Space!, Friday

[not_a_whiner]

Was Kaidan looking more uncomfortable than usual today? Yes, yes he was.

"Hey," he told the class. "I've been informed that I should probably cover--" He coughed. "...Interspecies relations with you. In case that, uh. Comes up."

Shuffle.

"There are risks involved with, uh, associating intimately with someone of another sentient species," he said. "For example, if you're a levo-amino lifeform and you have relations with a dextro-amino person, both of you are at risk of having allergic reactions to your, uh." Damn it. "...Fluids."

Nghghghgh. He was just... Going to try and get through this.

"Some species secrete substances that might serve as hallucinogenics," he continued on doggedly. "They might have oddly shaped genitals or specific mating rituals that need to be observed. But... most of the time, at least... you can bet there won't be a risk of pregnancy." A pause. "Unless you're sleeping with an asari. They can, ah. Get along. With anybody. Though the offspring is always asari."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Basically, make sure to be informed about the details of the reproductive habits of your heterospecies relationship," he said, rubbing harder at the back of his neck. "And no, pornography is not a good substitute. Talk to a doctor. Or a professor. A professional." Probably not a Systems Alliance marine.

He fell silent for a long moment.

"Okay," he said. "I'm going to make you all play an informative game about interspecies relationships. Team up, two to a screen, let's go."

And stop talking about this. Right now.

Comments

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[sciencesalarian.livejournal.com]

The lucky thing about not having a sex drive is that sex was a dispassionate, purely reproductive affair and nothing to be embarrassed about. The unlucky thing was that Mordin had no concept of other's discomfort. Which is why he interrupted his teacher's intense focus.

"Curious, any manuals on safe interspecies sex practices with humans published? Omni-tool on a network from very nearly just after First Contact with humans, and could only find crude porn. Did not open, of course. Would like to upload some more anatomically correct data if possible."

(I'm wrapping up a final paper so I miiiiight be slow until I finish but this is too good a class not to bother poor Kaidan about.)

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan reached up very deliberately and squeezed the bridge of his nose quite hard.

"I'm sure there's some medical texts," he managed. Salarians. "I'll... just let the home office know."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[sciencesalarian.livejournal.com]

"Medical texts good start," Mordin pressed on, not to be deterred by things like an uncomfortable conversation partner. "Would be best expanded on with information on erogenous zones, positions to accomodate multiple anatomies...." He breathed in sharply. "Proper biohazardous byproduct disposal."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[not_a_whiner]

Kaidan's eyebrows shot up and his eyes managed an uncomfortable little dance underneath them. "Uh," he said, "I'm not really an expert, sorry."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[sciencesalarian.livejournal.com]

"Ah, can continue to search for generalizable scholarship on subject rather than pornographic anecdata." Maybe he'd learn a little about how to read obvious human body language while he was at it. "Will share findings, if conclusive."

Re: Talk to the Teacher

[not_a_whiner]

"You... really don't need to do that," Kaidan offered, after a short pause. "Not really dating any aliens. Uh, at the moment-- I won't exclude anything, but..."

Human-rich environment here!