fandomhigh | Breaking Things 101, Wednesday, Period 3

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breaking things

Breaking Things 101, Wednesday, Period 3

The Danger Shop was a warehouse, with all manners of ~~moddable~~ breakable things lining the shelves about as far as the eye could see. And by the door, Electroclash, cradling a crystal vase in her hands.

"Welcome to Breaking Things 101," she announced, once the students had all shown up. Or she assumed they all had, anyway. She didn't care. "First things first, before we get to the necessary evil of introductions, I want the lot of you to go around –" She indicated to the warehouse at large. "– and find an object, any object. Then come back. Chop chop."

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"Right," Electroclash said once at least most of the students had gathered back around her. "Introductions! Name, grade, why you're here and what you might like to break at some point over this term."

Simple, right?

"Oh, and then you break whatever object it is that you picked. I'll go first." Naturally. "I'm Electroclash, I'm here because once upon a time the Super Power Authority sent me here to do community service and I can't seem to leave, and I would like to break... a coffee table."

And then she dropped the crystal vase she'd been holding. Good thing all those shards were only simulated.

She nodded at a student at random. "You next."

Topher was holding... was it some kind of bong? It was glass, anyway.

"Topher Brink, senior, I'm here because my other class this semester is really pretentious and breaking stuff is a good balance to that, and I wanna break..." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "A chandelier."

And then he tossed the maybe-bong. It shattered pretty impressively.

"Ooh, excellent choice." Hey, smashing a chandelier sounded like it'd be fun. "But how d'you know this class isn't going to be pretentious?"

Well, she was going to be covering some less physical ways of breaking things later on, but it was never going to get pretentious.

"It's called 'breaking things,'" Topher pointed out.

"It's not all breaking glass objects, you know," Electroclash retorted. "And if you think it is, then I pity you for your lack of thinking outside the bleeding box, as they say."

"I'm familiar with the concept," Topher said, in a voice several shades too snarky to really be directed at a teacher. "I know how to break all kinds of stuff. Other people's computers, various laundry machines, the academic curve..."

The voice was fine. Electroclash wasn't really employing proper teacher-to-student tones either. "See, there's room for pretention beyond the academic curve."

"Sparkle, and if anyone laughs I'll break their face before I break anything else. I'm a Junior, and..." He pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Wouldn't mind taking a wrecking ball or at least gasoline and a match to a big fancy house sometime."

Sparkle had issues. But hey, this was the Danger Shop, so why not? He gave a smug little grin, and then up-ended the box and put his weight right into hefting it downwards, watching shards of records scatter across the floor.

Edited 2013-09-04 11:29 (UTC)

Electroclash nodded appreciatively. "I think something like that can probably be arranged, yeah," she said. "Would even go with Topher's chandelier idea, too."

"There's something to be said for expensive property damage," Sparkle noted, sounding pleased at the idea. "Taking a baseball bat to an expensive car could be fun, too. Oh! Or monster trucks."

... Sparkle spent a long time thinking about how to break things.

"Breaking monster trucks, or running over things with monster trucks?"

There was a distinction!

Although she actually approved of both.

"Both."

Duh.

"Running over monster trucks with bigger monster trucks. Because why the hell not?"

And this was why you were Electroclash's favourite, Sparks.

"Ha. Good thinking."

Korra had found a particularly large and ugly stone statue.

"Korra, senior, and knowing how to break stuff makes it easier not to. I'd like to break..." She tried to think of something suitably impressive. "...a peninsula?"

After all, Avatar Kyoshi had done it that one time.

"... Ambitious."

But potentially amusing!

"We'll see if we can make that happen for ya. But for now, you can start with that statue."

"That I can do," Korra said cheerfully, punching the statue with her earthbending behind it.

The statue crumbled into a thousand tiny pieces.

Raven had found an elaborately constructed porcelain unicorn. Seriously, thing was, like, two feet tall and gilded and shit.

"I'm Raven Darkholme. A sophomore." She looked at the unicorn for a moment. Everyone else was taking the next part of the introduction kind of literally. "I'm mostly thinking I'd like to break some rules."

And she threw the unicorn to the ground. When it didn't break into very many pieces, she stomped on it for good measure.

Very thorough. Electroclash approved. Of that, but also of other things. "Oh, we'll be covering that, too," she said. "I love a bit of rule-breaking, me."

As may have been obvious from what she'd said about how she'd ended up in Fandom.

Gooose had found a glass statue of, he was guessing it was supposed to be a flower of some kind. "I'm Shane Gooseman," he said, "I'm a senior and I'm here because my guardian signed me up for this class," there was a pause, "and I'd like to break a spaceship,"

With that he threw the statue on the floor and watched it shattered into pieces on impact.

"I'm Zee," she replied, tossing a pretty, decorative egg-thing from one hand to another. "I'm a Junior and I'd really like to learn how to break people."

Yeah, that didn't set her up to be the nicest person in the room, but as far as she was concerned, after school it was going to be the a Zhahar Tryad against the world. Playing dirty was just a fact of life.

"And sometime, I wanna push a piano down the stairs or over a ledge or something."

She didn't even know where that idea had come from, but it sounded fun. Then she turned and hurled the decorative egg through a warehouse window. There was a nice smash as it broke the pane and glass shards came pouring down.

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Breaking Things 101, Wednesday, Period 3

Introductions [BT 09/04]

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