fandomhigh | Everything's A Weapon, Wednesday, Period One

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Everything's A Weapon, Wednesday, Period One

Notices had been sent out to all the students, informing them to dress for a day at the beach. In the Danger Shop. Anyway, students were met with a typical beach scene when they got to class, complete with burgers and hot dogs on a grill, and a cooler full of sodas and snacks beside it. Several large beach umbrellas offered shade to brightly colored towels leading off to the left, where a beach volleyball net was set up. There were even a few kayaks pulled up out of the water in case anyone wanted to go for a quick ride. There were also several baskets of flip-flops and suntan lotions, just in case anyone was worried about getting burned. In the Danger Shop. Even if that totally wasn't a thing.

“Yo, rookies,” Reno, who was clad in a pair of black swim trunks with happy yellow chocobos all over them, announced with a grin, “you guys have been livin' off in Fort Creepy across the water for the past weeks, so I figured maybe you'd like a break from all that. Beach party day today, yo. I know, I know, how are you ever gonna cope? I say deal, kids. Deal.”

Such a difficult request.

“The food's all real, even if the waves and sun ain't. Get yourselves comfortable and settle in. We got all class here, after all.”

Right. Because this couldn't possibly be a setup.

[Open!]

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"Sounds good," Kathy said with a nod. She grabbed a bottle of diet coke, loosened the cap, and then popped a Mentos into her mouth, holding it between her teeth.

It was hard to run on sand--harder still when she remembered that she wasn't supposed to use her powers, so she wasn't going to break any world records as she dashed for the sahagin closest to them. Stopping right in front of it, she dodged under the harpoon to grab a handful of sand and throw it into the creature's eyes. A second later, she'd knocked the cap off the soda and was spitting the Mentos into the bottle of Diet Coke (thank you, Youtube!).

Aim for the eyes, aww yeah.

Okay, that was pretty impressive. Four launched himself off of the distracted turtle-guy's shell (shell?! his brain repeated) and plunged the hot poker into the thing's neck, then yanked it back out as it plunged to the ground.

Gross, but effective.

"Next?"

Kathy unsuccessfully fought down a grin. She probably shouldn't be enjoying this as much as she was, but there was something exhilarating about taking creeps down.

...Which explained her nighttime hobby so well.

Flashing him a V-sign, Kathy dashed back to the grill. She dumped one of the baskets of flipflops out, then filled it with Diet Cokes. Time to go mobile. A sand pail made an excellent holder for hot coals and she shoved the burger flipper into the waistband of her shorts.

Once she finished blinding them, she could provide air support by launching coals off the turner. Kind of like jai alai!

"Ready?" she called to Four. "Pick one! Target rich environment, no?"

Four flashed one of his rare grins at her. "It is. So much better than the toy store. I call--that guy."

He pointed at the nearest turtle thing to the right.

"I dunno," Kathy laughed as she sped by. "I figured out how to make a flame-thrower there!"

Look, she was REALLY PROUD of that flame-thrower. She was gonna brag about it a little bit.

Sand. Diet Coke explosion. And then Kathy realized she had a bucket of coals. Rather than flinging them, one-by-one, at the critter, she just upended it over the stupid thing's head.

It went shrieking back into the water. "Sorry!" Kathy called back to Four, looking a little embarrassed. "Uhh, the one to your left, maybe?"

Kill-stealing is bad form, Kathy!

"How'd you manage that?" Four asked, picking up the dropped spear from their first kill and skewering a guy through the eye from behind without turning to see where it was.

Sometimes he liked to show off a little.

...Sometimes Four was a little distracting.

At the last minute, Kathy managed to duck and avoid the harpoon aimed for her head. She hit the ground and rolled, then jumped up and whacked it in the throat with the edge of the barbecue flipper.

Again, she wasn't the strongest person in the class, but no one wanted to take a sharp bit of metal to the throat. The sahagin went down with a gurgle, injured but not out. Using it as a springboard, Kathy backflipped away, coming up in a defensive crouch.

...It was possible that wasn't completely necessary, but, look. Four had taken one out without even looking.

