fandomhigh | Practical Philosophy, Monday

"I've been given to understand that some of you had your emotions manipulated by the island last week," Ender said. He was sitting cross-legged on the grass of the dorm lawn, as per usual, a glass of water in his hand. "So I propose we talk about that on a primary note this week. Did you experience that? Did you know anyone who experienced it? Did it teach you anything about yourself, or was it a pain in the ass? There are a range of issues coming into play when these things occur - questions of consent as well as what this did to you. I'm opening the floor today to any and all of them."

He sat back.

"Otherwise, it's Memorial Day today," he said. "I've personally served in my home's armed forces. It was an unusual program, but not all of us came back alive. Many of us didn't come home whole. I've heard and seen of many brave people who died, serving humanity to their utmost best. They deserve some thought today. I don't care if you want to do it in discussion in this class or later, but please keep it in mind."

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Emotions, memorials, both.

"It was definitely a pain in the butt," Kira said. "It wasn't like I experienced emotions I've never felt before, but it was such a roller coaster and I couldn't figure out how to make it stop until it stopped itself."

"When did you figure out that's what was going on?" Ender asked.

"I wasn't personally affected," Joker ventured, "but other people were. It got... awkward."

He needed to talk to Eleanor, still, and find out if she was all right. He didn't want to say any more than that until he had.

"I can imagine," Ender said, not without sympathy. "How did you decide to react when you figured out something was going on?"

"The best that I could, under the circumstances," Joker answered. "I... tried to prevent the other person from doing anything they'd regret later."

Ender gave a little nod. "Did you succeed?"

Joker shrugged. "I... think so? We'll see."

"I humiliated myself," Eleanor said. "I've yet to see if there's permanent damage to any of my relationships as a result."

"I'm sorry," Ender said quietly. "On the island's behalf, if nothing else."

"It's all right," Eleanor said. "It wasn't ... traumatic, just embarrassing. I'm being a touch melodramatic, I know. I just hate being out of control of myself."

She darted a glance at Joker, too hurried to actually meet his eyes. "As for interpersonal relationships, I ... doubt there will be worse than awkwardness."

She hoped, anyway.

And then, because she was curious: "Were you affected, by the crystals?"

"Any time the island takes consent from us is a time worth some apologies," Ender said lightly. "But no, I wasn't affected by the crystals, thankfully. I'm not sure anyone would've enjoyed the end result."

Angry days, especially, would have been a problem.

"I hated not being in control of myself," Celia admitted quietly. "Some nice things came of it, I suppose, but -- I'm very glad to be back to being...me. And sometimes I'm moody, but at least they're my own moods."

"Do you feel there's a big difference?" Ender asked. "Between your hormones affecting you and this crystal? Both provide an involuntary rush."

Practical Philosophy, Monday

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