fandomhigh | Advanced Film Criticism, Monday, Period 1

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Advanced Film Criticism, Monday, Period 1

"Welcome to the best workshop you're going to have this summer," James said from his spot in the front of the Danger Shop. The thing looked like a movie theater, as you might expect. One of those fancy theaters with the reclining leather seats and 1.5 times too many cup holders. "We're gonna watch bad movies and you're gonna enjoy them because we can easily go from good-bad movies to bad-bad movies. Popcorn and drinks are free, but they're also not real, so there's no point trying to eat it. It won't fill you up."

"You," James said, pointing at someone randomly, "say your name really fast and what your favorite Nicolas Cage movie is. If you don't have one, run one lap around the room, then sit down. That'll teach you."

"For the record, I'm Professor Sanders, my favorite Cage movie is ~~meta for~~ Con Air, and *PEW* I just ran a lap anyway. Now hurry up so I can forget who you are and we can watch Con Air."

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Who are you and what's your favorite Nicolas Cage movie? And if you don't know Cage, run a damn lap!

"I'm Chuck Hansen," Chuck said. He was already up and running because a damn lap was worth a damned lot more than a bloody Nicolas Cage movie.

"You'll learn to love him!" James said. "Good hustle!"

"Flick. I like Face/On," he said because it was the sole Nicolas Cage movie he'd seen. So yay, no lap for him.

"One of the few movies where someone crazies just as well as Cage," James said approvingly. "Good choice."

"Raven Darkholme," Raven said. "And I actually also really like Con Air."

Raven didn't know what Con Air was. She didn't know who Nicolas Cage was. She just really didn't want to run a lap.

"Kiss up," James said. "I'm not complaining. I appreciate people who agree with me to make things go easier. If I had a gold star, you'd get one."

"I will definitely keep that in mind," Raven said. "Thanks."

"Isabelle Lightwood. Also, Con Air."

Totally copying Raven and not even sorry about it. She could've easily run a lap - yes, even those heels – but she didn't feel like it.

"You and whatsherface are my favorites so far, fyi," James said. "Just keep agreeing with whatever I say to keep things simple and things will go just fine."

"I'm Isaac Lahey," he said. "And my favorite Nicholas Cage movie is The Rock. But that's not my favorite Sean Connery movie."

"Solid choice, even if it's not crazy Cage. But now I have to ask what your favorite Connery is," James said.

"Jeff Moreau. AKA Joker. And I'm just gonna say Con Air 'cause I don't know who Nick Cage actually... Wait a minute. He's the guy from the sucky old ~~meta for~~ Ghost Rider movie, isn't he? I think? Let's go with that."

Because he sure as hell wasn't running a lap. Not with his crutches.

"Should've stuck with the easy choice because your actual pick is terrible," James said. "But no lap for you. Good job."

"So my bad movies are bad, but your bad movies are good?" Joker had to ask. "Okay, I'm glad we got that clear right off the bat. I haven't seen today's movie yet -- but I've suddenly got a feeling I'm going to agree with you about it."

"No, your bad movie is terrible. Mine is amazing. You underplayed both adjectives," James said. "But you're here to learn."

"Oh, please, educate me, O bastion of wisdom!" Joker replied. "My tiny mind is in need of your teaching!"

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Advanced Film Criticism, Monday, Period 1

Introductions

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