Handling Your Powers, Tuesday

[not_a_whiner]

"Welcome back from the trip," Kaidan greeted the kids as they came into the class. He sounded - and looked - a little tired. Which he was. He just didn't want it to affect his class. "Since we focused on the physical last time, I figured I could bring you guys in gentle this week."

"We're going to be doing some extended meditation exercises," he continued, "then we're going to sit down and everyone can share as much of their story as they want to. I'm using the word 'story' for a reason here - you can cover the last ten years or the last five days. One of the most important reasons we're here doing this thing is to learn from each other's experiences, figure out we're not alone in this crap."

He stepped past the desk. "Now let's get these tables out of the way..."

Comments

Sign In

[not_a_whiner]

Quietly!

Re: Sign In

[genesishero]

Evan Sabahnur

Re: Sign In

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

Celia Bowen

Physical Exercises - Movement

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan put a little variety into the motions this week - he was still putting a focus on grounding, but there were a few more aggressive flourishes, almost-kicks and other things, just to get all of that out of everyone's systems.

Re: Physical Exercises - Movement

[genesishero]

Wow, did Evan ever need this, this week. Being back on the island and having his things bouncing around, was bad enough, but then it was winter out there, and now he was staying in the hotel in order to keep from freezing.

He was pretty sure this whole year was going to be his supervillain origin story. He was trying not to let it be, at least.

Those almost-kicks were definitely where most of his focus was going during today's exercises.

Re: Physical Exercises - Movement

[livebytherules.livejournal.com]

Will could get with this. He'd made sure to stay fairly active on the vacation but it had still been a vacation so getting back into the swing of things was needed.

Re: Physical Exercises - Movement

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

Eleanor had had a nice vacation, but the grounding was still helpful. Especially against the growing ball in the pit of her stomach. How much of this was she really willing to talk about?

Physical Exercises - Stillness

[not_a_whiner]

True to his word, Kaidan lengthened the meditation exercise this time. Once everyone had found a comfortable place to sit, he began.

"Okay, I want you to think about your breath," he said. "See it as a swing, going back and forth, sometimes slower, sometimes faster. Keep your mind on how the speed keeps changing..."

He took in a deep breath. "Now think about it in your diaphragm. Think about your clothes shifting with the motion of your chest. Think about the air coming in through your nose. It's cold-- like the ocean rolling in. Again and again, slow and steady."

"Think about how you're sitting here, right now, feeling the waves roll in quietly. You're safe and sound in this moment. Peaceful. Free..."

Re: Physical Exercises - Stillness

[genesishero]

And after the movement exercises the way they were, Evan needed this meditation period all the more. A cool-down, something to help him level out his thoughts for a while. Waves and air and slow and steady...

Safe and sound were both wonderful notions to cling to. Peaceful, even better.

Re: Physical Exercises - Stillness

[livebytherules.livejournal.com]

Will took a few deep, steadying breaths and let himself cool down. He relaxed and breathed deep. It settled and centered him fairly easily.

Re: Physical Exercises - Stillness

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

Eleanor was safe. she was sitting on a beach, with the waves crashing around her. She was at the surface. Mother was a million miles away, in another dimension.

She was powerful. No one could hurt her, now.

Peaceful. Free.

Discuss

[not_a_whiner]

"Nobody needs to get up if they don't want to," Kaidan said, as he brought the meditation exercise to an end. "Just... go sit where you're comfortable."

He took a breath.

"We've talked about individual experiences in our lives before, and about a vague, global picture," he said. "But -- and I'm sorry if this sounds woolly or kind of, uh, out there -- I'd like us all to get some idea of who everyone is, what their story is, y'know? So instead of giving you all a prompt to talk about, today, I'm just going to-- you guys can talk. About whatever you want to, as long as it's vaguely on topic. About your lives, or something that's happened... anything."

Re: Discuss

[genesishero]

Evan stayed right where he was, not quite ready to let the suggestion of peace and freedom go, so long as there was going to be discussion in the cards. He took a deep breath, hesitating for a moment, not quite certain if he wanted to say anything at all.

And then it all came out at once.

"I'm a clone," he said, softly. "I was created from the DNA of a little boy who was murdered in his playroom, who also just so happened to be the reincarnation of one of the most evil, powerful people my reality's ever known. The boy was being raised to be a champion of evolution, of the dominance of mutants over homo sapiens, to be a god among his people, like he's been in all of his other lifetimes before."

He swallowed the lump in his throat and pressed on.

"I was an experiment, made by the person who killed the boy. He wanted to know what would come out strongest in a contest of nature versus nurture. I was raised in a perfect home, in a virtual reality, with a Ma and Pa who took good care of me. I was taught to be a hero, and I had no idea what I really was until... until about a year ago, last week. Finding out the truth was... it was..."

