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fandomhigh2014-01-08 09:57 pm
beyonce_pad_thai) wrote in fandomhigh2014-01-08 09:57 pm
Entry tags:
Sexual Health ; Thursday ; Third Period
Mindy didn't want to disclose how long she spent picking out her outfit for today, but ultimately settled on a cute skirt and blouse combo with a cardigan and an added tie for flair. Plus her glasses. That looked teacherly, right? She also brought with her a bright red apple, which she carried to class in her purse and stashed on the corner of the desk in the minutes before the class filtered in.
There was another surprise in her purse but she was saving it for later.
Once everyone arrived and she was finished subtly gawking at the obvious aliens, she smoothed out her skirt and stood up. Go time.
"Hello," she said. "Welcome to Sexual Health. My name is Dr. Lahiri, and I will be your teacher this semester. Now, although I know that I look like I'm basically your age, I can assure you that I am a professional doctor. I attended Princeton University, one of the best universities in the United States, where I graduated summa cum laude. Since then, I have been practicing obstetrics and gynecology in New York, New York, which is objectively the best city in the United States, but no longer has a place for well-meaning and compassionate medical professionals who took a few months' sabbatical to go provide medical aid in Haiti.
"We will be covering your standard-issue sex education topics, like anatomy, contraceptives, sexually transmitted whathaveyous, the unpleasant consequences of unplanned pregnancy, and general tips on being safe and healthy when you get horizontal with the person of your choosing. Obviously not all of this is going to be relevant to everyone, but it's always good information to have. In fact, knowing about the basic makeup of sperm cells is more of a thing to tell people at parties to impress them than it is a practical skill, so don't worry."
"I want to make sure that all of your questions are answered, so in order to achieve that, I have created an anonymous question box where you can submit any sexual health-related queries that you might have."
The glittery, bedazzled box was on her desk and Mindy swept an arm in its direction to indicate it.
"You can also make a fake Gmail account and email them to me like my nurse Morgan does, I guess, but make sure to include a subject line that isn't weird or they'll go right to spam."
Mindy tucked some loose hair behind her ear and then continued. "I actually have a teaching assistant for this class who everyone should meet this week," she said. She reached into her purse and removed her hand with a sock puppet on the end of it, with blonde hair made out of yarn and manic googly eyes. "This is Erica Everywoman, you guys."
In a falsetto, 'Erica' chirped, "Hi, class! Congratulations on taking the first step toward familiarity with your bodies and healthy intimacy with yourself and others!"
"Whoa, Erica," Mindy cut in. "That's a little forward. Sorry, everyone," she told the class. "I promise, she's much smarter than that made her sound. In fact, Erica went to Princeton with me!" College Mindy hadn't had a lot of friends.
"But, as you can see, we have our bases covered in terms of qualified educators," she assured everyone. "So today, Erica and I want to get to know you! Then we're going to be doing a brief activity. But just so you know, it will be rated PG-13, so hold on to your finger puppets!"
She was trying to be funny but only succeeding in embarrassing herself.
{wait for the OCD! OCD up! }
There was another surprise in her purse but she was saving it for later.
Once everyone arrived and she was finished subtly gawking at the obvious aliens, she smoothed out her skirt and stood up. Go time.
"Hello," she said. "Welcome to Sexual Health. My name is Dr. Lahiri, and I will be your teacher this semester. Now, although I know that I look like I'm basically your age, I can assure you that I am a professional doctor. I attended Princeton University, one of the best universities in the United States, where I graduated summa cum laude. Since then, I have been practicing obstetrics and gynecology in New York, New York, which is objectively the best city in the United States, but no longer has a place for well-meaning and compassionate medical professionals who took a few months' sabbatical to go provide medical aid in Haiti.
"We will be covering your standard-issue sex education topics, like anatomy, contraceptives, sexually transmitted whathaveyous, the unpleasant consequences of unplanned pregnancy, and general tips on being safe and healthy when you get horizontal with the person of your choosing. Obviously not all of this is going to be relevant to everyone, but it's always good information to have. In fact, knowing about the basic makeup of sperm cells is more of a thing to tell people at parties to impress them than it is a practical skill, so don't worry."
"I want to make sure that all of your questions are answered, so in order to achieve that, I have created an anonymous question box where you can submit any sexual health-related queries that you might have."
The glittery, bedazzled box was on her desk and Mindy swept an arm in its direction to indicate it.
"You can also make a fake Gmail account and email them to me like my nurse Morgan does, I guess, but make sure to include a subject line that isn't weird or they'll go right to spam."
Mindy tucked some loose hair behind her ear and then continued. "I actually have a teaching assistant for this class who everyone should meet this week," she said. She reached into her purse and removed her hand with a sock puppet on the end of it, with blonde hair made out of yarn and manic googly eyes. "This is Erica Everywoman, you guys."
In a falsetto, 'Erica' chirped, "Hi, class! Congratulations on taking the first step toward familiarity with your bodies and healthy intimacy with yourself and others!"
"Whoa, Erica," Mindy cut in. "That's a little forward. Sorry, everyone," she told the class. "I promise, she's much smarter than that made her sound. In fact, Erica went to Princeton with me!" College Mindy hadn't had a lot of friends.
"But, as you can see, we have our bases covered in terms of qualified educators," she assured everyone. "So today, Erica and I want to get to know you! Then we're going to be doing a brief activity. But just so you know, it will be rated PG-13, so hold on to your finger puppets!"
She was trying to be funny but only succeeding in embarrassing herself.
{
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