Seven Habits of Why Are You People Here Anyway, Friday

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

Today the class met in an actual classroom, with stations set up. It was almost like they had real teachers! Almost.

(Or it was like Cheryl hadn't felt like being outside with a bunch of kids, again. Either way.)

"I can't believe you guys keep showing up," she commented as the students filed in. "Don't you kids have anything better to do? Like, seriously, when I was in high school, I did everything I could to avoid going to class. I almost got expelled for truancy a couple times!"

Okay, Cheryl, not everyone is a railroad heiress who can just donate a new wing to her fancy Manhattan private school to get out of trouble. And also some people care about grades, or something.

“It’s summer,” Pam whined, in case the students were not aware of that crucial fact. “Isn’t it illegal to have class in the summer, anyway? We shouldn’t have to be here. You guys should just cut next week, I’m serious. Just don’t even show up.”

Pam, not everyone was a freeloader who could sponge off the aforementioned railroad heiress. Just saying.

"So, whatever, you guys are a bunch of nerds and none of you are ever going to get laid while still in high school, is what we're saying," Cheryl told them, shaking her head. "I mean, just go ahead and accept that. But that's not what we're working on today. Today, we're working on Habit Number Three, which is 'Put first things first.' Well, that's stupid."

Cheryl looked over at Pam, wrinkling her nose. "That's some 'oh, it's always in the last place you look!'-type bullshit, isn't it? Of course first things go first. That's what makes them first, duh."

“If it wasn’t in the last place you looked, you would’ve quit looking by then,” Pam said. “This book is so stupid. First they said, hey, start at the end, now it’s start at the beginning. Don’t forget to start in the middle, too! Fuck up the timeline like you’re in a Quentin Tarantino movie, and make sure your time machine lets you do everything at once!”

Pam waved towards the stations. “So we’re gonna make you alphabetize some shit we found around the house. So help me, if any of you steal any of my pot, I’m gonna go apeshit on you.”

Pam, maybe it’d be a good idea not to bring illegal drugs in to class in the first place?

Cheryl raised an eyebrow. "If any of you fuck with my Clozaril, I really will go apeshit."

Because, you know, antipsychotics.

Have fun, kids!

(... Text in the comments is totally gonna be NSFW. Consider yourself warned.)

Comments

Station #3: Cheryl's Medicine Cabinet

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

If you're looking for things to alphabetize, why not start with words that most people can't pronounce? All of Cheryl's vials were dumped into a large plastic bag, and that bag has been upended on this table.

It really doesn't help that someone appears to have scribbled all over the labels on some of these, or that some of the labels have been partially torn off, either.

At least this stash isn't traumatizing the same way? Anyway, have fun with the following:

Compazine
Clozaril
Zyprexa
Seroquel
Methylenedioxypyrovalerone
Zenzedi
Drospirenone estradiol
Dihydromorphine
Apricoxib
Stiripentol
Clonazepam
Brivaracetam
Triazolam
Emoxypine
Dimethyltryptamine
Methaqualone
Fluorenol
Lamotrigine

And of course, feel free to mod your own selections. Who knows what Cheryl has in there. She certainly doesn't.

Re: Station #3: Cheryl's Medicine Cabinet

[notaweenie.livejournal.com]

No. This station wasn't traumatizing a tall but it did explain a lot about Cheryl.

And why she did macrame instead of knitting

However Barry did swiftly add an additive similar to what he did for Pam's stash.

Again... not anything harmful. Nope. Not at all.

Re: Station #3: Cheryl's Medicine Cabinet

[spin_kick_snap]

"...I'm not a pharmacist, but aren't some of these, like, really heavy duty drugs?" Kathy asked anyone nearby. "Like, the kind that shouldn't be mixed with anything? Including each other?"

Re: Station #3: Cheryl's Medicine Cabinet

[holyshitsnacks.livejournal.com]

"I think maybe some of Cheryl's doctors don't really talk to each other," Pam said helpfully. "And she pays some others not to ask too many questions. And some of these she orders off the internet. I think."

Re: Station #3: Cheryl's Medicine Cabinet

[fly-so-serious.livejournal.com]

Joker held out his hand, which lit up all glowy while his omnitool worked. Yay, something he wanted it to do that it would actually do! He scanned the names off the bottles, and pulled up some basic information about each of the drugs.

... Oh. Hm. Should he feel bad about mocking Cheryl, now? He wasn't honestly sure. But he kinda did.