here, if still rather confused about the Great Moose thing.

Which was good, because Karla had been hoping to spend a few moments talking to her TA. She didn't know the girl at all, and there were a few things she ought to know.

"Hi there," she said, pulling a chair over to Kaylin's desk and straddling it backwards. She didn't seem a very regal kind of Queen, it was true. "I hope you don't mind being voluntold to be my assistant, but if you do, we can try to work something out with the office."

"I... no..." Kaylin said. "But I didn't even know there was a Great Moose. I'm sorry."

Kaylin had little experience with queens, but tended to treat all members of society pretty much the same. Which was why they didn't generally let her talk to important people.

"Um... I told Hannibal I would maybe think about talking to you anyway."

Hey, Karla didn't have to be a Queen here, so she was quite happy to do without bowing and scraping here. "There's a moose that works in the school office," she explained with a shrug. "Probably operates by the same wacky laws that say Fandom squirrels can read and write and drink rum."

She lowered her voice to add, "If we're both being honest, I didn't know I had a class to teach until this past weekend. So you're in good company."

Leaning back, she gave Kaylin a smile and asked, "Why did Hannibal suggest talking to me? Other than because of my obvious charm and delightful personality."

Kaylin looked surprised, then grinned. "That must have come as quite a surprise."

She hesitated and bit her lip. "I... it's not something I speak of or am supposed to speak of technically - though most of those I know back home know of it, even if we don't speak of it."

Was this convoluted enough?

"I can do... magical things. Terrible and horrible things. Which I don't do. But I can also heal. Things I shouldn't be able to, they tell me. But no one understands anything about it, not even me, really. It's just something I do, so Hannibal said..." she shrugged.

Karla was quiet as Kaylin stumbled through her explanation, then nodded. "Hannibal knows that I am a witch," she said crisply. "One of the reasons being a Queen is different in my world than yours is because it has nothing to do with my parentage, but my abilities. I was born with the ability to Heal the land, so I am of the Queen caste. I was also born with the ability to Heal the body and the mind, so I belong to two other castes as well. Plus I have the general abilities of Craft inherent to all of my people."

Trying not to wince, Karla used the merest hint of her power to call in a tiny floating witchlight and send it dancing around her fingers.

"My Craft likely doesn't work the way your power does," she warned. "But I'll be happy to work with you and see if we can figure out how your power works and what you can do with it. Now who is this 'they' you speak of?"

"A Queen. Is that like an Emperor?" Kaylin asked. "Because he's the one who rules in Elantra. But I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with healing anything. He and his advisors, they think I'm dangerous because of the things I can do and because I can't always control it. That's why I wear this."

She pulled up her left sleeve a little to show a golden bracer studded with jewels. "I take it off when I do healing or when I need to be able to do stuff. I'm not supposed to, but mostly as long as I don't do anything bad, everyone pretends I didn't take it off. I couldn't help with the bad births or heal the children otherwise. The Hawklord understands. I think he's the only reason they didn't kill me when I first got to Elantra and they realized..."

"If you think maybe you can help," she said carefully. "I could try to listen and see what happens."

"They realized what?" Karla asked gently. "To be able to best help you, Kaylin, I need to know everything you can do and what is against you back home."

She offered her TA a soft smile. "I promise, there is nothing you can do that will horrify or frighten me." Not that she expected Kaylin to just take her at her word. "If you'd prefer, for everything you tell me that you worry I might judge you for, I'll tell you about something I've seen or done in return, so you know that I'm not just talking out of my ass when I say you don't frighten me."

"That I'm too dangerous to be allowed to live," she said very very quietly. "Because no one understands the magic I can do or how I'm able to do it or where the power comes from. And the last time I got very angry I flayed two men alive. I don't know how, I just... I wanted them dead for what they had done and it just happened and I couldn't stop it and I didn't really want to and no one could stop me."

"Learning to control your power is important, because you don't ever want to lose control of it," Karla said firmly. "Because then it does things you don't want it to, like that. And other times, you may want to draw on it to do that exact thing. I have pulled out people's hearts with my Craft. Deliberately and with forethought. I also know how to debone a chicken with my Craft--and if you can debone a chicken, you can debone a person. I've studied how it can be done, so that if I need to, I can do it."

So, yeah. Still no horror or judgment here.

Kaylin's eyes were wide, not with horror, but with surprise and maybe a little hope. "I don't ever want to do anything like that again. Not unless there is no other choice. I... I just want to be able to do my healing."

"That's the trick to Healing," Karla said. "We are also the best at hurting, because we know exactly how the body is put together and how to make it function. Any idiot can hammer at something until it falls apart, but only a craftsman knows how to annihilate it completely from within. Learning to Heal means you'll learn to destroy, too. The only things that separate the two are intent and control. I can teach you the latter, but the former is up to you."

"I want to learn," Kaylin said - and Karla didn't understand what an unusual statement that was from her. "I want to learn so I can better heal and not hurt people."

"Well, then, I guess I'd better get an office set up so you can come visit me during office hours," Karla said with a smiling. "Starting next week, then? As a warning though, I'll be a much stricter taskmistress there than I will here. Power is like an unruly child, it needs a firm hand and a lot of understanding to make it behave. Which means that's what you'll be getting from me, at least until you develop your own."

Kaylin nodded, then bit her lip, hesitating before she finally decided to come out with it. "I... I'm sometimes not such a great student. And I'm not always the most, well... tactful person around. Marcus says instructors see me coming and despair."

It was only fair to be upfront, right?

"But I'll try. To be good and to learn. And not to be too late."

Karla got a good chuckle out of that. "One day, maybe you'll meet my Steward. He used to be my primary tutor as a child and eventually learned to shield his shins and anywhere I could reach to bite."

She'd been a special child.

"And don't worry about hurting my feelings. If I want you to be all fine manners and ass-kissing, I'll come in here in full Queen regalia. Until then, blunt is fine, so long as you're honest."

Her eyes widened. "I don't bite or kick. I just... don't always see how something will help me in being a Hawk, so... And I'm always late."

Which Karla might not have noticed given that it was only the first class and Kaylin had been nervous which made her mostly just about on time today.

"How do you feel about swearing? Not at you, of course, but just about things?"

Some things needed to be sworn at - just cried out for it. And Kaylin did enjoy using and learning new swears.

Edited 2014-09-03 02:04 (UTC)

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Defying Expectations, Tuesday Period 3

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