"There are these toys called water yo-yos that aren't actually filled with water," she called back. "They're filled with this really flammable hydrocarbon stuff that's gotten them banned in, like, five states. Fill up a Super-Soaker with that stuff, attach a teddy bear to a baseball bat to make a torch, then light it using the heat from an E-Z Bake Oven. Then just make sure the torch is between you and the target and presto!"

"Nice!" Four said, smiling again as he threw his now-cooling barbecue tine into another victim's neck. "I didn't have toys growing up, so I went the 'it's heavy and metal, let me bash you with it' route."

"Maybe it's time you got a present," Kathy said, eyes alighting on the bottle of lighter fluid that was sitting nonchalantly next to the grill. "How do you feel about fire?"

"My faction's element is flame," Four said. "Love fire."

"Then gimme five?" Kathy asked before bounding away to go back to the grill.

Honestly, the Sahagin should stop focusing on them and start focusing on that. Their jobs would be so much easier then!

Remembering an awesome youtube video she'd seen, Kathy wanted to make a thermal bacon lance, but she'd need a few minutes to figure out how to simulate an oxygen tube. Until then, she was grabbing all the bottles of tanning oil she could find in the stash Reno had provided and dousing a few paper towels with lighter fluid.

Another live coal in a pair of tongs and she was back, beaming, at Four's side. "Molotov cocktail delivery!"

"Excellent," Four said. "I've got great aim."

"Good, because I'm pretty sure Reno will fail us if we light another student on fire," Kathy said with a laugh. "And now you can't say no one never gave you anything fun."

Another V-sign and she was off. "Lemme see if I can figure out a thermal lance, okay?"

"What do you need?" Four asked, tossing the Molotov cocktail straight into a turtle's shell with a little too much delight on his face.

"An oxygen hose," Kathy explained, dodging away from another Sahagin attack. She lashed out with the tongs, careful not to dislodge the coal. It was needed so Four could continue to light his cocktails. "Something to provide oxygen and pressure needed to make the stupid thing work. Otherwise, one of us will just be blowing through a small hole in the bottom of a soda bottle and hoping for the best."

"Haven't seen anything like hoses," Four said, reaching out to light another explosive and tossing it into the melee of turtle things that frankly should know better than to get near this part of the beach by now. "How much of a fuse does it need so we don't blow our faces off?"

You would think, right? They pretty much had this section of beach on lock-down!

"Not a fuse so much? Okay, what we really need is an oxygen pump to blow pure oxygen through the lance. Then you could hold the lance itself because it's inflammable and still be able to cut metal. Without the oxygen pump, you don't have the same amount of heat and power..."

On the other hand, it would still burn.

"Can you hold the tongs?" she asked. "I've got an idea, but I don't want to leave you without a way to light your Molotovs!" before bouncing off again.

"Thanks!" he called after her, waving the coal and lighting his dwindling supply of pyrotechnics.

Eh, if he ran out, he'd start wielding the coal. You really didn't want to mess with Four when he was in the zone.

Ha! That wasn't going to happen on Kathy's watch.

Before she settled in to make her next improvised weapon, Kathy ran back to offer him a bottle of aerosolized bug spray. "Here!" she said, tossing it at his feet. "Just in case you run out of cocktails. It'll get you a flame with decent distance."

Figuring that would hold him over for a time, she ran over to the kayaks and snagged two paddles. Back to the grill (she was keeping this forever and always, amen), where she liberally poured lighter fluid all over the paddles themselves, though careful not to let any run onto the shafts. The paddles went into the grill, the liquid caught flame, and suddenly Kathy was holding two long, heavy, flaming woods weapons.

They probably wouldn't stay on fire for very long, but while they burned they were intimidating as heck.

"Miss me?" she asked, when she returned to Four and held out a Blazing Paddle of Doom (tm).

Was this flirting? Four had no idea.

He smiled. "Terribly. Nice paddle."

Kathy was trying for banter. Did that count as flirting? Why wasn't that a class?

"Thought you'd appreciate it," she said, handing it over. "Not a thermal torch, but we all have to make sacrifices."

Four laughed. "We're going up against turtle-men. They don't deserve the good stuff."

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Everything's A Weapon, Wednesday, Period One

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