fandomhigh | Friendship is Baking!!!!1!, Wednesday, Period 3

Pinkie Pie was practically vibrating at the front of the class, today.

No. That wasn't the right term. What was it again? That thing that means -- literally. Yes, that's it.

Pinkie Pie was literally vibrating at the front of class, today.

It was as creepy as it sounds.

It also meant that Derek was trying to keep a safe distance from her. But the joke was on him, there was no safe distance. "Today we're going to learn to make pie."

Pinkie couldn't contain herself. She sproinged up into the air with a squee of delight not even remotely unlike the noise of a squeaky toy being devoured by a rottweiler. "I LOVE PIE!" she shrieked, then glanced over at Derek and made an obvious attempt to settle back down.

Thus, the vibrating.

Derek rubbed his forehead and regretted all of his life choices for the third time that day. It was a thing he did, you see. "Just make the pies," he said with a sigh. "We have apples."

And no, he wouldn't help any of you make the pies. ASK THE PONY WHO DOESN'T HAVE HANDS.

Hey, the pony that doesn't have hands is a skilled baker. Don't ask how that works. You really do not want to know.

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"I don't think so?" Rilla said faintly. "Is there actually bugs in it?"

"I've never made apple pie before," Mavis admitted. "But there's real bugs in Shoe Fly Pie."

Also... real shoes.

This wasn't Hannibal's class, so..."Ew. What is wrong with Yankee cooks?"

Mavis blinked. "I dunno; I've never eaten Yankee. Is that a kind of pie?"

"No, it's a kind of person...oh dear, that might not exclude it from you having had it." Rilla looked rather horrified.

Mavis looked equally horrified. "I don't eat people! What kind of monster do you think I am?"

Rilla flailed. "You turn into a bat! I thought..." Hand gesture, hand gesture, hand gesture that maybe could be interpreted as "you drink blood" or possibly a really terrible folk dance.

"Bats don't eat people." Mavis really needed an interpretive dance class.

"Oh," Rilla said. "I thought I'd read somewhere..."

Bram Stoker got a lot wrong, Rilla.

"I'm terribly sorry."

Mavis shook her head. "No, don't be; it's not your fault. My dad's right -- the human world's full of myths about monsters that aren't true."

Aaaaand also full of monsters who lived up to and beyond the bad press, but Mavis had lived an extremely sheltered life.

"Like the drinking human blood thing. We can, but we don't. Not anymore."

"That's really...polite of you?" Rilla offered.

Friendship is Baking!!!!1!, Wednesday, Period 3

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