Kaidan Alenko (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_a_whiner) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomhigh2013-08-13 12:23 pm
not_a_whiner) wrote in fandomhigh2013-08-13 12:23 pm
Entry tags:
Coping With Loss, Tuesday, Third Period
"Today, I'd like to do a couple of exercises with the class as a group," Kaidan said. He was holding a couple of blank sheets of paper. He walked past each table and put down one of the pieces of paper until he was all out.
Then he returned to the front of the class. "First, we've got to talk freely about this. You can opt out of this exercise if you want to, but it'd probably be useful for the rest of the class if you didn't." He scraped his throat. "I'm going to ask you all a couple of questions. I want you to raise your hand if your answer is 'yes', and hold it up so the rest of the class can see it."
Once he'd gone through the exercise, he instructed the students to put their pens to paper.
"I want you to write down some things," he said. "Start with five items that are really important to you. Then, five things about the world you like. Places you like going to, animals you're fond of, that kind of thing. Then write down five activities you're into. Jogging, reading, whatever. Finally, I want you to write down five people you care about."
He waited until everyone was done before continuing-- by reading off a datapad.
"I'm going to tell you a story," he said. "Imagine you're in the shower some day. It's been a good time, nice weather, you hung out with some good people. You're cleaning off and getting ready to go to bed when you realize there's an odd lump. It kinda hurts to touch. You can't help but worry, even though you keep telling yourself it's nothing. But you can't sleep that night. And the next day... you're still worried. So you call up the doctor and make an appointment."
He lowered the datapad. "I want you to pick one thing on your list and strike it off," he said. "That's gone."
He cleared his throat. "You worry for a couple of days more and then you find yourself in the doctor’s waiting room. You're nervous. You notice everything in the room: the ticking clock, the magazines, the fish. You think about it and realize you're anxious. The doctor shows up eventually and takes your history-- you try to second-guess why he is asking all of those questions about malignancy in your family history. 'Oh, it’s probably nothing,' he says. 'But we ought to do some further tests just to be sure.' But you're worried, and that worry isn't going away this time. So... strike three things off your list."
Kaidan went on like that for a while, describing the process of finding out you had a terrible illness - fighting it, then finding out that no amount of fighting was going to stop it. At every phase in the story, he told the class to strike a few things off their lists.
By the end, he was telling them to breathe in deeply, then let go. "And that was it," he finished. "You're dead. Strike the last ones off your list and toss it out."
He cleared his throat. "We're done now," he said. "You're all alive and, uh, breathing. So-- there's still a few minutes on the clock. If you want to talk, there's space."
Then he returned to the front of the class. "First, we've got to talk freely about this. You can opt out of this exercise if you want to, but it'd probably be useful for the rest of the class if you didn't." He scraped his throat. "I'm going to ask you all a couple of questions. I want you to raise your hand if your answer is 'yes', and hold it up so the rest of the class can see it."
Once he'd gone through the exercise, he instructed the students to put their pens to paper.
"I want you to write down some things," he said. "Start with five items that are really important to you. Then, five things about the world you like. Places you like going to, animals you're fond of, that kind of thing. Then write down five activities you're into. Jogging, reading, whatever. Finally, I want you to write down five people you care about."
He waited until everyone was done before continuing-- by reading off a datapad.
He lowered the datapad. "I want you to pick one thing on your list and strike it off," he said. "That's gone."
He cleared his throat. "You worry for a couple of days more and then you find yourself in the doctor’s waiting room. You're nervous. You notice everything in the room: the ticking clock, the magazines, the fish. You think about it and realize you're anxious. The doctor shows up eventually and takes your history-- you try to second-guess why he is asking all of those questions about malignancy in your family history. 'Oh, it’s probably nothing,' he says. 'But we ought to do some further tests just to be sure.' But you're worried, and that worry isn't going away this time. So... strike three things off your list."
Kaidan went on like that for a while, describing the process of finding out you had a terrible illness - fighting it, then finding out that no amount of fighting was going to stop it. At every phase in the story, he told the class to strike a few things off their lists.
By the end, he was telling them to breathe in deeply, then let go. "And that was it," he finished. "You're dead. Strike the last ones off your list and toss it out."
He cleared his throat. "We're done now," he said. "You're all alive and, uh, breathing. So-- there's still a few minutes on the clock. If you want to talk, there's space."
Re: Talk.
But he did know an upset student when he saw one running out-- uh, through-- the door. "Anna," he said, pausing for a moment to strike words like 'what was that' out of his head before he said them. "Uh... are you okay?"
Re: Talk.
Re: Talk.
"I'm sorry."
That sounded stupid. Really stupid. "Do you need some more time...? You can leave, if you want to."