He tapered off and shook his head, pulling in a ragged breath. It had been a year since he found out that everyone that had ever loved him either wasn't what they seemed, or wasn't real at all. A year since he found out just what sort of monster everyone was accusing him of being.

Re: Discuss

[not_a_whiner]

Well, fuck.

Kaidan had enough experience and presence of mind not to say that out loud, though - and he'd heard enough from Evan before to be able to guess at... some of this.

But still, fuck.

"Hey," he said instead. "Evan. It's okay. You're right here, we're all real-- it's gonna be okay."

He was never really terribly good with words.

Re: Discuss

[livebytherules.livejournal.com]

"My parents recently died in a plane crash," Will decided to share. It was the truth even if a lie was embedded within in that he was sure his dad was sill alive. "And I'm learning that they kept a lot of secrets from me and about me. It's not -- easy to be angry and be upset at he same time."

He stopped there. He'd shared but he hadn't shared enough to get Dave and the Hierarchy mad. Will hoped not, at least.

Re: Discuss

[not_a_whiner]

"Yeah, that's... that's rough," Kaidan said, because words. Words. "Do you have any idea why they did--?"

Re: Discuss

[genesishero]

"It's not," Evan agreed quietly, chewing his lip as he looked up at Will. "I've been there, too. It's kind of... you want to be mad, but who you're mad at is gone, and you want to take them by the shoulders and shake them and ask them why they lied for so long, and you can't, and you miss them, and..."

He bit his tongue and shrugged his shoulders a little. He was pretty sure Will got the point.

"There's no closure. It just hurts."

Re: Discuss

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

"Maybe they were trying to protect you," Eleanor offered, before thinking to add, "I'm not trying to defend them."

She was getting better at tact. Marginally.

Re: Discuss

[pasunereveuse.livejournal.com]

Celia considered her hands thoughtfully as she rolled through the options of what she could -- or would -- share.

"My mother died when I was five," she offered quietly. "At that time, I was given to my father for care -- they weren't married, and as far as I know hadn't even seen each other since the events leading to my conception. And my father is a practicing stage illusionist. He makes his living traveling the world and making doves appear out of thin air."

She smiled a little, wiggling her fingers. "But as we all know, they're not just illusions, and I inherited my father's magic. When I was five, and I came into his care, my father bound me to a challenge with a fellow magician: I have been trained, every day of my life since, to eventually face an unknown opponent who has also been trained for as long and as intensely, to see who is the better magician."

Celia cleared her throat, obviously a little uncomfortable. "That's why I'm so helpless without my powers," she added, shrugging. "At home, I I'm not even allowed tie my boots or pour the tea without magic, because it's part of my training." And if she sounded a little bitter about that -- well. There were two people in the room who knew explicitly how abusive her father's methods had really been, and it wasn't exactly difficult to read between the lines, anyway.

Re: Discuss

[not_a_whiner]

Especially not when you'd been on the receiving end of the same kind of treatment. "Are you glad you came here?" Kaidan asked. He wasn't even trying to obscure the sympathy in his voice.

Re: Discuss

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

"Do you want to learn those things?" Eleanor asked. "How to do things without powers, I mean. I could teach you how to braid hair."

That didn't address the bare fact of Celia's abusive childhood, but it was a legitimate question nonetheless.

Re: Discuss

[nobloodymessiah.livejournal.com]

Eleanor chose a fairly isolated spot. She kept her eyes focused on the floor when she talked.

"My mother was arrested when I was six," she said. "I was sold to an orphanage. One that funneled girls through for experiments. Five to eight, that was the ideal range. The best yield. They made us -- made me into some freakish thing."

She couldn't talk about what was inside of her, just yet; only Joker had even heard of that before. She drew a steadying breath and continued.

"They scrambled my mind, and so I did their bidding. Then Mother came and rescued me. Except ... I think she did it because I belonged to her, and they'd stolen her property. It wasn't love, or affection. And so she kept me locked away from people, because of my condition."

She nearly spat the word, but she continued, nonetheless. "And she used the experiments they'd done on me to try to create a Messiah, to make some kind of Frankenstein uber-person. She kept me sedated and restrained while she treated me with higher and higher doses. She convinced her cult that I was their savior; they would gather by the windows and watch, and light candles. Keep vigil while she worked on me."

That wasn't the end, but that was suddenly, abruptly, all she was willing to say. She bit her lip and waited for someone to comment, or to change the subject, or anything.

Re: Discuss

[genesishero]

Evan swallowed at a lump that was forming in his throat as Eleanor spoke. It took him a moment before he offered up the best he had, which was mostly a timid sort of, "I'm sorry. Somebody kept me in a room once, and tried to make me into something I don't ever want to be. But... that was only for a week. I can't imagine what it would've been like, living that way for years."

Talk to the Teacher

[not_a_whiner]

In case anyone has any further inclination to listen to him talk.

OOC

[not_a_whiner]

My brain.